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He is incontinent and refuses to wear under garments. He won't even wear underwear. He just goes in his jeans. If it is urine he won't even change. He says it will dry off. If it is feces he will change but gets it all over. We have asked him to help us by at least wearing underwear & he refuses. Any suggestions?

If your husband won't listen to you about wearing Depends and continues to give you a hard time, then it's probably time to have him placed in the appropriate facility here he will be made to wear his adult diapers and where he won't have the opportunity to get his poop all over the place.
You should NOT have to live under those conditions. PERIOD, end of sentence.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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You can’t let him destroy your house.
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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Your profile says your husband was/is an alcoholic. He brought this illness on to himself, with no care about how his addiction would ever affect you.

Therefore, you should apply for Medicaid for him, and put him in a facility, then go on to live the rest of your life in peace.

Or, you can report him to APS and tell then you aren't his PoA and that he's won't cooperate with the care you are trying to provide for him. They will hopefully remove him from your home and get him a court-assigned legal guardian. You will be allowed to stay in your house.

Other resources:

Social services for your county

Your local Area Agency on Aging

Your local Senior Center

Call 2-1-1 to be directed to appropriate resources

Explore Care.com if you need to hire in-home aids.
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Reply to Geaton777
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I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, it sounds exhausting. With Wernicke-Korsakoff, reasoning often doesn’t work the way we’d hope, so refusal isn’t really stubbornness. Some families have luck with pull-on incontinence wear that look more like underwear or athletic shorts, and framing it as “for comfort” rather than “for hygiene.” Waterproof pads or washable underwear can also help cut down on mess. If you can, ask his doctor for advice too — sometimes hearing it from them makes a difference. You’re doing your best in such a hard situation. 
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Reply to TenderStrength5
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He’s an addict, apparently for some time. He needs help, but you aren’t it,

He is beyond your expertise in caregiving because it’s not only physical help he needs but medical and psychological. This cannot be handled at home. He needs a full medical and psychological evaluation, then he proceeds to care in whatever facility is recommended by his medical team.

I’m sorry, this is awful, but at least he had a choice to drink or not drink. He chose to drink. YOU choose not to participate now. You’re through. Don’t let him drag you down with him, and good luck as you move forward with your life.
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Reply to Fawnby
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So sorry you are going thru this, but if me, he would be placed. See an Elder Lawyer about splitting assets and protecting yourself.

I am sure you know all this but thought I would post the info for the forum. I just read that WE is treatable by replacing the thiamine the alcohol has deplited. But you need to stop drinking for it to work. By the time it gets to KS there is nothing that can be done.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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