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She is also a long time prescription opiate addict which complicates things.

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Your profile says Mom is broke. Is she on Medicaid? If not, get the application process started immediately. For an unmarried person with no assets it is not a very complicated application. Whatever help you find will cost money, so get this ball rolling immediately.

Arrange a needs assessment for her. In our family we set that up with the county Human Services department for our mother. I understand that you may also be able to set that up through the Area Agency on Aging. Be present when the assessment is made. Sometimes people exaggerate their abilities and you need to be there to ensure accuracy.

Once the level of need is established, the assessor will be able to suggest resources to get those needs met.
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ToskaBlue1957 Oct 23, 2018
Thank you so much for your reply. It is proving to be helpful.

I have recently applied for Medicaid but the wheels of the government move slowly, as we know. I am on Medicaid myself so I offered to do it all for her. There's no way she could have done it herself.

When you say needs assessment, would this include cognitive abilities as well?

Another thing I don't know is where I stand as her daughter regarding her finances and health. She's not making good decisions and I sometimes run into roadblocks with people protecting her rights...HIPPA, etc.
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Click on the "Find Help" located on the Blue Ribbon at the top of this website and type in the location of your Mom: _____________.  Or click on the "Find Care & Housing" or "Get FREE Help" boxes on the RIGHT side of the webpage of your posting.  This website can offer all types of care based on your Mom's ability to perform her own ADLs and IADLs.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/activities-of-daily-living-why-this-measure-matters-186853.htm

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/activities-of-daily-living-defined-427356.htm

ADL (Activities of Daily Living/Self-Care) https://www.sageminder.com/Portals/0/pdf/ADLforweb.pdf?ver=2016-06-27-134001-457

IADL (Instrumental Activities of Daily Living/Measures of Independence) https://www.sageminder.com/Portals/0/pdf/Assessment%20of%20IADLs1.pdf?ver=2016-06-27-134001-457

Also talk to the local Agency on Aging to see if they have any suggestions.
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ToskaBlue1957 Oct 23, 2018
Hi DeeAnna, are you affiliated with Aging Care.
One of my huge concerns is her addiction to opiates. She will freak out in a facility that manages her Vicodin. She takes it when she wants, how she wants, and has for years. She told me sister that she would welcome an overdose rather than live in pain. This is so sad, especially since her pain is random phantom pain, not chronic. She will take a Vicodin for a hangnail, no lie, instead of a couple Advil. Yet she argues that SHE IS NOT an addict. My sister and I are at a loss as to how to deal with it, because there's no sense in putting her through withdrawal at 85 yrs. old.
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I'm so sorry, ToskaBlue. Bumping up and hopefully others will have some suggestions for you.

Are you living with her? Might she be better cared for in a facility? It sounds as though her needs are beyond one person's ability to take care of.
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ToskaBlue1957 Oct 23, 2018
Thank you SnoopyLove. She lives alone in an independent living/retirement community. She may be able to hang out there a little longer. The worst that could happen is that she would fall and have to lay there for a while because she virtually has no friends that check on her. She does have an aide that comes in 3 days a week, but I think Mom needs more than that. I can't be there all the time. I have my own life to live as well.

Regardless, I am looking into the availability of assisted living homes in the area and also their cost. Even if it's for future reference.

It's really sad, knowing that it will never get any better than this, in fact, it will only get worse.
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