My mother is nicer, kinder, and easier at 98. Anyone else experience this?

Molly, I also noticed when my Mom was in her 80's she was much more pleasant, and that she even had a sense of humor, which I had never noticed in her before. My Dad was always the one doing the jokes, so it was great seeing Mom laughing. And yes, saying thank you whenever I was helping out.

Unfortunately in my case, when my Mom was in her 90's, she wasn't a happy camper. She was not aging gracefully. And in part I could understand why as she was losing her hearing and eye sight, I would turn into a bear, too.

Let's hope, Molly, that your Mom continues with this easy going change in personality. Could be with some memory loss she doesn't feel like she has the world on her shoulders.

I found something similar with my second MIL. She was quite unpleasant when DH and I married in our 50s, and she was also awful to FIL. Fast forward to the Nursing Home and FIL’s almost immediate death, and she became so much nicer it was quite disorientating. Nicer to everyone, but particularly to me. Our best guess was that she realised she was on her own in her 90s and needed to stop pushing people around. She also didn't have dementia, just old age. It seemed like an act to me, and she was a big time actress, but it was heaps better to cope with.

My 93 year old Mom has vascular dementia (extreme loss of memory, confusions, etc.) and she is a much nicer and sweeter person compared to when she was younger.  I think my Mom showed signs of dementia in her middle to late 80's and the dementia has been progressing which is sad to watch.

She always says "thank you" to me and tells me how much she loves me.   Naturally this makes caregiving for her easier for me.  

I consider myself lucky that she's been this way.

Jenna

How nice that your Mom is so peaceful. It’s a wonderful blessing. I hope for your sake and hers that she remains calm and content.

"Who are you and what have you done with my mother..?"

It is so refreshing and cheering to read your account - long may your mother continue to enjoy life, and long may you and her family enjoy this new mellow version of her.

My mom continually says thank you to me. She says please also.

I've noticed the same happening with a family member (she's in her early 90's) who's declined a lot in the last couple of years, both physically and mentally. She used to be so very manipulative, bossy, and demeaning. Now, she is humble, thankful, and compliant. I'm thankful, too.

My mother has always been selfless, but incredibly independent. I also believe that her short-term memory issues made her more cautious.....maybe even paranoid a little. But she reached a point where she let go of that caution and began to accept the help of others. Her last few years, she was especially sweet and so easy to work with. I hope that if I live that long, I can exhibit the kindness and grace that mom did:)

Sometimes people get nicer.. My Mam
maw was always very kind and considerate and as she developed Alzheimer's..she continued to be the same.. Not all people have that experience.. So I'm really encouraged to read all the good experiences.

Count your blessings..you’re in the minority.