Have you tried to convince her that a bath or shower would be so refreshing?
Probably will need to be sneaky with the clothes, taking them when she's sleeping, wash and return.
I had to tell my dad that his odor was repulsive before he would take a shower, hardest thing I have ever had to say but nothing else worked and he was causing my whole house to stink.
Now he showers regularly and has all kinds of scented body washes, good brushes for feet and soft clothes for everything else. Hard to know what will cause a shift, keep trying anything until you have success.
This is fairly common with dimentia. You can try getting her to use no rinse soaps and just do a little wipe down. As for washing clothes, just throw a load in and put them back in her drawers.
Looking back, fear of anything to do with water an early sign of my Moms dementia. She was doing her laundry just fine, until one day she was afraid of doing something wrong with the washer. No idea what started that fear, and even with nice big written instructions I made, it was too much for her. So I started doing her laundry at her house for her once a week. Can she tell you why she doesn’t want to launder? The fresh air thing may just be an excuse to cover her fear of the washer and making a mistake?
And there’s countless people on this forum who can’t get their LOs to bathe. Again, I think it’s the fear of the water, the coldness of the shower, fear of falling. Have you tried addressing those fears? Can you help her get it done so she’s more comfortable and feels safe? It was a struggle when mom had a daily caregiver, but they were very professional and she caved in. I gave up on a daily shower, just wanted 2X a week, finally I was happy with a once a week shower plus washing up “down there” daily at the sink. Now in the nursing home, it’s still a huge deal on her shower day, and I have to thank her aid profusely when it’s over. She heats up the shower room, keeps her warm after, immediately dresses her, and even blow dries her hair before coming out...but still I can her mom griping (yelling?) all the way up the hall when it’s over. Fun times.
Probably will need to be sneaky with the clothes, taking them when she's sleeping, wash and return.
I had to tell my dad that his odor was repulsive before he would take a shower, hardest thing I have ever had to say but nothing else worked and he was causing my whole house to stink.
Now he showers regularly and has all kinds of scented body washes, good brushes for feet and soft clothes for everything else. Hard to know what will cause a shift, keep trying anything until you have success.
Best of luck!
And there’s countless people on this forum who can’t get their LOs to bathe. Again, I think it’s the fear of the water, the coldness of the shower, fear of falling. Have you tried addressing those fears? Can you help her get it done so she’s more comfortable and feels safe? It was a struggle when mom had a daily caregiver, but they were very professional and she caved in. I gave up on a daily shower, just wanted 2X a week, finally I was happy with a once a week shower plus washing up “down there” daily at the sink. Now in the nursing home, it’s still a huge deal on her shower day, and I have to thank her aid profusely when it’s over. She heats up the shower room, keeps her warm after, immediately dresses her, and even blow dries her hair before coming out...but still I can her mom griping (yelling?) all the way up the hall when it’s over. Fun times.