My MIL is in her last stages of cancer. How can I be a support to my husband as he grieves?

I’m so sorry. I was close to my MIL at the end too, after a less than loving relationship for years. We’d just gotten close and then she passed.

Let your husband dictate what he needs. Let him cry and talk about her. Just listen. He may turn inward for a while, but don’t take it personally. Just be there for each other.
(((Hugs)))

Your husband will show you how he needs you. Just listen and care like you always have.

I'm so sorry for you and your husband's loss.

Just be there for him, and allow him to talk. Just listen. Sometimes he will be angry and even yell at you which is part of the grieving process until acceptance so you must be patient and do not take things personally. Remember it's easier to be angry than to cry. Expect a lot of anger and guilt..but it's part of the grieving process and is normal. That's really the best thing you can do for your loved one--just be there and *listen*.
Elisabeth Kubler Ross's five stages of grief is very true
https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

Thank you all very much. My mother in love left this earth a few days ago. She is in no more pain. I feel happy for her but I'm still so sad. I miss her so much and wish she had the opportunity to enjoy her first grandbabies. They are twins at that. She loved them so much and always talked how she prayed to get better to help us and watch the babies she was so excited. That's what breaks my heart the most.

She was such a loving and giving selfless person. Though caregiving had its moments where I wanted to throw in the towel I wouldn't replace that time for the world. It was our gift to her. I'm happy she is no longer suffering but she left this world so young, just a few days after her 49th birthday. I'm glad with got to celebrate with her. It was like she was telling us goodbye. I did tell her things while her eyes were closed but now I think I wanted to tell her loads more of how much I love her.

My husband is doing pretty well for the most part. Yes there are tears and heartache. He loved his mom so much. We all have our moments but at this time I think I'm actually taking it the worse. I keep thinking about what could've been. I wish I could tell her more of how much she meant to me. Losing a mother at any age is tough but I feel she was so young. I thank you for your prayers. This is hard.

Good advice from Ahmijoy. There are no magic wands. Just be there. You are allowed to cry too, so he knows that you care as well.

My dad just passed away and my beloved is even more devastated than I am. I just try to listen and remind him how much joy he brought my dad these last few years. We had an informal memorial service, just a gathering at my sister's house with lots of food and family, where my dad's kids and my sweetie all gave little speeches about the things we loved about my dad and that helped us all a lot.

One thing I've thought a lot as all the remembrances have poured in about my dad from his former students and friends, is why don't we celebrate a person while they are still here to enjoy it?

While your MIL is still here, word has it that she can hear you and may be conscious of you even if she seems unconscious. This is an important time for your husband and you to say anything that you feel is still unsaid, maybe even write something down so you can tell your MIL how much you love her while she can still hear it. Peace and hugs to you and your husband during this time, you are supporting him just by being there.

Do your best to be there for him. It will be hard on you too. My husband has recently lost both a younger brother & younger sister to cancer both in their early-mid 50’s. He is the 2nd oldest of 6 and they also lost their eldest bother to complications from an accident 20 years ago. If has been like being in a fog for the last 3 years for both of us. Being there for each other is how you will work through it and hopefully be strong on the other side. Reach out to others for support, your friends can be your strength when you need support. Take time for yourselves, we all move forward at our own pace, don’t let anyone tell you that it’s going to get better and it’s time to get back to your old lives. Your old lives are over because there is a piece missing and you need time to be the new you and find your new normal. Missing that person will always be there, yes some days it won’t be a big a hole as others and there will be times when the loss and memory will knock you over. You are strong enough to walk through those days and together you will have your best support team.

I don’t know anyone who handles death well. There is no right way to grieve. Whatever works for the individual is what works. Short of violence to yourself or others.

My condolences to you and your husband. It sounds like at this point, there is only hugging and kissing and caring and reminiscing. Just caring and loving at this point there is nothing else you can “do”. May her pain end soon; not that I wish anymore pain on any of you, I hope you understand. God bless & much love & hugs

Let our Lord, thy God comfort you in this time of need.

John 14:1-4 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”

Praying for you at most difficult of times.

Have you been invoked with hospice? They were great at helping my mother with the grieving process. It’s really different for everyone, partially depends on how prepared or at peace you are with their illness’s resolution. My mother was in total denial about my stepfather and they helped her. They had a grief counselor. If you haven’t contacted them, you still could