My husband never remembers where the bathroom is. How do I get him to stop urinating on the bedroom carpet when I don't hear him get up?

You can’t help him in any way with this. It’s his Alzheimer’s . You aren’t missing anything or doing anything wrong.

What is your plan for when you can’t caregive for him anymore because his needs overwhelm your abilities? You are nearly there, so I hope you have a plan in place. What you are doing isn’t going to work for much longer.

When this happens, many if not most people decide it's time for 24/7 care in a facility.

Incontinence in the home is awful. Everything starts to smell. You'll have to replace carpet and pad right down to the flooring, which, if it's wood, soaks up urine and poop. No getting rid of the odor. No point in trying.

Can you not just have him wear Depends(or the like) and tell him not to worry about where the bathroom is and just pee in his "underwear"(Depends)?
At least for overnight.
Either that or you can try placing a bedside commode right next to his bed, but there is no guarantee that he will know what it's for, and you still risk pee all over the floor/carpet.
When my late husband(who had vascular dementia)got to where he was missing the toilet with his pee, I made him sit down to pee. Yes I made him. And eventually he got used to it and did it automatically.
But very long story short, his incontinence got much worst and eventually he had to get a supra pubic catheter, which made both of our lives much better/easier.
But also do know that incontinence is often the straw that will break the camels back and when a loved one needs to be placed. Only you can decide just how much more you can put up with or tolerate without your health being affected.
I hope you will know what your limitations are.
Best wishes.

So sorry you are dealing with this. We have the same issue with my dad. Because of dementia/Alz, it makes most of the obvious options not helpful. My dad hates the depends type underwear of any kind. If he can he takes them off & hides them. If he can’t get them off, once they are wet & uncomfortable, he pulls all of the insides out of them & there’s a mess everywhere. Because of his broken brain he doesn’t always let us change his clothes, sleeps in his day clothes, etc. it may be a couple days before we can get him to change. Mind you, this is a very mellow, easy going man. Loving & appreciative, not difficult usually.
Also, he definitely would not remember to use a urinal or bedside toilet……at least not for what it’s supposed to be used for. 🤪
Anyway, several things that have helped us some are 1) we put arrows on the floor from his side of the bed to his bathroom door & into the toilet with red duct tape. (Shorter dashes & then the arrow as you get to the bathroom.) 2) a bathroom sign on the bathroom door 3) once he’s in the bathroom, a red toilet seat (we read that sometimes with dementia patients they can’t make out things in a room of all one similar color so make the toilet seat a distinct color from everything else)

My dad still has accidents, but they are fewer than before, especially on the carpet. Most are at least in the bathroom now. Hope at least one of these things help you as well.

You are taking on a difficult task, caring for your husband with dementia. I commend you! (and a big hug to you). Unfortunately, people with dementia can't learn new things and forget many of the old things. He may not change his behavior. Put incontinence pads under him in the bed. would he wear adult "astronaut" diapers at night, and would he feel comfortable urinating in the diaper? Then just dispose of them in the morning (cut them off, some can be ripped off on the sides). He will need to be cleaned up with wipes. Also, take care of yourself so that you don't get caregiver burnout. Connect with your state's Department of Aging or a local social worker to make sure that he (and you) are getting all of the benefits you are entitled to. He may be eligible to get a part-time caregiver who can watch over him at night and help with bathing and dressing him in the morning (and cleaning up). You may be eligible to get someone to help with cleaning and other household chores. All the best to you and your husband.

We have resorted to using a condom catheter at night. They are quite easy to apply and then he can just urinate and stay in bed. In our case it has been a game changer. We have utilized them during the day for walks or appointments. It is worth a try.

For me, incontinence issues were one of the reasons I had move from my house to AL. That is just too much to deal with, IMHO! Have you considered placing him? Will he wear pullups? You have to be getting very burnt out and barely getting any sleep. I feel so bad!

Gee, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. Dementia just sucks for everyone.

My grandmother thought that our green shag carpet was the grass and our brown furniture was trees. We could never stop her from peeing behind the tree. She would shoosh you, because people will see her if you aren't quite.

It is truly heartbreaking to watch someone we love lose the ability to function in the world.

Hopefully a urinal or a bedside commode will help. I would also try an alarm that goes off when he stands up or gets out of bed, this will ruin your sleep but, imo, far better then cleaning carpets often.

Remember that you matter too! So be sure and find ways to take care of you while doing what you do for your husband. Hugs!

One more…… we leave the bathroom light on all night so hopefully he’s drawn that direction.😊

geelo11: Perhaps you can try a bedside commode. Bear in mind, he may require residence in a managed care facility.