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She's been getting worse, literally BY THE DAY, that there are people, or a person, hiding in our backyard, or near our wall, and WON'T take my answer that, NO, there's no one there (even after she's concerned me enough that I've gone out with one of my two FIREARMS) only to find that she's imagined the whole thing!!! Today, JUST TODAY, she's alerted me FOUR TIMES already!!!! What can I do? HOW can I deal with THIS? WHAT do I say to her aside from already going out to "look" for these imagined intruders (again, FOUR times just today!)??? Please help me!!!

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I was thinking. You could get a motion detector light for the backyard. And if it never goes off, everything ok Riiiiight? :)
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!
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Babs, I'm so glad you've got him settled!
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Babs75 Sep 2019
And I'm staying away for now! He needs to work with the caregivers to get settled. I see from their online notes that he attended one of the exercise classes today and that he took their bus to church (it goes to HIS church!) My husband and I went to his house and trimmed the shrubs by the front door to keep it so you can see if someone is hiding out and I took financial stuff out of the house that could be a problem if someone was to break in and I took all of the pill bottles out of there too. He doesn't live in the best neighborhood. I will probably wait and go see him at the end of the week. He needs to settle in.
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lotsokittycats: You're very welcome.
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My dad was just discharged from the hospital because of dehydration that caused him to think that people were outside to get him/kill him. He was very paranoid 5 days ago. He was not released to go home because they said his dehydration will probably happen again. After some IV"s and good food in the hospital he is actually cheery! He is at his first day of assisted living today. He thinks he is only going for a few days but he is mistaken. I have also been told by 2 different social workers not to let him go back home. He needs to setting into the facility. We have one of his caregiver's there for the next week for several hours a day to help him get acquainted.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you! I'm with mom 24/7/365 (since 2006) so, thankfully, I won't need to place her anywhere for the foreseeable future.
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First of all if possible, take a deep breath. The hallucinations your mother is experiencing are real to her so your telling her they're not is not going to solve the problem. Validating her fears and then distracting her is most likely the best approach. However, since these hallucinations are agitating her and causing her mental discomfort, I would suggest a visit with a geriatric psychiatrist who can evaluate her and prescribe medications to address the hallucinations and help both of you.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you! I've got another appointment with her neurologist on the 9th of October and I will make sure to speak with him BEFORE she comes into the room! And, YES.... based on your and all of the earlier responses, I've just been going with the flow in regard to NOT disagreeing with her when she comes to me with her hallucination/s. I appreciate everyone's advice, including yours, Peanuts56!!!
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She may have a uterine infection. Can cause hallucinations. Take her to the doctor.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
YES, thank you! I've already contacted her PCP based upon prior advice, including yours! I appreciate your having taken your time to advise me!
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Medication check is in order. Many meds can manifest into hallucinogenic thoughts and ideology.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!
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I love some of the creative examples people have offered of ways to converse with your mother within her own reality!

I hope you are finding some useful strategies here. We are all wishing you the best!
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
YES, I have ABSOLUTELY taken everyone's advice and things have already gotten better with the changes I'VE made to my responses to her and her hallucinations! I can't tell you, AND EVERYONE ELSE, just HOW MUCH I've appreciated ALL of your help and advice!!! God bless you ALL!!!
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My dad has spent the last 5 days in the hospital because he thought people were outside and they were going to kill him. After some tests, and a number of IV's he is back to normal and it is determined that he was dehydrated. The hospital won't release him to go home and we have arrangements made to move him to an assisted living. Everyone is hugely supportive that is helping with this 'project' and I have been told he will do just fine once he is there.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!
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You might want to remove mirrors in the house. I've heard of people who pass a mirror and see 'a person', but their mind does not recognize the person as herself. For the outside 'intruders', you might just go along with it - yes, the telephone people said they were going to be in/out of the yard for the next few weeks to check equipment. You might also take her to the dr and ask for urine test. Very often an infection can cause exactly what you've described.

When you say she alerted you - does that mean you are in the home w/her or she is calling you at a different location. If you're there, try to change conversation or agree and give reason they 'intruders' are there. If you're not there, she may no longer be able to live alone.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you! And, YES, I've been living here WITH HER since 2006, but I've only HAD to start really taking care of her for the last two years and especially more so for the last year, but her hallucinations have only started within the last month or so. And, YES, she's going for a test to make sure she doesn't have an UTI, or ANY OTHER infection on Monday. Once again, thank YOU, and EVERYONE ELSE, for caring enough to have taken time out of their/your day to advise and encourage me!!! God bless you ALL!!!
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A man in our Alz support group would agree with his wife when she saw things and give them a benign explanation. She said No, THAT'S NOT OUR NEIGHBORS BY THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR. HE'D said Let me take another look, oh yeah, I remember, they're having company today, that's their company.
A woman's husband said he couldn't use the bathroom because of the people in it. His wife went in and politely but loudly told "them" they would have to leave now, Paul needed the bathroom, then accompanied them to the door with "have a nice day"and other cordialities, then shut the door behind them and said OK honey, it's all yours.
Have not had that problem with my spouse but if it arises I will try to be as ingenious as they were, take their advice and never argue and try to come up with great explanations for what he thinks he's seeing.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thanks!
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Well it kinda like your young son thinks there is a monster under the bed. You know there isn't, but you check just to make him more comfortable. She lives alone? She is probably really lonely and her mind is working overtime. Can you find things that keep her busy (making quilts, etc) or more people to visit her? With my mother-in-law we advised her to talk to the person and see what they want. This is a normal stage and it does pass.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
I live with her (since 2005 BEFORE she was showing much, if any signs). She began quite slowly over these past several years then accelerated at an alarming rate around the beginning of this year.
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You need to go into her world. Talk to her as if this Is Real because it is, to her. Someone in the backyard would be alarming. Reassure her you are going to take this serious in believing her. Maybe tell her you talked to them and its people just keep looking for their cat. It will take time and practice with different approaches.

Next Watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. She is an expert speaker working with dementia patients. Search for her videos on working with hallucinating patients. Watch all her videos they are the best help!

Check with her pharmacist to make sure this is not from new meds or med related.

Distract by seeing if she can help in the house with folding towels etc, dusting etc

Best of luck, now go watch Teepa!😊
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
That was the very thing I did (look her up on YouTube) even before I finished reading your response! Thank you SO MUCH for giving me that tip/resource!!!
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I have had to deal with my mother's hallucinations for a year and a half. We now believe it is Lewy Body Dementia. Her delusions seemed to come on fairly suddenly too. She is not on meds at this point but I am hoping we can try something once we meet with a neurologist that deals with dementia patients in two weeks. (Finding the right doctor has been a journey, and we live in a big city.) We have been to several doctors trying to figure this out. My mother is able to take care of herself, does all the Activities of Daily Living, even drives, but has these delusions that never go away. Sometimes they are easier to live with than other times, She has had mild UTI's along the way and we usually get her checked when she gets even more agitated than usual. So definitely follow up on that. The number one rule: join her in her reality. It truly is her reality. Trying to talk her out of it will just frustrate you both. Believe me, I did that too and learned the hard way. They just become more agitated. Reassure her in whatever way you can that works. It may be trial and error and require creativity on your part! Use a calm reassuring voice. You may have to follow her lead in what seems to calm her fears or concerns. Distraction works well too. For meds, apparently there are some but they work for some people and not for others. And for Lewy Body dementia - certain anti-psychotics can be dangerous. I think the ones mentioned by others here are safe but the doctor should know best and what is good for the elderly. My sympathies to you. It is tough to live in "crazy world" all the time. It can try your patience for sure. It sounds like you are taking good care of your mom!
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Getkicksonrte66 Sep 2019
Totally agree on safety of certain meds. I was besides myself when I read up on Zyprexa and dementia.
I believe there’s even a black box warning, however I’ve now had 2 psychiatrists and a neuropsyche doctor keep my LO on that medication with full knowledge of warning. Ya have to wonder sometimes what’s the lesser of two evils.
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Please watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. They will help you.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Yes, thanks!!!
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My LO was diagnosed schizoaffective, with vascular dementia a couple years ago.
She too has delusions, and was in psychosis, and she’d tell me about 3 men that were around her house.
Literally so so many different stories such as that.
Finally I got her to a mental health crisis center, and the Psychiatrist asked her if she wanted to come back to reality. My LO said yes so the Dr placed her on an Anti-Psychotic medication Risperdone.
Within days she came out of her delusions.
Eventually I got her to a Neurologist he prescribed dementia medication Namenda, and eventually added Ariceft and I finally got her to a permanent psychiatrist Dr who immediately took her off the anti-psychotic Risperdone that the earlier crisis psychiatrist placed her on. The new psyche Dr placed her on Trileptal for mood stabilization as well as an anti depressant medicine Lexapro and she was semi ok for about a year but then stopped taking her meds, or would just screw up her pill box.
To make a very long long story short she ended up once again in a constant deluded state from October to July, I couldn’t get the psychiatrist to place her back on a anti psychotic medication but instead he filled out lengthy paperwork stating she needed to be placed in a 24-7 secured facility.
She fell in June and broke her hip, she was so out of her mind, fortunately the hospital psychiatrist placed her on the anti psychotic medication Zyprexa and there was a wonderful Social Worker at the hospital who understood what was going too so a few days after hip surgery she was sent to a nursing home for Long Term Custodial Care, and rehab in the hip.
While there she was evaluated by a Neuropsych Dr., and then a few days later a Psychiatrist came in to also evaluate her. Both Dr’s stated she has Lack Of Capacity, and is now living in a Skilled Nursing Facility on there Residential side. She will never be able to live alone again, and I personally believe because she was left in such a psychotic state for so long that this in itself did some additional permanent damage.
Her dementia is getting much worse too and shes been in the nursing home for almost 3 months now, and has not once asked me about her home, her stuff or her cat not anything! It’s very sad, but I’m relieved she is safe and getting the level of care she needs.
My LO is only 67 years old.
So if I have any advice for you I’d say get her to a Dr to get the necessary medication to get her out of her deluded state, that’s of course if she doesn’t just have a UTI. Obviously It would be better if she just has a UTI.

One thing I used to say to my LO when she’d tell me crazy things like men are outside her home is that it must be frightening for her to feel unsafe., and then just assure her that you believe that she believes that ppl are outside but you are protecting her.
But don’t say mom there’s nobody out there.
Cuz trust me you’ll never get her to believe you. These are fixed beliefs in her mind and nothing you say will take them away.
Best to redirect her thoughts to something else .. like Mom it’s Tuesday ice cream day are you ready for your ice cream cone.
Anyway, good luck to you.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!!!
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Please don't argue with her. It wont help. Try to be as understanding as possible, show concern and let her know all is OK outside. Redirect to other things when these things occur. Trying to convince her what she is seeing is not real will only agitate. Please have a Doctor consult. Lewy Body Dementia or UTI could be the culprit. Main thing is, don't panic and don't get angry. If she wants to go to Egypt, in her mind, go with her. I know it is stressful observing someone you love behave this way. Good luck to you.
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Install a motion detector. That can be both a safety device and if it doesn't come on, then where is the intruder? It could be a branch blowing in the wind as well. My neighbor's motion detector comes on all of the time when the wind picks up and the branches of the tree move, triggering it. Also, it has acted as a great safety precaution against prowlers, real and imagined!
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Agree with getting a test for UTI and discussing that or medication with her doctors. You could start with a home test if they can't get her tested right away, but they should be able to send orders to a lab to have the test done without seeing her in their office first as a precaution. UTIs present odd behavior often.

Agree also that you really cannot convince her that these are hallucinations. To her they are real. I do like MountainMoose's solution - play along with the 'game', or DareDiffer's suggestion that they are security you hired to keep people out of the yard. Inconvenient as it might be, going out to "check" and "shoo" them away when she says they are there might work too. Sounds like this is daytime, which would be easier than at night! If you can use something else as a "weapon", not the guns, it might reinforce that you are "handling" the intruders. Whatever works (arguing, explaining, trying to convince her with words is the least likely to work.)
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!!!
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You tell her physician - they have medicine that will help. Also, if Mom is on Benadryl - I had to take my DH off it because it causes hallucinations. Again, you call her physician about the hallucination.
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So much great advise here--I strenuously agree to take her to her doc or urgent care for a UTI test immediately. Then talk with her doc or specialist about her medicine or if it's her disease causing the hallucinations and how to help your mother.

One thing that helped with my mom was I pretended the hallucinations were real. Actually it was rather fun. If Mom saw a strange woman in the kitchen I asked Mom if the woman had Mom's permission to in her home. "No." I would go into the kitchen and loudly (for Mom's benefit) order her out of the house, that she didn't have Mom's permission to be here, then "escort" the woman out the back door and make a show of locking all the locks. Mom was satisfied and calm and immediately forgot all about it. Once Mom awoke with chickens in her room. I rounded them all up and "put" them in their coop. She was satisfied and went back to sleep.
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deborahparlett Sep 2019
Do the same with my mother. I even ask her the names of the people that came to visit and sometimes she is just remembering back 80 years ago.
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As Kathy4147 says, don't try to convince your mother that her perceptions are not true. Try asking her questions about these hiding people as though they are real. "What do you think the hiding people want to do?" "Do you think the hiding people need something?" She is at an apprehensive stage of life, but her Dementia is distorting how she is able to express her fears. Maybe her answers to questions will give you a clue about what she is really afraid of.
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First of all, stop trying to convince your mother things are not what she sees. These hallucinations are as real to her as reality is to you. These hallucinations are a very huge part of dementia and while you don't say your mom has been diagnosed with it, she definitely has some sort of dementia. You should talk to her doctor about this and see if there are any medications that will reduce her hallucinations. Don't waste your time and breath trying to convince her she is not seeing things.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!!! And, YES, she HAS been diagnosed but not with any "specific kind" of dementia or Alzheimer's.
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My mother has always been what people used to describe as "high strung". After retirement, she relocated back to the state she was born. After years of working at least 2 jobs, going to church, some functions with ex-coworkers and shopping (she was an avid coupon-er before it became a thing), she slowly but surely stopped doing everything she enjoyed and cut herself off socially except for close family that had to come to her. Because of what her "normal" behavior had always been, some signs that should've been a red flag that something else was going  on were missed. She started constantly complaining about the thermostat for her central air & heat wasn't working. I had a constant crew of techs coming in to check the unit, only to be told everything was fine (it was the only way to get her to temporarily stop the complaining). Fast forward to this year where, during one of our daily phone calls, she tells me that a truck/car was flashing its headlights while at the intersection of her house and "moving the thermostat up/down". I was stunned and thought (prayed) I'd heard wrong. When I finally blurted out "Uh, what??", she repeated it. It became a mantra every day, all day & night! I had a security system installed in her home that came with a thermostat that could be viewed & controlled remotely, so I could see via the app that she would be up all night moving the thermostat up & down, and phone calls to me overnight was part of it. Trying to explain that that wasn't possible only lead to her getting mad, declaring I didn't love her, why would she lie, screaming and hanging up on me. At first trying to redirect the conversation would help (talking about my daughter or her small young grandnieces & nephews would have her laughing and the call would end on a good note). But after awhile, that no longer worked and she'd call me back within minutes with the headlights story. This summer, with temperatures in NC in the mid-90s and heat indexes of 105+ degrees, she literally ripped the thermostat off the wall and refused to leave her house when it reached over 90 inside. I had to have her taken to the hospital under an involuntary hold where she was eventually diagnosed with dementia with a psychotic break. All of that to say, what your mom is experiencing isn't going stop, it's going to get worse without medical intervention. While it's inconvenient to you, it's mentally tormenting your mom. Speak to her doctor about it immediately and, like some others have suggested, have her checked for an UTI as well. I wish the best for the both of you!
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!!!
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My 93 year old dad is in the hospital for the very same thing. Monday night -- people outside, group of them, wanting to kill him. He still lives on his own and I have wanted to move him for a while now so he will not be going home. I am working on AL or memory care and we are telling him that his house is not safe for him.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!!! And good luck, prays got you, AND him!!!
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Please have your mom evaluated by a doctor. Many things can cause hallucinations: medications, infections, poor circulation, poor oxygenation, stroke, and memories of the past "appearing real".

My Gram, who lived to 98, had hallucinations when she had UTIs and once when she visited me in Colorado and her oxygenation was poor.

Until you can find and deal with the cause:

1 - try distracting her with another activity

2 - reassure her that you are "on guard" and won't let anybody or anything hurt her.

3 - realize that she is getting into a thought "do loop" where her mind keeps running along the same thought lines over and over and over again. When Gram got into these thought "do loops" about a family rift in the way distant past, I would acknowledge the sadness of this happening and change the subject.

4 - Make sure she has plenty of lights in the evening. As the sun goes down, being tired in the evenings and shadows may appear to be scary things which may be the reason for "Sun Downer's Syndrome"
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!!!
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Hallucinations are common with some types of dementia. You mention Alzheimer's it is possible to have more than one type of dementia or it is possible that the Alzheimer's diagnosis is a "catch-all".
That said other things can cause hallucinations.
UT
Medications
Double check with the pharmacy about medication interactions
Have her checked for a UTI

I do hope you have the firearms locked and in a location where she can't get to them. NEVER underestimate what a person with dementia can do when they get it in their head to do something. Even if you think she can't get to where you keep the firearms put another level of security in place. (Gun locked in safe..safe kept in closet...you should also lock the closet)

By the way if she is seeing movement outside it might or might not be a hallucination, she might be seeing branches move, squirrels running around gathering nuts, large birds. Keep drapes or blinds closed.
Change lights inside to LED's that are brighter and have a more white light.
You could also put up security lights outside so that IF anyone or thing is in the back yard a light will come on to illuminate the yard.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!!! And YES, rest assured that she ABSOLUTELY cannot gain access to my firearms!!!
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Have her tested for a UTI now. Do not wait til next week. You can take her to urgent care if she can’t get into her primary. If it’s due to an infection you don’t want to wait and it’s so easily treated. You can give her an over the counter Azo test as a preliminary but you’ll still need to have a dr prescribe an antibiotic when they do the culture.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!!! WILL DO!!!
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Your mother has dementia, and is at the paranoia stage. You may want to have her checked for a urinary track infection -- this sudden change can also be brought on by a UTI. Same thing happened with my mother. Be glad your mother calls you and not the police. Her paranoia could get bad enough that she starts to see you as the enemy, truly. Be prepared! If your mother starts calling the police, Adult Protective Services will be called in, then the "fun" really begins. They will expect you to solve everything in a very short amount of time -- as though anyone is prepared for this sort of thing! I would try to get someone to be with your mother during the day--a caregiver. She needs company to take her mind off of her situation, because she is frightened, rational or not. Fair warning: this is only the beginning -- your mother has dementia. It will get worse...start googling everything you can about dementia and its stages--you will want to know so you can stay sane. Blessings to you.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!!! And, YES, it's virtually ALL that I read about, since she began to decline exponentially since early this year and, fear not, I am her full-time caregiver and I'm with her ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT (and I monitor her at night via baby monitor, which is so sensitive, I can hear her EVERY BREATH!
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Does your mother have vision problems from macular degeneration? Some elderly with severe macular degeneration have visual hallucinations from Charles Smollete’s syndrome. The hallucinations become more frequent as there is progression of the syndrome. My mother had this for about six years before she died. My MIL who lives with me has had three or four in the last month. She has early macular degeneration.
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lotsokittycats Sep 2019
Thank you!!! I took her to her vision specialist about 2-3 months ago but I'll make another appointment on Monday JUST to be SURE nothing's changed!
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