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My mother wants to be in control and is a busy body. She requires me to redirect her multiple times an hour and this infuriates her. For example she loves wash dishes in cold water but she loves to spread clean and dirty dishes and towels all over each and every flat surface more. Do I let her run my home and drive me crazy? I think it’s is time for her to go to a home! Please help

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No, you don't allow her to run your home but she can no longer able to be reasoned with. She has lost that ability. I placed my Mom because I was not a caregiver, my house has too many steps and she had more socialization and freedom in the AL.

If you are getting burned out, maybe time to place her.
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If you are having problems of your own you can not care for your mom 24/7/365.
You need to do one of the following.
1. Hire a caregiver. Mom pays for a caregiver to come in and help out. The caregiver can do whatever needs to be done. Housework, direct care of mom, taking her for walks, shower, dressing. Pretty much anything that needs to be done. The caregiver could be 2 or 3 days a week. More if you need. Can be full days or half days. Although it might be more difficult to get part time now.
2. Look for Adult Day Care in your area,. That will give mom something to do. Many pickup and drop off. They provide a lunch, snack and some will have a light breakfast as well. There are programs she can get involved with and she will meet people. This gives both of you a break.
3 Look for Memory Care facility for her.
All of these are viable options. You can not do this yourself. The difficult decision is figuring out what one is the best option.
You can try Day Care if that works, great.
You can try a caregiver and if you need to alternate it with Day Care.
Eventually full time placement might be necessary if you can not care for her safely. (safety is not just physical but mental, emotional as well.)
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You've answered your own question here! If your mother with Alzheimer's is driving you crazy & you're already depressed and burned out, then of course you need to place her in a Memory Care Assisted Living Facility or a Skilled Nursing Facility, depending on her financial situation. In-home caregiving has to work for ALL concerned; you and your family and your mother as well. If you're not happy, then it's not working for all concerned, so it's time to make other arrangements. This is often the case with dementia/Alz as it progresses to the advanced stages.

I will tell you honestly that there is NO WAY I could possibly care for my mother at home; she is 95 next month with advanced dementia and a host of issues way too numerous to mention. She's fallen 47x so far while living in Memory Care alone (since June 2019) and 40x while living in Assisted Living previously. She's been wheelchair bound since 2019 and that alone prevents me from bringing her to my house. So in home care was never a consideration for me. There is no shame in admitting such a thing, nor should there be any guilt involved. My mother has always enjoyed the social aspects of AL and lives in a Memory Care with only 23 residents in total. The caregivers dote on her and she loves all of them who treat her like a family member.

Look around at some places nearby and find one that fits your mother's needs as well as her finances. You can visit her frequently and go back to being a daughter again rather than a hands-on caregiver which not everyone is cut out to be.

Don't pay attention to commenters who come here to tell you horror stories about what monstrous places managed care homes are. I'm here to tell you that's not the case at all! You just have to do your homework if you're looking at Skilled Nursing Facilities and find one that has good ratings and feels right to YOU.

Best of luck!
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Try giving her a chore she can do safely, such as folding towels, as an immediate behavioral suggestion, and then research into memory care using this site's tool or abundant others.

People ted to look not too early, but when they are in true crisis mode. This doesn't have to happen to you.

My best friend's mother ended up placing Mom in an MC about a year after behaviors started. Of course BFF ended up happier, but so did the mom. This was a board and care, too.
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