My mom is in the final days of life. Does anyone else feel if I only had done something differently, I could have saved them?

All that you are thinking and feeling is normal. Sounds like you did all you could and did a great job. Be kind to yourself.

90 is a long life.

Im sorry about your mom. You did everything right and please don't question yourself. If you hadn't cared for her so well she might have passed away years ago. Prayers&Hugs

Once my mother got into the later stages of dementia, I prayed for God to take her. I would do nothing to "save" her or to extend her misery on earth for one more day of agitation of wanting to see her deceased parents and siblings. I was relieved when the day came that she did pass. While it's very hard to watcha loved one transition, know that your mom is on her way to perfect peace and a new existence free from pain and suffering. We are the ones left with grief and suffering. Please don't add guilt to your plate.

I’m sorry you’re walking through this with your mom. I’ve been there and remember the pain and sadness. Please know that nothing you did or didn’t do would change the natural course of sickness, decline, and passing away from this life. Your mother has lived a long life and it’s simply the time her body can take no more. She has been blessed by your love and care. I wish you both peace

Hi Vickie
Deep breaths today. There are many mysteries and unknowns in life but whether you cared for your mom is not one of them. You chose to see her through these her last days and it was your gift to her and to yourself.
Yes, I believe whenever we find ourselves managing anyone’s care, we are constantly searching for what else we can do, what tasks were forgotten. That might take awhile for your mind to settle as you anticipate moms departure.
Breath in. Let her know you are with her. Let her feel your presence. That will be enough. Be gentle with yourself. We all die regardless of the best meds or doctors or good intentions.
Finally we all put the struggle away.
It is very ambitious of us to think we can cheat death regardless of what one more thing we might have offered. It comes for us all at some point.
We are with you Vickie as you say goodbye to your mom. Big hugs.

Vickie, I’m sorry your mom is dying. You have been a good daughter and have taken care of them, and they were well looked after. It’s time for your mom to rest and be restored. I know you will miss her. HUGS

I am sorry you are feeling there is something you could have done to change the outcome of life. You have loved, cared, and now you'll mourn for your mom. I am sorry your mom is transitioning in the next step of life. Hugs to you, It's hard, but you've only done good.

These are normal feelings in times of hopelessness and helplessness. But I do know you recognize that in end of life, not everything can be fixed. You aren't a Saint or a God and to think you are omnipotent is a kind of hubris. You didn't create your mom's illnesses and you couldn't have fixed them. I know you understand that. We always look for something or someone to blame as it is easier than just walking through the grief and loss. I am so sorry for your pain. There is nothing but time to heal these things.

Your Mother has lived a long life.
I imagine full of joyous times but also illness. This is how we humans are. She has a caring & loving family. In time I hope you can re-phase in your own way & connect with the good memories. I don't wish to minimise the heavy weight of grief now, just acknowledge lighter times are ahead.

<(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))