Mom has lived with my husband and me for 1 1/2 years. She is independent walking with a walker and takes herself to the bathroom and dresses herself. She wears disposable underwear and wets in them every night. I hate it that I can't convince her to shower and put on clean clothes once a week, but she becomes very irate when I bring it up. Her hair needs washing so bad, but she won't let me try to help her with her personal hygiene.

Many with dementia will not shower, it is not at all uncommon. They get very cold and the water striking their bodies often frightens and even hurts them. Maybe a bath instead or buy the bathing wipes. Something is better than nothing.
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Reply to gladimhere

Like gladimhere says, this is very common with dementia. Some can also develop a fear of water.

The wipes are good. Nuke them just a bit to get the chill off or she will fight you on that too.

Can you wash her hair in the sink?
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Reply to Segoline

It's really a tough thing. My LO also had an issue with it. The staff in her MC handled it fine. I'm not sure why they knew how to handle it. Some of the things that I have read around here include, getting the doctor to prescribe it, so she feels she must bathe, hire a bath aid Sometimes, a professional who works with dementia patients has better luck. Plus, the dementia patient often complies more with a non-family member. They can make sure the bathroom is warm, maybe play soothing music.

Before my LO went into AL, I insisted that she bathe before we left the house. She would always say that she had already bathed, but, it was not true, so, I would just run the sink with warm water, lather the wash clothe and hand it to her, all the while talking about good times and our plans for later that day. I I just wouldn't let her refuse. But, that might not work with everyone. I never did get her in the shower, though. She declined and had to go to AL.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1

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