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Fluid retention led to kidney failure. She was in hospital 2 weeks, rehab 2 weeks. And now home 6 weeks. Is in a wheelchair. Unable to care for self due to no endurance. Has home care and me staying with her the balance. Not eating much. Resting a lot. Dialysis 3 days a week. She is on a roller coaster in feeling better. EF is below 10. She keeps saying she is going to get better. But I just can’t see it. She is now having bruises and red stripes on her arms. I just don’t know if she is in the process of dying or will she get better and able to be independent again?

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I am surprised that they are doing dialysis with a bad heart. I was under the impression its hard or major organs. If Mom goes off dialysis and on Hospice, she will probably pass in a couple of weeks. I can understand the bruises but red strips?
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Her doctors are not saying she can’t be alone now the rehab physical and occupational therapist are saying she has to have some one with her. She will not discuss that she is dying. And the doctors will not come out and say that she is. I have attended all of her doctor apt’s. She will not talk about it. And I don’t want to push the issue but I feel like she isn’t facing it. I am at a loss as to how to help her other than just being her taking care of her. I guess I also feel Luke the dialysis is just hurting the quality of life for the time that she does have.
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She has multi system organ failure in all three of the main organs we require to function. I am certain her doctor must have told you that this is dire circumstances. It is unlikely she will be independent again. I have myself already stipulated that I will not accept dialysis when the time comes that the kidneys shut down. Congestive Heart failure is aptly named in that it is the failure of the heart to act as an efficient pump. While many medications can be given now, all have side effects, all are effective only in treating symptoms. Nothing but a heart transplant will replace a failing heart. It may be time to discuss your Mom's wishes re heroic measures versus palliative and hospice care. If she wishes to fight with all her might for one more day or one more month then that is certainly her perogative, though she is what we called "between the devil and the deep blue sea". Diuretics will rid her of excess fluid but will drop her blood pressure dangerously low and will drop her potassium and sodium levels. If she is short of breath at all then it is left heart failure, if fluid is in extremities then in right failure. Most end with BOTH left and right heart affected. If Mom is able to make her decisions going forth, then she should and her wishes should be honored. If not, then you, likely her health care POA to make decisions with the input of the doctors. Ask them to be honest about the prognosis going forth.
Again, it is very unlikely your Mom will be off dialysis and it is a grueling process. It is very tiring, many hours a week and while there may be one day of feeling slightly better, the system will begin again to shut down until next dialysis.
I am so sorry. Mom sounds as though she wants to make the good fight. It is time to discuss with her how far she wants to take things in that fight. There is no way to get younger. Hugs out to you all.
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If by EF you're referring to Ejection Fraction, that's a telling factor on her challenge to maintain cardiac function.   And that's sad that she feels she'll get better; it must be very frustrating if not frightening for her.   

I couldn't say whether she's in the process of dying; that's a medical diagnosis, but with cardiac failure, low EF, and kidney failure, it unfortunately and sadly doesn't sound very positive.

What does the doctor who scripted for home care say?   The medical people are the ones to provide the insightful answers.
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Jlhar2143 Jul 2020
i have reached out to her GP and her cardiologist and they both are not saying that she is. But if she isn’t and this is going to get worst. I just don’t know how she can go through it.

I was with my father for the 3 weeks that he went through the dying process from his last major stroke. But we had hospice and that was such a big help. But we don’t have hospice due to her doing dialysis and die to no dr approving to bring them in. It is a lot for one person to handle in this Covid world and to try to work. But I have to in order to keep my place and life going. Sorry the wine, I’m just at a loss and we are going into week 6. And I’m at a loss as to what the road is going.
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To me it seems very unlikely that she will get much better. That's a pretty low EF. What does her doctor say about her ability to live alone?
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