My mom, 86, fell and is now in rehab. Any advice?

A fall.
You are in the *crises stage* now.
Breathe. Ensure you eat, sleep, exercise if you can.

The future will be revealed slowly.

Note that *Delerium* can happen to the elderly. When unwell, injured, under stress, in crises, in hospital. Delirium differs from dementia & can lift.

One day at a time is good advice.

PS Tears are quite ok. I think of them as little gems of adjustment. Shed them as you need. (((Hugs)))

I am so sorry. I hope you will try to take this a day at a time. As an RN we OFTEN saw confusion, almost a hospital induced psychosis, when elderly patients entered into care. It is a terrible shock to their system along with whatever illness brought them into care. For most, a return to their own environment has them back to their normal status quickly enough. But only time will tell. For now, try to take things a day at a time and don't try to jump too far ahead.

Again, I am so sorry. Get rest and care for yourself so you can endure.

The nurses have seen it over & over again. Your Mom needs full time monitoring and one person cannot do it all. Get help to put her in the right place for her, and check all funding resources!zYou’ve reached the no-longer-tenable stage. Best of luck & empathy from someone who’s been there!

My mother broke two hips and went through hospital, rehab, and then nursing care (all in two months). I decided to take her out of nursing care because she was declining mentally; not eating much and losing weight, too. She either would not or could not cooperate with the rehabilitation-exercises, and what not. The only fear I had for bringing her home was learning to change her diaper. So. I overcame the fear and decided to bring her home. The doctor and nurses must have thought I was incompetent as they tried to talk me out of it, practically. Then they said she was not safe at home which I had trouble believing since she would not step her foot out of bed. Anyhow, after some persistence they allowed her to come home on Hospice so they could basically oversee her safety and the doctor would feel comfortable (lol!). She has been here for 5 months and all is well except the normal decline of dementia. She doesnt get out of bed and I can change a diaper! She eats very well now for her age and condition. Although it is exhausting and I have had to hire part time help it is working out and we are saving thousands monthly with this situation. Plus, she is happier at home--and off most of the meds they had her on! (Sometimes I wonder about the medical establishment!) Anyhow, I thought Id share our story if it would help. God bless you in your day to day journey.

So sorry. You are right..a living nightmare indeed. My mom just jumped from a Stage 3 to stage 6 Lewy Body after/during her 30 days in hospital then rehab. She had delirium, then exaggerated dementia . 80 days later she has been getting worse on a daily basis.. We are no longer allowing any hospital stays or rehabs again. Hospice status is being looked at to avoid hospital admissions. I am exhausted. Good Luck.

I am glad you asked this question. The answers are very helpful and probably predictive for my mom’s situation. The hospice plan is what I would choose for my mom due to her extreme fearfulness of change and that just breaks my heart. She was a very caring compassionate woman and to see her fearful and anxious is what prompted me to get her a private caregiver 4 hours a day every day. They have bonded and initially mom didn’t like it but I asked her to do it for me, please try. She trusts me and did try and in a few days she was used to having a cheerful face seeing her 1-5 p.m. Sometimes I think she likes Mona more than me! Lol. Seriously, it was good to have company for mom and someone to help her with “daily tasks”. Eating, brushing, showers, lotions, hair, walking, warm compresses on her eyes, talking/reading to mom or watching Golden Girls on TV. Mom will never get better but she has someone for the journey.

I’m so sorry to hear this. You have a lot on your plate. It is so hard to see a beloved parent like this. No advice but thinking of you.

I cannot offer any advice, just to say falls will happen.
My husband has Parkinson’s and falls are more frequent. Recent one was terrifying, I just turn around to get him some water, few seconds, he fell backwards and cracked his skull. Imagine blood on white tiles, everywhere and so much I panicked, Luckily only few stitches were needed, but, reality is I know there is nothing to prevent falls 100% and staggering number of people fall everyday and die. Common with PD, that and choking which is more with disease advancing. I have to accept it, he is almost never alone, but, it takes only seconds.

Are you able to hire a caregiver to help with her care while she is in rehab? I had to do that for my daddy and it gave me relief and peace.

Yes, it is common for our elders to become confused and have increased dementia in a strange place. Her sundowning may be worse too. You can speak with the care team about a mild med for anxiety. Be careful that she is not over medicated. Feel free to speak up if the meds are too strong.

Forget about help from your sister and do what needs to be done.

If mom has no fractures she needs to be at least moved to a wheelchair and be out and about.

Most important please take care of yourself. This is a very hard time for you!
Thank you for caring so about your mom..

Hi, so sorry to hear about your mom’s fall. I can tell you I have been through the same thing with my mother - she fell and broke her arm and was in two rehabs and the hospital. I experienced the same kind of confusion and phone calls with her. Come to find out she was on some pain medication that was causing this confusion… Norco. Check to see what drugs they are giving her for her pain sometimes that has something to do with it. Also, my mother had a UTI and that definitely affects the cognitive abilities so have them check her urine.

I know it’s not easy but hang in there. I did also find that my mindset affected her mindset. In other words, if I was calm, she was calm. It is an overwhelming situation, but it will get better. My mom is now more herself, and we are planning on getting her home as soon as she is able to. Much luck to you.