My husband’s memory is terrible. He forgets his glasses, hat, keys you name it. He misses appointments, has to rebook. Am I being paranoid?


He is 65. He often thinks I said something his way when in fact I said it a different way. He has in the past made inappropriate comments in public which has mortified me. He used to be a good car parker but now his spacial awareness is not good in that respect. There are a few things - I can’t put my finger on it but he acts in a very similar way to my mum when she had early symptoms of Alzheimer’s. Do you think it is anything to worry about or am I being paranoid?

Find Care & Housing


make the appointment for him at the dr office
then write a letter explaining his symptoms and your concerns so you don't have to "say" the real reason in front of your spouse. hand deliver(or mail) the letter ahead of time.
be prepared the day of the appointment so that your husband is not doing other things that day.
then explain somehow: the doctors office called and said "they would like to see you because they haven't checked you blood pressure or had labs in a year...time for a yearly physical"

maybe its not dementia, maybe theres another cause?
Helpful Answer (12)
Reply to wally003

Nope. You're not being paranoid.

There are *treatable* conditions that can result in dementia-like symptoms -- prescription meds imbalances, untreated diabetes (that was me, pre-diagnosis), lifestyle changes, stress, sleep deprivation, depression (the list goes on ...).

He DOES need to be evaluated. Hopefully, his issues are treatable. If not, then you can start making realistic plans.

Best Vibes, and fingers crossed!
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to Confounded

No, you are not being paranoid. I recommend you ask his PCP for a referral to a neurologist to do a cognitive test and determine his condition. If it's Alz, the medication can help slow down the progression.

If it's not Alz, then he needs to rely on a calendar or phone or todo list to help him remember his appointments. As for other lost items, there are there are small trackers you can attach to the items he often misplaces, these trackers then can be tracked using a smart phone. Amazon sells these and they are not expensive.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to polarbear

Hi Els1el- do you think you can convince him to see the doctor so that YOUR mind can be put at ease? So that YOU won't worry so much? Would he do it for YOU? to alleviate your concern?
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to polarbear

Funny story. I thought I was getting early onset dementia today. I had serious problems remembering words and just felt foggy. Then I remembered that I'm trying to get off caffeine and switched over to decaffeinated coffee a couple of days ago. So I drank a cup of coffee and all is well. Got to titrate off drugs slowly.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to needtowashhair

confounded, very good list. I’m certain that my mom leaving her diabetes 2 untreated (she was diagnosed, did not take the meds or change lifestyle) is where her dementia was fostered. And as wally said, write the doctor’s office a letter, and ask them to call and tell him he’s due for an appt. With the forgetful, that seems to work well, it did for my mom.  Good luck, you can get this going!
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Zdarov

Thanks Wally. I’ll try that and see what happens.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Els1eL

He definitely needs to be checked out. Mini-strokes can also do this without showing definite stroke signs.
You can also have a silent heart attack which could affect the brain.
There really are too many "options" that could be the cause so only a complete checkup will let you know what you're dealing with. Even the wrong medication could have severe side-effects.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to RayLinStephens

My Mom did the same thing. I called the Drs office explained what was going on and wrote them a letter with my concerns. I told them my Mom didn’t want to make an appointment so I made one and had the Drs office call her as if she made it. That at least gave us a starting point.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Eyeopener

You are not paranoid but it is also very hard to get someone to agree to see a doctor for those reasons. ALZ is a big ugly word to most people and it is scary!
Hopefully you can convince him to check it out.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Val3rie

See All Answers