My MIL has dementia. She has constant problems with her hearing aids. Claims they don't work.They work fine. What do I do?

Call the assisted living staff. Ask them to take out her hearing aides and remove them from her room. Ask them to bring her original hearing aides back in a few minutes and put in her "new" hearing aides. Also check with her doctor to see if she would benefit from anti-anxiety medications.

Bighouse: Present this issue to her audiologist and/or ENT,

We bought “top of the line, very expensive” hearing aids for Papa (with his money) - they didn’t work, the battery needed changed, etc. etc. Every day we were messing with this stupid things. He would have them torn apart when we got there, but couldn’t put the new batteries and filters in because of big clumsy fingers and Parkinson’s. Every day. The hearing tech that came to the house said those supplies were meant to last a long time and he was replacing them weekly.

We all finally just gave up. He couldn’t get it. He couldn’t hear. We were exhausted. $7000 hearing aids just sat in the box while we continued to scream at him. Lewy Body Dementia was the big disconnect. The hearing aids and all the parts were fine, his brain wasn’t.

At some point, you just may have to give up. For your own sanity.

If she has used hearing aids for a while so is used to them and wants to use them which sounds like might be the case the two, three things I would look into are getting her tested for processing so you know what your dealing with, ear wax and getting rechargeable hearing aids so batteries aren’t an issue. The staff that takes them out at night can put them in the charger. I agree that you want to be careful about letting her get into a pattern off calling you for help every day so doing all of these things at once and then just saying “ they must not have gotten enough charge last night you will have to try again tomorrow” or something instead of trying to fix it in person immediately might help nip the behavior in the bud.

My mom has the same issues but with other electronic devices since she doesn’t need hearing aids. It’s the dementia.

Like your mom, she claims they don’t work, removes the batteries, puts them back in backwards, loses the batteries, and so on. I get them working again and before you know it she has taken it apart to “fix” it or replace the batteries.

If I ask her why she would replace brand new batteries that were working the day before as clearly that wasn’t the issue she realizes that doesn’t make sense and gets embarrassed but she also says it wasn’t working and she was trying to fix it. Then she asks for a new one or if I fix it she asks what I did. I tell her “Whatever you do don’t open it up because it will only make it worse” but it goes in one ear and out the other.

She can’t come to terms with the fact that the problem is with her and not the devices. She constantly asks for a new cell phone despite having a brand new iPhone and a new iPad as well because “this one is old and doesn’t work” even though it works fine. Same with the cable box. She takes all the wires apart and then wants a new one. Sometimes she loses the components so even I can’t help her. I tell her to call the cable company and bless them they usually fix it for her.

At some point when she kept taking things apart I stopped fixing them for her. She got mad for awhile but eventually asked nicely me to help her so I did. However, when she inevitably takes them apart I do so on my own time. I have noticed that things seem to be breaking less often as a result because she knows she will just be without until I feel like helping so she is less inclined to fiddle.

Thought my step-mother was getting hard of hearing took her to an audiologist, slight loss in one ear.

He recognized that she had dementia said "Don't waste your money" she won't be able to mange them, her issue is processing not hearing".

That ended that, and he was right.

After purchasing three pairs of hearing aids for my husband with dementia and he still complained about not being able to hear. Interestingly, he could hear sometimes and not hear other times. Finally, I gave up and quit dealing with the hearing aid issue. I told the Memory Care staff to not worry about his hearing. It saved everyone a lot of grief.

She will continue to respond / react as she is.
She needs something to focus on... in her mind, a puzzle to solve, a need to assert 'something is wrong... fix it.' A way to get attention.

Refocus her attention with photos - things that do not require hearing.

Do not continue to answer the phone. You are the carrot on the stick. She wants your attention and she wants to hear as she thinks she should be able to. Which she likely won't as hearing aids are not 100% or do not 100% restore hearing as it was before hearing aids were needed.

Try to either spend more quality time with her (not quantity ... answering the phone all the time) and re-directing her as much as possible. Or if possible, hire a caregiver to spend time with her, or get a volunteer (church, neighbor?)

I believe this is a call for attention. Lovingly set limits and redirect.

Gena / Touch Matters

https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/cochlear-implants

Perhaps there is a solution in this article about Cochlear implants.

Great answers here. Here's another suggestion: Write out a Certificate Of Completion - a course in hearing aid adjustments - for YOURSELF and make it look super official. Then place it in a location where she can see it. Everyday before you give her the hearing aids, make up a routine that looks like an 'official' check of the HAs and give them to her. Later, point out that you have been certified to adjust HAs and that they are working fine. At least it'll save you some trips to the doctor's office until the real the annual 'check-up' visit.

When I first saw your question, I asked my husband if he wrote this. But in all seriousness, we are dealing with the exact same situation with my mother. She had hearing aids for 5+ years, never wore them saying she has no feeling in her left hand to put in/take them out. We were tired of everyone talking loudly, loud TV & everything, so she had her hearing checked again after 2 years. Again profound hearing loss which increased, no earwax buildup (they check each time), yet she says the HA doesn’t work the very next day, or she has a squelch sound in the right ear. I’ve lost track how many times we’ve seen the audiologist to adjust them, etc. She returns in a week to him for yet another hearing test and adjustment. I’ll bet it’s the same and he will adjust, and then we start the cycle again. But no more, as she does have dementia and everything with her is repetitive and she is so forgetful now. And I’ve now read the great responses to your question. So I truly believe where you are coming from, and please do not drop everything for every single beckoning item she wants. My sister and I have learned from all of this, and more “cry wolf” issues from mom in the past several years. Please consider to not always give in, let the AL staff take care of her and take care of YOU! Sending well wishes to you.

As others have said, w/dementia no matter how many times you review or help your LO with the hearing aids, she will not remember and will continue calling/asking for help or new "ear plugs." Sadly, this will never improve. It may be best to just let the staff at AL help, and when she calls do not jump to answer each time nor try to go over to walk through what to do again and again. This is "Sisyphean." If necessary, just have a calming chat, "the AL staff said they helped you and that is great and quickly switch topics to something she likes to hear about DIVERT the conversation.

My mom has similar issues with her cell phone. Has been in a SNF long term care facility for almost 3 years, has dementia, can't locomotive, and has a host of other medical/psychological problems. She routinely calls, saying her cell phone does not work and she needs a new one. She keeps putting it in airplane mode, turns off WiFi or turns the volume way down or something else. I just leave a message saying, "glad to hear the staff helped you" and basically ignore it all. The aides at the SFN try to help when they can but this pattering will only continue and get worse. I and many others had to block her, as she'd call all hours of the night (has nights and days totally mixed up).

Why have a cell phone at all? It is like a security blanket, so helps w/keeping her calm. And she likes (can still remember how) to scroll through the pictures on the phone. At some point, she'll forget how to do that too and at some point taking the phone away may be best.

Same may go for the hearing aides, at some point they may just not be useful and may be causing more confusion and stress.

Best of luck with this, this is NOT at all easy. Frankly, it is all maddening.

Definitely check for a build-up of earwax.

You are correct, it is a " processing" and , I would add a retention issue, both S/ S of her " dementia" . She will not remember what you tell her as short term memory is affected by dementia. Processing, following directions, also affected by dementia.
I would confer with the audiologist or hearing aid specialist and her PCP to get a consensus on options going forward. It is only anxiety provoking to everyone to continue with the current situation; no matter how many times you explain the batteries etc, she will not remember; and, she will not remember that she has called you so she keeps calling....

Practice good self care !

There is a time that the person hears but 5he brain does not process. Some audiologists have a machine that measures that processing. But if she is struggling with batteries it might be best to not use them and switch her to an amplification device or keep it ready to switch

Your MIL's brain is broken. Of course she can't figure out how to use her hearing aides.
You could spend 5 hours with her trying to teach and show her what to do and within minutes she will forget.
You may have to accept that she won't be able to wear them, and you all will just have to talk loud.
Losing the ability to comprehend is very common with folks that have dementia, so you are going to have to pick your battles with your MIL. I'm not sure this one is worth fighting.

Get her self charging aides. No need for batteries. I have to agree that Dementia probably has to do with her hearing. I am surprised that she can take the audiology test. I would have her looked at for wax build up. There maybe nothing that can be done.

I noticed my Mom was always walking to her left. You would place her in the middle of a sidewalk and she would vear to her left. After testing to rule out a stroke her Neurologist felt that the loss of her peripheral vision was caused by her Dementia. The brain is literally dying and as the Dementia hits the part of the brain that controls hearing, sight, taste and smell, those senses are no more. The first sign of Dementia is the loss of smell.

Yes--recent studies are saying hearing loss is a risk factor for dementia, and the brain loss with dementia affects hearing and interpretation.
My mom can hear well one day and not so well another, so I'm with you. I think she has days where it's hard for her to process.

People who wear HAs often have problems with ear wax, has anyone checked that?

You may be right about having a processing issue. In that case, maybe you should talk to her doctor about it to find out if there’s anything to be done.

My LO’s doctor advises that he needs the best hearing aids money can buy. That’s partly because dementia is closely linked to hearing issues, and I’m sure that’s true. What doctor didn’t mention was what to do if the brain is unable to process the signals coming into it from the ears.

I’m inclined to think that if they can’t process, there’s no point in wearing hearing aids. If you find out, please post and let us know.