My mother complains about not being able to hear. Any suggestions?

My mom experienced hearing loss while taking a water pill. When the Dr changed her from lasix to demadex her hearing came back. A reaction to sulfur products.

There could be two issues going on. One: As someone already commented, her brain may not be receiving the auditory signals properly, even though physically her ears are fine.

It's then a brain issue. It depends on her level of dementia, but can also be caused by strokes and heart issues.

However there could be another reason: She may be practicing "selective hearing" and this is a favorite behavior of dysfunctional parents.

So, think about what type of relationship you have with your mother. Was she always the type to inflict guilt trips or attempt to control people with physical ailments? If so, she may be using selective hearing as a manipulative behavior.

I often see this with clients. The parent obviously hears every word spoken by me, but when their children say something they do not want to hear, they claim they can not hear them.

One client complained that she was talking with her brother and he was on a phone two rooms away from the mother, and her mother did not like what she heard the son telling the daughter, so she began yelling, from two rooms away, that what the son was saying was not true. Then she got on the phone, repeated every word the brother said, and claimed it was a lie.

Prior to that however, she would often tell her daughter that she could not hear her, each time she offered the mother a suggestion regarding her health or some other issue the mother refused to address.

Just some food for thought.

Get a hear aid that’s $19.99 as seen on TV at Walgreens Or Walmart. You can adjust volume, turn on or off, and battery last for months.

I got a couple of hear aids for my dad age 85 with Dementia. He like’s it so much he wants to wear it to bed and sometimes hides it at nights
when I need to place on recharger. The reason I got more than one hearing aid. For $19.99 plus tax, it helps & if dad loses it didn’t cost much. It’s made dad more comfortable & easier on me these 3 years living with me.
Hope this helps.

It’s worth trying

It's not hearing, it's a comprehension and processing speed problem. Try very short sentences. Listen and empathize, but don't let her dwell. You may needs to focus on nonverbal communication, picture and visual aids, allowing reminiscing which is easier for folks with dementia. Spend time with her doing hand or back massages, or brushing hair, cutting nails, or other care activities.
Dr. Gross

If I say “mom” first before I start my conversation it seems to help. It takes them longer to interpret anything we say. My mom does hear her doctors and her friends better than she hears me tho 🤔

So oftentimes the elder is going to miss what is being said because they are so focused on what their response is going to be. I had such a time with my late mother because she would constantly talk at the same time that I was speaking to her. After telling her that this won't work, I asked her why she did that. Her response = "Because if I don't just blurt it out, I'll forget what I was going to say." Wow. It was such a communication problem!

My mom has started the same behavior. I had her ears checked and cleaned. She will say “what?” at least three times till it sinks in. It helps if I keep it short and add hand gestures and I can see the lightbulb go on. I think it takes a moment for her to process the request then decide if she wants to respond. Usually with a “no”. Sometimes I let it slide, sometimes I give it the old college try using a “let US do this real quick”. Have to negotiate from an advantage though, if she has the advantage she will dig her heels in. If she won’t get up and out of bed, I start with gently rubbing her feet, get socks on, then say in a convincing voice, “Yes, yes that’s it!! Now just swing those feet over and we will get your shoes on for a quick run to the bathroom”. You can get back in bed afterwards!” (Even if she has not moved) If she pulls her feet back up under the covers, it is a lost cause. I check her supplies and head towards home.

I realize my answer sounds unrealistic, but it’s true.

does she have a history of allergies causing fluid on her ears? In the midst of many health problems, my mother suddenly couldn’t hear. They did hearing test said she had permanent hearing failure and would need hearing aids. In the interim she started occasionally trying Flonase nose spray. This loosened the fluid up and caused her not to have hearing problems for around six months until spring allergies came back. Just a thought.

I have seen advertisements for hearing aids that are not prescription.
I don't think they are very expensive.
Even if it works as a placebo, it may help and worth the effort.

I did read once that Persons Who suffer from demensia or alzheimer's can find it impossible to process the words. This is why We must speak very slowly to them and very distinctly, and always at eye lever, eg never talk down on them. If a demensia Sufferer is in bed then We kneel as We speak with them.

Is her hearing test done with earphones on and/or in a soundproof booth? She may have problems with hearing because she can't sort out your voice from the surrounding noise. OR, Mom has selective "deafness" and won't hear anything she doesn't want to hear. Please take her to a doctor that specializing in hearing and hearing aids. If she does not keep her "nerves for hearing" stimulated, she will do entirely deaf.

First, take her to a place where she can have her ears cleaned. Lots of people have wax that gets down deep into the ear. Don't try to fix it with a Q-tip because if this is the problem, it's too deep for that. (I wear two hearing aids, so I'm speaking from experience.)
Next, realize that lots of drugs have an effect on hearing. Have your mother's prescriptions changed recently? Look up "drugs that can damage hearing" to see a list of possible culprits, called ototoxic drugs. Even aspirin, certain antibiotics, lasix, or common antidepressants can be guilty! (here's one site: https://www.hearingaids.com/2018/03/06/the-common-medications-known-to-cause-hearing-loss/)
The antibiotic Vancomycin, for instance, causes damage to the tiny hairs in the inner ear, especially in elderly people. My "patient" went into sepsis and had to be on IV antibiotics (including Vancomycin) for four days. He then took another oral antibiotic (Cipro) for 12 days. By the end of that time, his hearing was practically gone! It has never come back.
This may not help your mother much, but the law has recently changed regarding hearing aids. In August, 2020, they will no longer have to be prescribed by a hearing aid professional and will be available over the counter. Even CVS, Walgreen's, and Costco will carry them! They won't be individualized, of course, but they will be far better than the amplifiers that are available today. You'll be able to adjust volume and range to better suit the situation. From what I understand, they will cost about $500.

Loss of hearing is debilitating and contributes to dementia. It’s worse to be deaf than it is to be blind. Deafness is isolating. My mother has hearing aids but insists that she hears better without them. She can’t hear a thing without them! It’s a little of everything that contributes to her inability to hear: dementia, auditory processing and even selective hearing.

I know of people with dementia who complain that they can no longer see--and this is verifiably so; yet ophalmologists and optometrists can find no vision problem. The problem is that the brain can no longer process what it sees--not that things can't be seen. The optic nerve is fine but the brain isn't working. A similar thing might be happening with your mother. The problem is not in the auditory organs per se but in the brain.

My mom says she can hear me talking but she can’t understand a thing I’ve said because it’s a big blur. That’s when I’m just trying to have a conversation with her and it’s because I talk too fast for her and just about anybody else in the world.

She sure can hear anything I don’t want her to hear even in the quietest whisper...

charK

Suggestion when you are speaking to her be face to face to face look at her and tell others to do the same talking to her behind her she probably can’t hear or if you’re trying to talk to her from another room to have a conversation face her speak up and say kind words

My mother did the same thing. It was finally determined that she she couldn’t understand what was being said or couldn’t think of a response that sometimes becomes their go to answer.

Your mother may benefit from "having someone to talk to" as it sounds like she has had some losses lately.the therapist ("a person she can talk to") should be able to help your mom with her losses (family moving out of the home?). She may not have experienced hearing loss but she may be experiencing confusion and she just might not be able to define it. Does she have a urinary tract infection? That can produce many symptoms, even hallucinations, in some cases. Random thought, does the refrigerator need to be replaced. Mine is getting old and makes a lot of noise. Anything like that in her house? Extra noise? Maybe your mom needs a pet (an older cat, maybe...I think a kitten would be too hard).

You may be able to get a social worker who can come right to your home. I'd call your County Area Agency on Aging and ask how to get a counselor who can come to the home.

So, no, I don't think your mom is taking. I'm guessing confusion. I'm a social worker from hospice; not a doctor.

Take to her your nearest Walmart. In the vision part of the store. In the store they sell hearing aids. Although she may be fine. Let them put a hearing aid on her and adjust the sound to where she can hear better. It may be nothing however that little bit of hearing aid maybe all she needs. They are cheap and good. She may not have a hearing problem. But this would help give you peace of mind and it won't hurt her.

My mom was in the hospital and they started her on lasix (water pills) then her hearing stopped. After reading about lasix I discovered it had sulfur in it and she has a reaction to sulfur. After notifying the doctor they changed her to a different water pill and her hearing suddenly came back.

My sister always says talk "low and slow" for hearing impaired, and it works. The slow part also helps with any slow processing.

Audiologist told me to always face her as she is really reading lips, even with the good hearing aids.

It is very hard to learn because the natural response is to raise your voice! (And when I raise my voice 'I' seem to think I am angry and feel frustrated so it has helped me to be more calm.

Dementia makes everything harder for her to understand. Sometimes it is not the hearing but the understanding.

My mom when she speaks sometimes has trouble getting words out. I now use a small white board and write answer choices out. If she sees the words she is able to read them clearly.
For your scenario try writing what you want to say on a white board it will make communication less stressful.

receptive aphasia

My Dh IS deaf and wears his hearing aids very well--but I still have to be in the same room as he is and make sure he is looking at me when I talk. Anything I say while my back is turned just doesn't register.

He's missed so much in life--I feel sorry for him. He cannot hear the high tones of our grandkids' voices and they aren't going to have deeper voices for a long time yet. I tell them to speak slower to papa--but he hates being treated like an old duffer. which he is not! But hearing is a very 'active' sense and he has to make an effort, too. Your mom may not be able.

The audiologist did tell him to clean his ears EVERYDAY and his aids everyday also. Wax buildup is fast and can completely stop the sounds from getting in the ear!

I am going to assume that her ears have been checked for wax build up. That is a VERY common problem.

next.
Try lowering the pitch of your voice and contrary to what you would think do not yell, yelling has a tendency to raise the pitch of the voice.
Look at your mom at eye level when talking to her. Let her see your face and read the expression you have that goes a long way in conveying what your words are saying.
Talk slowly, and distinctly, enunciate clearly.
I have read that it can take someone with dementia 30 to 40 seconds to hear then comprehend what was said and respond. In my world 45 seconds is a lifetime to wait for a reply. Give mom a bit of time to process your words.

Somewhere I read people with dementia take longer to respond, up to 45 seconds, and you should be careful not be repeat a question or direction too soon and interrupt their "processing" of the original question/direction. Too many interruptions and they can become so confused and frustrated they simply stop responding to much of anything.

Maybe you could speak up and make sure that you are articulating your words properly.

My hearing is fine but I deal with individuals that don't do the above and I can not hear them.

Lealonnie, your point about voice ranges is spot on.  My father had no trouble hearing me, or his male friends, but had difficult hearing women, especially soft spoken ones.

Interesting, I remember the first attorney I worked for told me that I should practice speaking louder, stronger and more forthright.   I thought it was for business communication purposes; now I wonder if he had some hearing deficit!

Lealonni's response is good. If an Audiologist did the test then I am surprised it wasn't caught. One thing they do is ask you to repeat words back to them. My DH does well with this but has a hard time when the words are strung in a sentence.

I like the lowering of your voice and looking at her. I would also make your sentence as short as possible and not give more than two choices. Because, Moms ability to process may be the problem. Your talking away and she is still trying to process the first word. So, if you need to know if she is ready to eat lunch, you want to say "lunch, are u ready?" Looking at her.

People with dementia can experience additional difficulties with their hearing, aside from those traditionally related to ageing. They may experience problems identifying what a sound is, or picking out one sound from another. As a result, it can be difficult for them to process and understand what they are hearing and communicate a response. This can lead to the person becoming withdrawn, as well as feelings of anxiety, frustration, confusion and distress.

Dementia can have an impact on the way a person interprets information, so their hearing may be fine, but they may find it difficult, or they may take longer, to work out what is being said to them. They may struggle to distinguish between multiple sounds or conversations. Loud or sudden noises may also startle or frighten them.

Speak to her in a deeper/lower tone of voice. Sometimes they have a hard time hearing high pitched sounds. Give it a try.........what have you got to lose? Make sure the background/room noise is at a MINIMUM also.........many people with dementia have a very hard time processing noise.

Good luck!