Hi, I'm new here. I just moved my 74 year old mother across the country and into my house to live with my husband and I. Things are not going well to say the least.
I moved her in because she is requiring full-time care, which she wasn't getting from her husband. She has fallen several times and has suffered traumatic brain injuries, broken bones, fractures in her neck/back, lacerations to her head and ears, destroyed her knees, etc. She also has arthritis, fibromyalgia and diminished cognitive function (from the brain injuries). I knew she had been seeing pain specialists and receiving meds to treat her horrible pain for many years (20+) and felt confidant they were doing right by her. After the last time she had a serious fall (in ICU 5 days), her two pain doctors said they were stopping some of her meds because they were concerned and I agreed.
After having her here one week, I realized she is still taking a dangerous concoction of meds and it is the reason behind all her falls and injuries. My heart is crushed. The main one causing the most concern is Ambien. When her two doctors refuse to refill them, she went to her GP and got a prescription, which I did not know about. Besides the prescriptions, she is also taking lots of OTC meds like Benadryl. Honestly, I'm surprised she hasn't overdosed yet. What doesn't surprise me is that she's been doing it and hiding it from me. She is a recovered alcoholic and has had various addiction problems years.
Three weeks ago, I took her to meet her new GP and he refused to give her refills of those meds, thankfully. However, my mom wasn't so thankful. She started crying and threw a horrible fit embarrassing me and herself. Since then, I've been talking to her about how dangerous it is and she needs to try alternative therapies. She just won't listen to me and says nothing works but the pills and that she can't live without them.
She's been falling several times a week between 2-3am because after she takes her Ambien, she's zombie walking and tripping, passing out going to the bathroom and crashing to the floor, etc. Every morning after a fall, I ask her what she was doing when she fell. She'll deny it and say I did not fall! So, I started taking photos of her on the floor so she could see what she is doing to herself. I confronted her once again this morning and asked her how much Ambien she has left. She said two months. My husband and I told her we love her, but she needs to start cutting down and stop taking it. That she is hurting us and we can't sleep at night. I even told her if I had known she was doing this, I would have never brought her into our home.
My husband and I just married two years ago. Earlier this year, my husband lost his job due to Covid and is having a difficult time finding work. We have put our marriage and finances on the line for her. We are at our wits end and we just started on our caregiving journey. I'm wondering now how we are going to survive this situation.