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She's been getting worse, literally BY THE DAY, that there are people, or a person, hiding in our backyard, or near our wall, and WON'T take my answer that, NO, there's no one there (even after she's concerned me enough that I've gone out with one of my two FIREARMS) only to find that she's imagined the whole thing!!! Today, JUST TODAY, she's alerted me FOUR TIMES already!!!! What can I do? HOW can I deal with THIS? WHAT do I say to her aside from already going out to "look" for these imagined intruders (again, FOUR times just today!)??? Please help me!!!

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Half joking - tell her they aren’t intruders - that they are the new security guards helping keep the area safer, when she says there’s one - look out and say “oh that’s Jim, he’s one of the guards mum”. If she persists that they are hiding rather than security just tell her you’ve asked them to check for any security issues....

Might take time to work, but worth a shot if you’ll pardon the pun !
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lotsokittycats Sep 19, 2019
Good idea... thanks!
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lotsokittycats, have your Mom's doctor check her for an Urinary Tract Infection. Such an infection in older people can cause hallucinations. These infections can be controlled with antibiotics.
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lotsokittycats Sep 19, 2019
I'll make an appointment for her, but she has an appointment coming up with her neurologist. Can HE order one?
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My 90 year-old Dad thought people were coming into his room and taking things, I installed a inexpensive security camera to "catch anyone." Of course no one was entering his room, but he thought he was now back in control of the security of his room. I'd place a camera outside and tell her the police had a direct link and were constantly monitoring the yard for her. If they saw anything, they'd send someone out immediately. Yes, it's stretching the truth, but if it works for her, it's a easy fix and one that doesn't have to take you outside. I hope the suggestion helps.
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lealonnie1 Sep 19, 2019
That is a GREAT idea!
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Get her checked for a UTI. Don't wait until next week, UTI's can become septic then you have additional problems to deal with. Take her to a 24 hour clinic. Or Call neurologist or her primary doctor to ask to have one ordered. Having results in hand will help with next week's appointment.
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lotsokittycats Sep 20, 2019
Thank you!!! DONE!
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Please don't argue with her. It wont help. Try to be as understanding as possible, show concern and let her know all is OK outside. Redirect to other things when these things occur. Trying to convince her what she is seeing is not real will only agitate. Please have a Doctor consult. Lewy Body Dementia or UTI could be the culprit. Main thing is, don't panic and don't get angry. If she wants to go to Egypt, in her mind, go with her. I know it is stressful observing someone you love behave this way. Good luck to you.
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Aricept sometimes works for paranoid delusions, but not always. Speak to her doctor about possible medications to help. In the absence of infection, it can be difficult to deal with this type of behavior on a regular basis. Don't argue with your mom as that will only lead to agitation. Try distracting her or changing the subject. If these delusions occur in the evenings, perhaps get her on a bathing schedule to coordinate with the time she struggles. Something, anything, that will divert her attention away from what she honestly believes is happening. Always try comforting her as she may just need reassurance that all is well. Have you tried letting her hold a baby doll when she gets upset? Many women calm down immediately when they see their "baby" who needs to be rocked, changed or swaddled. It may be worth a try.
Good luck!
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lotsokittycats Sep 19, 2019
Unfortunately, she reports these "intrusions" straying in the morning through the afternoon. She ended up (that day) reporting the same thing SIX TIMES TOTAL!
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My mother has always been what people used to describe as "high strung". After retirement, she relocated back to the state she was born. After years of working at least 2 jobs, going to church, some functions with ex-coworkers and shopping (she was an avid coupon-er before it became a thing), she slowly but surely stopped doing everything she enjoyed and cut herself off socially except for close family that had to come to her. Because of what her "normal" behavior had always been, some signs that should've been a red flag that something else was going  on were missed. She started constantly complaining about the thermostat for her central air & heat wasn't working. I had a constant crew of techs coming in to check the unit, only to be told everything was fine (it was the only way to get her to temporarily stop the complaining). Fast forward to this year where, during one of our daily phone calls, she tells me that a truck/car was flashing its headlights while at the intersection of her house and "moving the thermostat up/down". I was stunned and thought (prayed) I'd heard wrong. When I finally blurted out "Uh, what??", she repeated it. It became a mantra every day, all day & night! I had a security system installed in her home that came with a thermostat that could be viewed & controlled remotely, so I could see via the app that she would be up all night moving the thermostat up & down, and phone calls to me overnight was part of it. Trying to explain that that wasn't possible only lead to her getting mad, declaring I didn't love her, why would she lie, screaming and hanging up on me. At first trying to redirect the conversation would help (talking about my daughter or her small young grandnieces & nephews would have her laughing and the call would end on a good note). But after awhile, that no longer worked and she'd call me back within minutes with the headlights story. This summer, with temperatures in NC in the mid-90s and heat indexes of 105+ degrees, she literally ripped the thermostat off the wall and refused to leave her house when it reached over 90 inside. I had to have her taken to the hospital under an involuntary hold where she was eventually diagnosed with dementia with a psychotic break. All of that to say, what your mom is experiencing isn't going stop, it's going to get worse without medical intervention. While it's inconvenient to you, it's mentally tormenting your mom. Speak to her doctor about it immediately and, like some others have suggested, have her checked for an UTI as well. I wish the best for the both of you!
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lotsokittycats Sep 20, 2019
Thank you!!!
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I would simply answer this obsession with "OK, Mom, I will go check." Then do go and do some chores and return when some time has passed, and reassure her that you checked everything and nothing is there. Hopefully this particular obsession will pass quickly.
It is the guns that worry me.
I am assuming they are safely stored out of Mom's realm of knowledge and out of her reach.
I must watch too much true crime and listen to too many podcasts, because this would freak me out!
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lotsokittycats Sep 19, 2019
YES! She CAN'T get to either one of them, but THANKS for the reminder!
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My Mother had lewy body, and hallucinated all the time. Mostly auditory. I couldn't convince her they weren't real, to her they were very real. And sometimes frightening. The Dr put her on risperidone, and she calmed down and the hallucinations went away.
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lotsokittycats Sep 20, 2019
Thank you!!!
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Your mother has dementia, and is at the paranoia stage. You may want to have her checked for a urinary track infection -- this sudden change can also be brought on by a UTI. Same thing happened with my mother. Be glad your mother calls you and not the police. Her paranoia could get bad enough that she starts to see you as the enemy, truly. Be prepared! If your mother starts calling the police, Adult Protective Services will be called in, then the "fun" really begins. They will expect you to solve everything in a very short amount of time -- as though anyone is prepared for this sort of thing! I would try to get someone to be with your mother during the day--a caregiver. She needs company to take her mind off of her situation, because she is frightened, rational or not. Fair warning: this is only the beginning -- your mother has dementia. It will get worse...start googling everything you can about dementia and its stages--you will want to know so you can stay sane. Blessings to you.
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lotsokittycats Sep 20, 2019
Thank you!!! And, YES, it's virtually ALL that I read about, since she began to decline exponentially since early this year and, fear not, I am her full-time caregiver and I'm with her ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT (and I monitor her at night via baby monitor, which is so sensitive, I can hear her EVERY BREATH!
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