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I am not entirely clear what you're asking here. "Giving antidepressants" would seem to suggest that antidepressants have been prescribed and are available. Is that the case? Or are you trying to determine when others here think antidepressants might be medically necessary?
Sorry -- I am easily confused these days --
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If your husband has Alzheimers and/or dementia & also seems to be suffering from depression, consult his doctor for the next course of action or treatment. It's not about what you are 'against' or 'for'........it's about what your husband needs to keep him comfortable, not upset or depressed, and having the best quality of life possible for a person with his afflictions. If he's truly depressed, then he truly 'needs' medication to help him. The days of attaching stigmas to any types of medications should be long over with. Quality of life and the best of medical care is the ultimate goal for all of us.

That said, my mother is 93 and became severely depressed after suffering a serious illness in 2011 (she now has moderate dementia & lives in Memory Care). I called her MD up immediately when I saw how she was acting, told him her symptoms, and he prescribed Wellbutrin which helped her enormously. She still takes that medication to this day and I shudder to think how she would be acting without it.

Best of luck!
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Nothing NOTHING helped my mother's quality of life as much as the correct combination of antidepressants and anti anxiety meds.

There was no amount of reassurance that calmed her. Not the presence of 24/7 aides. Not quiet music. Nothing else worked

When your brain is broken from dementia, the right meds, administered in a thoughtful manner by a qualified psych doc or NP, can make all the difference in the world.
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If I had notmhad antidepressants and anti anxiety meds 20 years ago, I would not be here today! Without a shadow of a doubt I would have taken my own life, I was so unbearably depressed/anxious.

Nothing I 'did' or 'caused' to have happen, I simply was worn to a nub with my family and DH and living in a very small homw wiht TOO MANY RESPONSIBILITIES. I had an emergency choleocystectomy and didn'd do well wiht the anesthesia--and couldn't get back to 'normal', I got really, really sick before I told my DH that I was miserable and going to take my own life.

Hot footed it to the hospital where I was dxed with severe depression/anxiety.

Probably had it all my life, but the surgery caught me off guard and I didn't have any reserves of emotional strength.

A good psych doc and patience brought me back slowly to 'myself'.

I don't think AD's are the answer for everyone. But for me, a godsend.

MY brain was 'broken' and as I got better, I also gained a LOT of empathy for people who struggle.

Would you withhold insulin from a diabetic? Antibiotics from someone with strep throat? No. And I would not withhold AD's or benzos from someone who was suffering from mental issues.

After 2 heart attacks within a week, Dh was prescribed AD's--either he take something for his chronic depression or I was leaving him. (Long backstory). He really DID have a choice---but he chose to have me stay and the AD's work and continue to work and he is better.

I hoped the stigma of 'mental health meds' had gotten less over the years. I have been very upfront about my battle wiht depressin and it's comorbid friend, anxiety. Esp now as we are facing an uncertain time--if I KNEW that we'd be back to 'normal' by,say, May 15th,. it would really, really help my anxiety. As it is, I have been in hyper drive, anxiety wise and I am so glad I can take a benzo and calm down and look at life with better eyes.

My MOther NEEDED Ad's all my life. She never took them, preferring instead to drug herself into oblivion on barbiturates and Valium. She was completely useless as a mom, most of my life, but by DARN, she was never one of the 'crazies' who needed and Antidepressant. In return for THAT, 5/6 of my family (my sibs) are on an antidepressant. We all wanted to NOT be like mom.
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AT1234 Apr 2020
Amen and amen right there with you.
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Sometimes, I have to take a step back, put my strong personal preferences and my own experiences aside when it comes to anyone else's healthcare but my own. It is a greater challenge when having responsibility for a family member as a caregiver.

There are other treatments for depression, but if a person needs medication, those other treatments will not work. imo.
Medication used in combination with therapy and other treatments does help depression.

You are part of the healthcare team (along with his doctor) so your input will be invaluable, and you are in a perfect position to monitor your husband's response to treatment. As long as he has the right doctor, and the doctor is recommending medication, try that.

Good question Equestrienne, because I was just thinking what to do if my husband is now depressed. Watching a movie in tears unexplained, unable to perform regular chores, growling from irritability, sleeping too much....

What are your husband's symptoms? Has he been to the doctor?
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For all the caregivers, staying at home and isolated, here are some signs of depression:
1. Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
2. Loss of interest in daily activities. You don’t care anymore about former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
3. Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
4. Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping.
5. Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
6. Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
7. Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
8. Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
9. Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
10. Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.
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Sendhelp Apr 2020
The SILENCE is deafening. It says: "So what else is new
(besides the Covid-19!), either me or the person I am caring for has many of these symptoms over this past year, (or more).
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equestrienne, I do not have any personal experience with depression but I am of the same mind when it comes to medications. I was having trouble accepting my MIL's use of hydrocodone for back pain when she was in physical rehab, but then the doctor made it more palatable by explaining my MIL won't do the PT if she is in pain, therefore the meds are necessary. I would look at depression the same way: the depressed person cannot really move forward without getting at least some of the depression out of the way. I hope this helps, and wishing you much success in supporting your husband through his challenges.
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My mother hated taking any kind of pill. When she as diagnosed in 2011 with Alzheimer’s, she would not take the medicine her doctor prescribed to her. She remained very active and mobile but fell over the dog in 2016 and broke her hip. She recovered nicely but it really accelerated her dementia and the result was she became very depressed. Her doctor prescribed Lexapro (anti-depressant) and two monrhs later also prescribed Zyprexa (anti-paychiotic). Did I mention she is still at home? Without these medications I don’t know where we would be.
Regarding your husband, you did not state if he had any type of medical diagnosis. My account was what we did for my mother. Obviously it is based on individual needs. I wish you both well!
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I am glad that anti-depressants have helped so many. I would say, if they are suggested and you've tried all other non-medical therapies, try it. But, my mother was prescribed Zoloft. At first, she seemed ok and also appeared to be less OCD. However, after about 5 weeks, she began to have terrible nausea and neurological problems like side-to-side head motion and tongue thrusting. After two trips to the hospital, it was seen that her sodium level was becoming too low. The IV at the hospital would fix it, but it wouldn't last. The hospitalist felt it was the Zoloft, reduced her dose, and discharged her to nursing home with the directive to either cut dose in half again or stop drug altogether in two weeks. I had to argue with the nursing home doctor because he didn't want to stop the drug. In my opinion, mom lost two months and valuable ground in recovering from a fractured hip because of the Zoloft. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that people react to drugs in entirely different ways. I know people who take Zoloft without a problem! But for mom it was like poison. The regular literature for the medication doesn't highlight mom's reaction but when I read forums surrounding side effects, it was clearly there. You know your parent better than anyone, so just be vigilant so that if and when your mom tries a new drug (particularly this type of drug that changes behavior), you can recognize negative reactions and communicate these observations to the doctor.
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disgustedtoo Apr 2020
Although personally I prefer to work around taking medication, sometimes it is a necessary evil. However, someone needs to monitor anyone taking medications of any kind, because while many medications can help treat many conditions, sometimes there are those who cannot take them. It is the worst when it happens to someone who can't speak for themselves!

While in hospital for torn esophagus (therefore NOTHING by mouth, not even medications), they were shooting me with Heparin every day. I generally have no problem with needles, but THOSE were painful! Back of one arm had to be bandaged, the other looked like black marbles from elbow to armpit. Doc from hematology came to my room and explained that when I came into the hospital, my platelet count was fine, but has since shot sky high... Well, considering the only things going into me are what hospital employees put in me, figure it out!!! Unable to take another shot in the arm, I opted for the abdomen... Hematoma!!! Heparin shots stopped at that point and guess what??? Platelet count returned to normal.

Heparin has been around a long long time and generally if there is an issue it is the opposite of what happened to me - platelets drop too low. So, clearly this is something that must NOT be used on me again. I report it whenever asked about allergies to medications. Who knows what else might cause problems for me??? I also refused Fosamax after doing lookup/reading about the "side effects" - yikes!!!
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I have had great success with CBD oil.
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Caregivers and patient(s) would benefit by a doctor who knows depression. Not only are the medications available but there are things you can do yourself. Google and do some research. My husband was diagnosed 11 years ago with Alz by a neurologist - our family MD believes it might be Cardiovascular Dementia - either way he started on a low doze of an anti-depressant early on, and after all this time we just had to bump it up a little.

Know the side effects because what works for one might not be the best one to work for the patient. I am assuming he has dementia of some sort. All medicines need to be taken with supervision. We never told my husband that he is on it. We just added it to the meds he takes for the dementia.

I am allergic to anti-depressants and I use non-medical ways to help myself. Keep posting and you will find a lot of support. Lynina 2 is right about keeping an eye on what meds are used and their side effects.
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I am currently caring for my nearly 89 year old mother in my home. She has been on antidepressants since January. She told the doctor she felt depressed, so he wrote her a prescription. I see no difference in her since last Fall. We have tried to change the dosage, but it doesn't help. I question whether she should even take them. She sleeps 16-18 hours a day. It's ridiculous. She is having memory problems as well. With this virus happening now, all forms of evaluations are on hold. It's maddening. I've been told it can take 5-6 tries to find the "right" antidepressant as everyone is different. That could take a long time! Good luck.
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Tothill Apr 2020
Binlme what do you mean by "She sleeps 16-18 hours a day. It's ridiculous."? Do you feel the medication is causing her to sleep so much? Or do you feel she should not be sleeping so much?

Dad is 91 a stroke survivor and he easily sleeps 18 hours a day. 12 hours at night and multiple naps during the day. We do not think it is excessive. He also exercises daily, keeps up with the news, does work puzzles and manages his ADLs. If he has an outing one day, he needs 2 days to recover now.
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Most depression is caused by severe malnutritionprimarily dangerously low levels of B12 and or magnesium. The malnutrition is usually caused by drugs that interfere with the processing of nutrients in the body.Most depression can be cured by a cessation of nutrition draining drugs plus daily consumption of magnesium rich foods such as nuts and spinach and daily sublingual B12.Often just sublingual B12 will give at least some immediate relief to severe depression, panic attacks, and other nervous system problems.Everybody should avoid strong diuretics, statins or any other nutrition destroying substances.Metformin, celebrex, and all so called antidepressants are also very mentally and physically damaging.I am not saying all meds are bad;not at all. Everybody benefits from antibiotics to cure infectionsSome vaccinnes such as for polio and small pox are absolutely wonderful.Some narcotics are great for very short term pain relief and or for necessary surgery.I am just pleading for doctorts and patients to be aware of the grave dangers od some so called meds.I am urgiing all who are feeling depressed to take daily sublingual B12 and to eat daily lots of magnesium rich foods. It is also important to eat at least one or more whole eggs every day and to drink a lot of whole milk unless you arelactose intolerantA variety of home grown and or organic fruite, berrie, and veggies are also essential.
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Rabanette Apr 2020
Have you yourself suffered from depression?
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Let me be direct. It doesn't matter what you would do, or what others would do, or, frankly, whether you are or are not against anti-depressants.

Please take your husband to a psychiatrist and/or a geriatrician (you don't specify his age, but this is agingcare.com).

Depression is both psychically and physically painful- I can attest to this and would be glad to share more details with you. Depression also causes suffering.

Yes, I am strong in my thoughts about depression, having suffered from it since childhood.

Why would you deprive someone of relief from suffering?
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When my husband found out he had early Alzheimer’s he became very depressed which was exhibited by anger towards me. It was so bad that I was preparing to leave him. He also had suicidal thoughts. He started on Zoloft and it has helped him tremendously. For whatever it’s worth I am an RN and work on a unit that specializes in geriatric psych. Of which many carry dementia diagnosis’s. Hope this helps.
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I agree with other posts here: please please take your husband to a psychiatrist. They will tell you what the problem is.

Your stance against medication should only be the reason for you not to take medication, but not for your husband. Let him benefit from the miracles of medication.
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IWashington27 Apr 2020
Worried spouse, your reply is the best answer to the question
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I am 86 yearsold, strong, healthy, med free, and pain free.I have never suffered from depression. I was very blessed to have a highly intelligent loving mother who had access to the wonderful bookmobile for research and entertainment, clean air, clean pure water, fresh eggs, whole milk from healthy pasture fed cows, and other blessings.Rural life in the 30's was very challenging and difficult, but my Mama was equal to it.No electricity, no indoor plumbing, no auto,; but i was unaware we were deprived. For me and the many others like me life was fun, fun, fun.I fully realize now how incredibly resilient and truly heroic my parents and others of their generation really were.Whether cooking beans, cornbread, and home grown and or preserved fruits and veggies or playing and dancing with her chilfren; boiling her sheets, etc in a big iron pot over a wood fire, fishing them out with a broom handle, wring and rinsing by hand, and hanging them on a line, etc. etc. O how thankful I am for my mother.She was never depressed nor am I.She did believe in doctors. We were seldom ill, but when I had an earache she took me to town on the milk truck. An excellent doctor lanced my ear and gave us sulfa medicine.Antibiotics were not yet available.Vaccinnations were. A bexar County health nurse cameto our rural school and vaccinnated us against small pox, diphtheria, and whoopng cough.No elderly people ever had dementia. Thankfully, "antidepressants nor statins had yet been invented.
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dragonflower Apr 2020
Bobbie - it is NOT true that elderly people did not have dementia back then. There was plenty of it around; they called it "senility." Some of my ancestors definitely had it.

I'm glad life was "fun" for you; but you may be viewing things through rose-colored glasses. One thing that likely made your life more "fun" was that you seemed to have plenty of food available to your family. (I suspect that you lived on a farm.) By contrast, plenty of city folks during the depression nearly starved to death; life was definitely not "fun" for them.
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I also was not one to give medications if it were not necessary.
That said I did have my Husband on a medication to calm his anxiety. Funny thing with his Dementia (Alzheimer's and I think Vascular) he was pretty much nonverbal so there was really no way to tell how he was feeling at any given time other than the noises he made.
When he went on Hospice we discontinued the Aricept and the Statin he was on. Hospice had him on Seroquel for the anxiety.
Did it work? Can't say with 100% confidence if it did or didn't and if it did to what extent. He still made noises that may or may not have had to do with anxiety.
If you decide to try an antidepressant there are a lot and it may take a while to find the right one and the right dose to be effective for your husband. So do't give up. If your husband can communicate what is going on great.
In this journey you are taking with your husband and this disease you are going to be giving medications that you never thought you would.
A person in one of my support groups did not want to give her husband the Morphine that Hospice had suggested but she complained that he could not breathe. I suggested that maybe the reason he could not breathe was that he was so constricted, the muscles were so tight he could not get a breath. When I suggested she give him the Morphine as prescribed so that he would relax the muscles so he could breathe she still refused.
I guess what I am trying to say is...Use what is available it can make your husbands life as well as your life easier.

While I agree that taking your husband to a psychologist is a good idea for me it would not have worked since he was non verbal. For your husband it will depend on how much and how well he can communicate and answer questions.
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So called "sad" is really vitamin D deficiency pluspossibly other deficiencies. Fresh air is essential. Sunshine is not except of course for plants. Because we are so extremely fair , my Mama kept us out of the sun. She gave us a tablespoon of cod liver oil laced with fruit juice every day. However, ther is a lot of D in whole eggs, salmon, and other foods.It is deficiency of D and not lack of sun that causes problems.
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dragonflower Apr 2020
Depression has nothing at all to do with feeling "sad." It is like a black hole from which a person cannot crawl out. Unless you have experienced yourself, you would not know what it is like.

While vitamins are necessary for good health, plenty of people do everything right, including getting plenty of Vitamin D - but still suffer from severe depression.
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I kept my husband of 52 years home for nearly 11 years with Alzheimer's and Alzheimer's-induced Schizophrenia. HORRIBLE COMBINATION. During part of that time his family doctor prescribed Aricept and Zoloft. It truly made him WORSE. He reacted very poorly to those meds. I had a hard time convincing the doctor it made him worse.

A few months ago I had to put him in a memory facility. I, just like you, planned from the get-go to keep him home with me. However, it got to the point I could not handle him. He became a danger for me. In the facility, he is on 200 mg./day of Seroquel. They keep upping the dosage because he is agitated and confrontational. I don't think it has made him less depressed.

Personally, I don't know of anything that helps. Not a good outlook, I realize, but it's just the truth. I wish you the very best. Keep the faith!
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Be very careful with antidepressants as many of them are brain toxic and worsen dementia symptoms. I speak from experience.
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Bobbie-
I truly am happy for you that you have had a depression and pain free life. You do know that you are HIGHLY unusual in that, right?

I know that I do eat healthily, (as many people with depression do!) I don't drink, smoke or even drink coffee. I take a good multivitamin each day. I have had years of therapy (again, as many people with depression have done).

One things that was absolutely of NO help to me when I was suffering was people who 'knew it all' and told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to
just do A, B, and C and my life would be like theirs. Talking to someone who is mentally ill--those kinds of brushoffs are PAINFUL.

I think each individual needs to have a good evalation done and medicines prescribed if needed. I have been off and on Zoloft for years. Am now on a small maintenance dose, but during this quarantine, I had to go back up. AND THERE IS NO SHAME IN THAT.

I know you meant well, but you were blessed with a good immune system, a body that doesn't hurt all the time and a loving upbringing.

Many of us did not have that.

And I DID try vitamin supplements and potions of all sorts. What finally did the trick was replenishing my brain wiht the chemicals it simply DID NOT MAKE anymore.

For people who are suffering, and I mean SUFFERING, hearing how healthy someone 20+ years their senior is living an amazingly healthy life--it doesn't HELP. Just makes us want to crawl back into our shells.

I know you meant well. It was your kind of 'judgy' that almost made me take my own life. I actually had someone tell me I was probably suffering from some un-repented sins--that was the cause of my illnesss.

Uh, no.

Nobody can go back and change how they were raised or change their basic physical and mental state. They can work on it, and trust me, we DO.

I'm glad for you, but sad for the folks who read your post and felt worse.
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dragonflower Apr 2020
Hi, Midkid58.

As a retired psychiatric nurse, I appreciated your statement that: "What finally did the trick was replenishing my brain with the chemicals it simply DID NOT MAKE anymore."

Prior to the invention of psychotropic drugs, people with severe mental illness, such as Schizophrenia, were confined to insane asylums, chained naked to bedposts.

We know now that Schizophrenia involves a brain chemistry imbalance. Once we give a person with this disease the correct combination of brain chemicals, their symptoms resolve. A similar thing is true of other psychiatric illnesses, such as Bipolar Disorder.

I have some well-meaning friends who "assume" that if a person suffers from mental illness, that they are either not "eating right" or they are not "right with God."

In reality, mental illness is an equal opportunity employer that does not discriminate. It affects persons of faith and persons of no faith alike.
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We live in an era when there are many medications to improve a person's quality of life. If an anti-depressant will help a person, why not administer it?

Sometimes it takes a bit of "trial and error" to find one that works for a particular patient. But when the correct medication is discovered, a person's life can improve immensely.

You need to find a psychiatrist who is experienced in working with elderly clients and their medications.
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I Had to give my mom antidepressants. It calmed her down and she seemed happier.
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Dear MDkid, Thank you for being kind about my very extreme remarks. Please believe that they are meant lovingly. I do indeed know how very blessed I am to have had awonderful loving mother and father.However, difficult as it may be for you to believe it, they were indeed very typical of their wonderful generation.Most rural people(possibly all of them) in the 30's grew up just like i did.I am not sure about city people. I do know that in those days all of America was mostly rural.I wish people could live healthier and happier lives today.I am trying to do my part to increase health and hsppiness. I do not feel at al critical of those who are makingunhealthy choices. I truly just want to help anybody I can. i especially want to try to discourage the taking of harmful so called meds( and I do not mean all meds are bad). Love to all
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I think your anti-medication approach is a good one.

Because you are rightfully cautious, talk to the doctor about very mild alternatives.

It takes 6 weeks for the medications to take effect, so if things got worse and you were to have a crisis, you could have a long wait for relief.

Weigh the side effects and consider drug interactions (with other meds), but also consider side effects to unmanaged mental illness (such as heightened blood pressure).
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In order to live useful productive lives and to be as healthy as possible in an imperfect world, we absolutely must be very "judgy". However, we must try with God's help and by his grace to be "judgy only of choices and actionswe take; never "judgy" of people . Personally, I am so very very glad our wonderful God forbids me to judge people but reserves that right always only to himself. Do not ever ever be condemning toward youself and do not ever think I am condemning anyone.Just accept what I believe is excellent advice or reject it. Do not ever reject your precious self; also, know I am definitely not at al ever rejecting nor criticizing you; never ever. I loveyou and God loves you I would never ever say to you that you are suffering because of anything you hav ever done. I have suffered a lot very temporarily for never longer than about 2 years.I do not understand howor why I was delivered from suffering. I am just grateful; and I am just trusting God. I do not understand all the mysteries of life nor does anyone other than the creator of all.I do understand a lot about medicine and nutrition because of my experiences and long term research.I do not have all the answers.
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You’re wise to take that stance. As we age we wind up on so many “why not” meds, drugs that are prescribed because they ‘might’ help that then just get added to the pillbox forever.

But, he shouldn’t suffer unnecessarily. Try an anti-depressant. Look for effectiveness. Look for side effects. If it works well, stick with it. If not, try another.

Regularly take a look at all the drugs and ask the doctor what is the goal for each one.
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Yes my husband is on anti-depressants as well as dementia related medicines. But he has always suffered from bouts of depression, and when the doctors tried to take him off lithium he became extremely depressed again.
Personally I believe anti depressants can be helpful, if used with caution and if all your medicines are prescribed/approved by your husband's neurologist.

Good luck.
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I hear you about medications - many people feel like you do. I do think that in some cases, medication is a must - what kind, etc. is up to the medical people and the individual's body. Sometimes you have to do some trial and error methods until you find the right item. Good luck. Just make sure you have good doctors who have good reputations and are the right ones to choose the correct methods for help.
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