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My son lives with her. He’s at his wit’s end.

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What type of home are you trying to get her admitted to? Does she have private funds to pay or is she applying for some state or federal funds? It's my understanding that nursing homes are for those who need skilled nursing care. If not, you may need Assisted Living or Memory Care. Most states have standardized forms that have to be completed by a professional, like doctor or long term care nurse that list what the person needs assistance with, like, bathing, walking, eating, taking medication, etc. The key is to make sure the person filling out the form gets the true picture of what is going on. Some patients misreport their abilities, so, it seems they don't need care.

If your family is not able to continue to care for her, I'd consult with an Elder Law attorney, social worker or other professional to see what options there are for her placement.
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I think you need to be more straightforward with the Dr.

Dr. is aware she has dementia, you have the biggest step taken. Maybe he/she is expecting the family to step up with the big question :"Should we move to mom to a home?" I know my dr would wait on the family to bring it up. Some drs feel it is too reaching to suggest anything, simply make the dx and let the family hash it out.

Getting the dx is the hard part. Kind of going through this with my mom, she's good to outfox the dr but as soon as you walk out the door she can't remember your name.
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Welp, maybe not up to the doctor?
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Get a second opinion.
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