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Learn, Dementia is a strange illness that takes on many forms. Sometimes there is no reason for the actions, responses, resentments. My mom was my best friend and yet at the latter stages of her life she would get angry about things. I'd go to visit her and she would close her eyes and pretend she was sleeping. I would hang around and hang around and ten minutes later she was sweet old mom again.

Don't forget people with Dementia live in the past a fair bit. Maybe a male was mean to her once and she is living that memory. It could be something as simple as that.

Does she still communicate? Have you asked her?
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anonymous881051 Feb 2019
I did ask her after a negative remark to my husband and she replied she had nothing against my husband. I am not often there at the same time my brother is there, but he tells me what she says. He does tell me she is better if his wife is with him. . She does not talk to my daddy that way.. The thought came to me that she feels protective of daddy when they are interacting with him and she lashes out. My sister noticed it when she and her husband are there as well.

It was just something we have noticed.
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Trying to figure out the "why's" could very well drive you nutty. So many behaviors of those with dementia are not at all explainable nor are they usually rational. The brain is not able to process information or develop what could be considered rational thoughts. They are not able to use lifetime experiences to form their behaviors.

I do not disagree with Gershun, it very well could be an experience that she had in her life that left a negative impact upon her brain.
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anonymous881051 Feb 2019
Thank you for your response. I am realizing I may never know. I had just noticed a more negative response with Male family members and was just wondering if this was just a "thing" with some females with dementia or if there was something we could be more aware of and try to alleviate the stressor .
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It could be anything. She saw a man mistreating a woman on TV and now all men are bad. One of the male family members said something she didn't like so now she dislikes them all. That they remember, its like looping. But they just had lunch, and that they remember. My Mom was mad at her doctor, really mad. Why, because way back when he made her wait an hour. No rhyme or reason. That is why its so hard to deal with Dementia people. You have to just go along with the flow (which is hard).
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anonymous881051 Feb 2019
Thank you for your response. You are right. It is hard.
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