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Hi all! What’s your opinion please? Thanks in advance for any advice!


I just arranged for my Mom to have 24-hour live-in carers (several people taking shifts).


We have 2 options, regarding nighttime: My Mom sleeps with an adult diaper. She urinates during the night, every night. Isn’t that dangerous? It can lead to UTIs, etc. Or my Mom can ask the night shift to walk her to the bathroom. It would be twice a night, every night.

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Does your mom use a toilet in the daytime or go in her pull-ups?
Does she basically leak out but not wake up during the night?

Everyone is different I suppose but my DH aunt has been wearing pull-ups for about five years now. She has had one UTI that actually tested positive that I am aware of. She has no control day or night. She was not changed at night until recently when she moved to facility care. She is bedfast and her skin is still in good shape. She will be 96 next week.

My mom used a bedside commode and was up four times a night on her own. She wore a pull-up 24/7 in case of accidents but didn’t go into her pull-ups except when she stood up and that toward the end. She took fluid pills so had to be up and down. I don’t know how she did it. She never had a bedsore and was about 92 when she had to start with the Lasix. She did have a UTI during her last illness.

However you decide, I would try to make sure they have at least a four hour window to sleep. In other words I wouldn’t wake her up to go pee. If she wakes up and wants help to the bathroom, that’s a different thing. Perhaps a baby monitor for the aide to listen for her call? Sleep is so important for all of us. I know there have been big discussions on the forum about patients needing to be changed every two hours. I think I would decide based on the condition of her skin and her track record. My LOs were not prone to being ill aside from the obvious. Both good water drinkers. If she is in good shape, I wouldn’t be as worried. Use a good barrier cream. When she gets older or her skin is wearing thin, more frequent changes might be in order.

Verystressedout, I am glad you are getting more help. You and your mom deserve it. Wishing you both better days And nights. Hugs
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If she is not incontinent and can still make it to the bathroom with help, I would opt for the caregivers to take her to the bathroom during the night especially since she only goes twice a night. But if she will still pee in her diaper( I hope you're calling them her underwear)after getting up twice you may just want to let her and the caregivers sleep.
As long as someone is changing her regularly and cleaning her properly, she shouldn't have to worry about a UTI.
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The only problem with night time toileting is how would you feel about being woken from a deep sleep on someone elses schedule?
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Thanks a lot!

To make things clearer:

My Mom doesn’t leak. She just needs to go to the bathroom at night. But it’s not safe for her to get up and walk alone. She mustn’t walk alone. Even using a commode alone is too dangerous.

For this reason she wears adult diapers at night. She wants the caregivers to be able to sleep.

During the day, no adult diapers. The caregivers help her walk to the bathroom.

I was concerned about her skin at night. But I see some people have no skin problems.
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Can her fluid intake be reduced as the evening progresses? This is probably already being done but she should try to urinate just before going to bed or asleep.

My mother is in SN and immobile. She is mainly on a catheter due to a bedsore. I have given up on knowing all that goes on with her incontinence briefs. I am updated on the catheter and bedsore issues. I feel much better about her present facility so I ask less. I was concerning myself about showers.and now just accept what they are doing. She doesn't smell bad when I visit. Besides the bedsore she also developed drop foot in the previous facility. All of this makes showering more difficult. She is also on round the clock pain medication. Sorry to have digressed. I think your mother should be left to sleep with briefs being changed first thing in the morning.
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Does mom wake when she has to go to the bathroom? If so then she can have a caregiver walk her to the bathroom, or get a bedside commode and the caregiver can empty it after she uses it. (safer than walking down the hall if she is groggy.)
If she does not wake then the incontinence underwear is doing it's job. changing when she wakes or first think in the morning should be fine. If she is not mobile or becomes immobile then using a tab brief (aka diaper) and changing her in bed is something a caregiver can do.
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We used night time depends and changed her every 3-4 hours as well as turning her. I used Desitin cream for her peri area, Yes it can contribute to a UTI. I would not walk her to the bathroom at night, but you can place a commode at her bedside and assist her at night. I still think it is best to turn and change her every 3-4 hours at night. Safer for both of you.
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If there's a designated caregiver to assist her during the night can't someone help her to the bathroom? Twice a night isn't an unreasonable request. That's what the caregiver is being paid for
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