My mom who is 83 might be coming to live with me. Since being in a rehab facility, she’s been wetting the bed almost every night. Advice?

Uh, I'd rethink the entire 'living with you' situation right away. Or get used to the house reeking of urine along with the carpets and everything else she comes in contact with. Is it absolutely imperative that she live with you? What about Assisted Living??

Anyway, for the urine soaked garments, use a vinegar wash:

Mix one cup white vinegar to three cups water (1:3). Coat the urine-stained item with this solution and allow to sit for a few minutes.
Cover the stained area with baking soda, if you wish. ...
Wash the urine stained items in a washing machine set on cold or lukewarm water. ...
Air-dry the urine-stained items.

For the bed, purchase a plastic mattress cover and Medline Extrasorb chuck pads on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Medline-Extrasorbs-Drypad-Underpads-Permeable/dp/B07GYZNDY8/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=60PNIEXGYCJ6&keywords=medline+extrasorbs+ap+30x36&qid=1582245028&sprefix=xtrasorbs%2Caps%2C1615&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzVTdVSlhHQU1NUUlIJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNzc1OTI4MVM1WTNSSlU1V0xHMiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNDY3MTgzMlhNU0lXQUI0RFdRNyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

She will need to wear Depends to go to sleep and you can also buy doubler pads to insert into the brief to soak up extra urine.

Good luck

Odoban works really well to get urine and fecal smells out. You can spray it on before washing or add it to the laundry machine like you would do with bleach.

Alternatively, you could go to a pet store and buy something used to clean up after dogs and cats. The enzymes work for human accidents, too.

I second Lealonnie’s idea of the mattress cover and lots of disposable pads/chucks to put everywhere she sits or lays. Good luck.

Vinegar and double rinse

You can purchase waterproof pads for the bed. I would buy a waterproof mattress pad, then medical companies supply waterproof incontinence pads that are small and easy to wash. They sell them on amazon. In addition, absorbent diapers for bedtime provides additional protection.

Call HDIS for home delivered incontinence supplies; I bet they will have some answers. Is it too late for you to say "no" to her coming?
Is she willing/wearing protective undies? If not then you'll want to protect your furniture as well. For that check out Crypton fabric but make sure it has the moisture barrier. Often sold at Jo Ann. Used in hospitals/hotels because the surface is washable and it won't go through to padding. You can have slipcovers made.
My mother's sheets were stained, not with urine, and I washed that and some clothing with persil and no scrubbing and it came out clean!
Sometimes you might have to just trash something. Also, I think it was the Vermont General Store, that carried a half slip that had a moisture barrier so no leaks...and I'm sure others will tell you about the bedpads that are washable and some disposable...you just want to do layers so that you don't have to rip a whole bed apart every time...

PS...Since this seems to have started in rehab, maybe it is stress from the environment? Drug reaction? Maybe it will ease up once she's out of there?

Nlight diapers. Bed size pee pads. Throwaways or buy reusable you can wash. Mattress pad with plastic built in underneath.

If she is definitely coming to live with you, do this-
Remove carpet from her room and replace with LVP.
NO THROW RUGS
Get her a lift chair that is vinyl upholstered.
Hospital bed and bedside commode.
Hoyer lift
Use a waterproof mattress cover, then a chuck pad and then fitted sheet on top of that. Buy plenty of sheets.
She needs to be wearing adult diapers.
I'd have her spending most of her time in her room if she is peeing everywhere or else your house and furniture are going to end up smelling like urine.
Prevent, not mitigate

If your mom has funds for care then you should rethink your decision to be her carer. It’s a monumental uphill task and needs just become greater. Better to have her live in a caring facility and you keep your sanity than have to move her later when needs are too great and you are burnt out.

Either you are unusually sensitive to the odour of urine, or you are not washing the laundry at a high enough temperature, or there is something wrong with your mother's urine.

Urine from a healthy urinary tract is not especially smelly, or not until it's been left lying around the place for a while anyway; and a biological detergent + a good hot laundry cycle + in-wash disinfectant should leave bedlinen perfectly fresh.

What do you think of the care your mother has received so far at this rehab facility? If they can't even keep her dry and comfortable at night it doesn't sound promising...

I had the same issue before I read on the forum about white vinegar. I add white vinegar to the warm wash cycle using the bleach dispenser and everything comes out smelling fine - clothes, bedding, and washable pads. I also include white vinegar in the carpet cleaning solution and the bathroom mop water. You can smell the vinegar for a while during cleaning, but it dissipates leaving the normal cleaning solution smells.

Baking soda. Does she wear depends?

anything with urine cannot sit in a hamper. We keep a wash tub or bucket full of water with some white vinegar and soak until we have a load. (Vinegar doesn’t need to say it’s for cleaning—they charge more for that!) To wash, we add white vinegar and oxy clean and/or washing soda. Let them soak once the washer is full of water.

Borax powder for clothes, I just posted that on another question. I found that tip here on the forum and it works! I had tried everything and borax was the only thing that worked. The instructions were to add 1/2 cup to the laundry with your detergent but I always used at least a full cup. Try it, it really does work.

Make sure the bed she’ll be sleeping on has a waterproof sheet under the regular sheet. Buy several good ones so you can swap them out when wash the bedding.

You can buy room air cleaners, machines with filters that help. You can also buy charcoal pouches that you can toss under her bed or anywhere she might have an accident. If she wears adult diapers, buy good ones and make sure they fit properly. Don’t let her sit on anything that isn’t completely covered in plastic first.

Is she mobile and can she toilet herself during the day? Make sure you understand the extent of her needs before you undertake her care. I cared for both of my folks for several years before they died and their deaths were nothing but a huge relief for me. As much as I loved them, I’ve never grieved a day for them. Caring for an elderly parent can and will suck the life out of you, no matter how much you love them.

Check with your washing machine manufacturer before using vinegar. Some parts do not tolerate vinegar. That said, I love using vinegar in the laundry, but not so much around the house (the smell bothers dh and causes him to become agitated). Our issue was a cat that sprayed and I found Nok Out to be the one product that finally did the job. You have to buy it online. It also goes by the name SNiPER, I think the only difference is the second one is listed as hospital strength.

Have them check for a UTI. It is not often, but when Mom, 90 yrs old, has that trouble it is because of a UTI. She doesn't complain of burning or pain either just frequency, cloudy, and stronger smell.

I used disposable adult diapers.(Certainty from Walgreens) for my mom along with Tena pads (#7) Overnight and Ultimate along with disposable liners (Certainty Extra-Long) from Walgreens. It cut down on laundry.
Now she is bed bound and I use the Tena pads and disposable liners with a pad underneath the liners. I do not use disposable diapers any more. They were causing sores and UTI's.This is how the hospitals do it. Plus I give her cranberry juice to drink (Langerbury Cranberry Juice Plus). Vitamin C also helps prevent UTI. And drink water.

I see you say she might be coming to live with you. If she is not safe to live alone, if there are any other options, that would be better. Just because she is your mother, does not mean her care has to become your job. Urine may be be the only thing she cannot manage on her own. And the whole process of managing all that and whatever else she needs would be very intense.

My sister uses Perisil for her adult son and it works great!

My Mother has LBD doesn’t get up all night, And sits mostly all day in her recliner. If she tells me she has to go pee it’s usually number 2.
I was using Depends with an inner liner didn’t work, I have found the answer haven’t had a wet bed In 6 months, I use amfincontinence.com. I get my mom
Abena Abra-Flex Premuim Protective Underwear Level 3.
and Abena Abri-Form Comfort Brief Adult Diaper Plastic Backed level 4.
the underwear will last all day unless she has a bowel movement. And that is not using the bathroom all day. At night I use the diaper and cover them with the underwear, to make sure they stay secure. In the morning I just remove the diaper. I keep scissors in the bathroom to cut the diaper off. Trying to pull the blue tabs doesn’t really work out to good. Thy cost more than depends but they work.
they also have recurring shipments.
and the shipping is fast.

Mom wets bed every night. I have found a few things work.
1. Get and start washing the wet things AS SOON AS SHE GETS UP. Mom gives me a bad time about getting the nightie, but time = smell.
2. I rinse soiled items with a cup of white vinegar (buy the store brand in big jug) then wash in warm water with Tide. Others have favorite detergents but Tide works for me.
3. Whenever possible, I put sheets, bed pads, nighties, etc. outside to dry. Sunshine is a natural disinfectant and leaves smelling good. I run those items in dryer on "fluff" cycle with dryer balls to soften.
Sounds like a lot of work. It is, but you develop a routine.

GOOD luck and if you learn something, pass it on.

Consider looking at the problem like having an Adult Baby. Put a liner on the mattress and let her wear Adult Diapers at night.

There are many things out there to help with urine smell like Clrox Urine Remover or putting Vinegar in your wash, ect.

Bleach them. That’s what I use on undergarments. Also I buy puppy training pads xxl, put them under sheet with a towel on top of sheet where she’s sleeping. Be prepared and ready to do extra laundry. Best of luck.

I use Of Odoban with my detergent
Wax melts in the bedroom, behind a stand on the windowsill.
Put a towel under the sheet with "puppy pad". To protect the mattress & pad.
Vinyl flooring is great, but I also surround the bed with towels that I wash daily.
It's a challenge.
God bless.
Also, getting a rubber sheet is on my "to do" list

'''''''''''Washable 32 x 36 and large pads are available from Betty Mills 800 238-8964. Good luck.

On a related note, I noticed our bath towels were seeming as bit musty so I started a few months ago with a simple laundry hack: (I use it for any laundry that needs a de-odorizing.)
After loading the clothes I start the washer, without soap, but add about 1/3-1/2 box of baking soda and about 1/2 cup plain white vinegar. Once the water starts filling, I pause the cycle and let the items soak. When I’m ready to start the cycle again ( usually a few hours or longer) I add the regular detergent and complete the cycle. I also skip fabric softener.
The clothes DO NOT smell of vinegar at all after drying but it really freshens them up. Hope this helps.

Arm & Hammer Plus OxiClean Odor Blasters Liquid Laundry Detergent ... Works wonders!!!! Clean up things everyday. Depends and diapers...pads on bed. Change everyday!

I also use :
HME Medical Washable Quilted Incontinence Underpads, Moderate Absorbency, Colored, 34" x 36"
I found these on Walmart website. They are the exact ones they use where I leave my Mother for Respite. They come in different packs I got the pack of 3.

You might want to toilet her every 2 hours while awake. Limit liquids after 6 pm. Talk to Dr to see if a script such as ditropan would help. In addition to the other suggestions.

If mom has large amounts of urine, you can place a plastic shower curtain on the bed. I put a sheet over it so it is never next to the skin. Pad the bed with puppy pads or washable incontinence pads. Make sure to use depends at night.

Always check mom's skin for diaper rash. Toileting her every 2-3 hours while awake and cleaning skin well after changing depends will help.

If her urine smells "strong": make sure she is getting enough water (2 liters a day of fluids), does not have a UTI, and always wipes bottom from front to back. Antibiotics and other medications will tend to give urine an odor.

We do similar things in hospitals. Yup, I'm an RN.