Some of you may know my mom is out of town right now. She is currently at my sister's house and will be meeting up with my brother tomorrow who will take her to her cabin in PA where she plans to spend the summer. (I have serious doubts she will be able to stay all summer as my brother doesn't want all the extra hassle, but that's a post for a different day).
The doctor who did my mom's neuro-psych evaluation sent a letter to the DMV in Florida requesting a medical advisory review concerning her ability to drive safely. The letter came today so I picked it up. My mom had intended to have her mail forwarded to her cottage as she has done in previous years but apparently hadn't gotten around to it. No shock there and I was hoping to intercept this letter as I feel if she got it she would have thrown it away.
The letter has a fairly extensive medical questionnaire that she is required to give to her "personal physician" to be completed and returned within 45 days or her license is revoked.
After that the medical board reviews and issues their decision. In looking at the questionnaire I pretty much know my mom will not pass.
My mom is going to be so livid. I'm sure first thing will be hating me for "opening her mail", then she'll blame the doctor who did the neuro-psych eval. Then anyone else in her orbit. This driving thing is a HUGE, HUGE deal to her.
Do I try and take this form to the doctors myself, and not tell her? She's not here to do it herself. Plus I'm afraid if I send it to her she will find some clueless doctor in PA, showboat like hell and then ask that person to fill it out, denying that there is anything of importance in her Florida records.
I'm at a loss. She needs to stop driving, but she won't accept it and I guarantee I will feel her wrath directly. We got into it before she left because she refused to let me put a life alert system in place, even after I offered to pay. The charade of independence is STRONG, even though her deficits are obvious and real.
How do others deal with this?
My advice is this. Leave the letter in with all the other mail to be given to mother. She will likely throw it away. The beautiful thing is that 45 days will pass. License will be revoked, another letter will appear. By then, she will have no license. You can then have a family intervention and agreement that nobody assists her to "reclaim" the license. You can try to reason with her that she cannot insure vehicles if she has no valid license. By this point, you need to have a family plan on who is going to take her to medical appointments, grocery shopping, church, etc.
Best to you...
A police Officer in my town knew his Mom was not capable of driving. But state law says a Dementia person has to have an accident and it has to show that the Dementia was the cause. Really! So they kill someone in the meantime and that's OK. The States need laws to protect the rest of us. A car is a weapon used in the wrong hands.
Doctors need to step up to the plate and report that a patient should not be driving. As soon as a diagnosis is made of any Dementia, the license needs to be taken away. There were signs way before the diagnosis.
The best thing is to get the car off the property where she can't see it.
Now accidentally throwing keys behind refrigerator is another story
I personally took the completed
forms back to DMV, and Less then 8 days later sister received letter stating her license has been suspended.
Fortunately for us my sister just accepted it.... Actually I think she was somewhat relieved.
I do not think your moms Dr will fill final paperwork out without your mom having an appt.,
good luck