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When my mom hallucinates she sometimes wants me to take care of what she imagines is going on, like a dog trapped in a car, get my dad (who is no longer living) out of the kitchen, help the kitten in the tree, call the police about the robber in the neighbor's upstairs window. I go to the car and then tell her that it isn't a dog, just a reflection in the window, say outloud "Papa, get out of the kitchen", or go to the tree and pretend laugh that its a squirrel, not a kitty. The police thing though always has me stumped. Lately it's been UTI's causing the hallucinations, but not when they started years ago. Then and now, it does her no good to explain that it is hallucination. It's totally real to her and confuses her if it is explained away.
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anonymous275216 Jan 2020
ArtistDaughter
I find taking responsibility for ''fixing'' the problems involved in hallucinations seems to be the best way forward. I try not to offer explanations because they confuse my mother even further - logic is useless in dementia patients, especially when it is advanced. Just go with the flow I find the best approach. Apart from the police issues my mother's hallucinations were pretty innocuous, we just agreed they were lovely and she moved on. (See post further down).
As far as the police are concerned: when my mother still had access to a telephone, or when the memory care nurses would dial my number for her, I would let her tell me the story. Usually she said I had to phone the police because the place was in lock-down, all the doors were locked, no one would tell her anything, something had to be done, they all needed to get out, she was being made to sleep on the floor etc. Once she had her story I would tell her she needed to get off the phone so I could phone the police, that she had to wait somewhere safe, usually this took place at night so she would get into bed. So often by the time I had phoned the staff just to make sure everything was okay, she had settled and more than likely be back asleep.
No reason why it might not work similarly for your mother. Send her to do something as a distraction, if she is capable she could make a cup of tea, bring the dog inside, make sure the cat is safe and so forth. If she is still listening in you can pretend to ring the police and say they will get there shortly. Continue with diversion strategies until the hallucination has passed. I have seen this work similarly in the memory care unit with other residents.
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My Mom has dementia and at times thinks the Nurses in their Long Term Care Center are after my Dad. She has attacked him at night thinking he is flirting with the nurses. She gets up during the night and tells Dad that she is going home and getting the hell out of there! He will say, just where do you think you are going? She says, Home! He tells her our home was sold and now we are here! She will leave the room and walk down the hall until a nurse brings her back to bed. This goes on almost every night! It’s not fun.
A friend of ours when his Dad was living also had dementia and he thought his wife was sleeping with all their neighbors and he was found sitting on the porch with a gun in his hands, he planned on shooting the 1st one he caught coming to the house! They quickly took the gun out of the house and their daughter had to move in with them to keep the peace.
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Don't stir Him up..Button Up and just Deal with this in the Best way you can....
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Not sure if this will help you to decide how to tackle the issue or not.....
My mother has not had hallucinations for some months, thankfully. Not that they were anything scary at all. They often involved plants growing on the walls. Sometimes ivy, sometimes spinach, roses or cabbages. Mother was not worried by them, so we just agreed how lovely it was, how pretty etc. When the wall clock was looking at her, we covered it. When a painting of an elderly couple sitting on a park bench was srarring at her (she claimed it was not the people but the painting itself starring), we simply turned its face to the wall. After mother came out of these brief periods she had simply lost track of time and memory, so we told her she had been napping.
There is no point in our telling her she is hallucinating, nor that it is part of dementia because she has forgotten she has dementia....not that she ever accepted outright that she had it in the first place.
Does your husband even need to be told he is hallucinating? I am sure if my mother understood she was hallucinating, and why, she would be more frightened because she would be realising how far her illness had progressed. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
Hope this gives you some perspective.
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It does not matter what the "cause" of a hallucination is. If a person is having one, they are having one. (For example, I hallucinate when I am running a moderately high fever during the flu.) Everyone on this list seems quick to jump on a UTI as some "magic" cause of hallucinations that will disappear once the UTI is treated. Unfortunately, if a person has been diagnosed with dementia, hallucinations are part of the "package" - UTI or not!

Don't deny the hallucination. Just validate that, yes, he is having a hallucination. Hallucinations are very 'real' to the person having them - even though they are not real to the observer. (I used to work as a psychiatric RN.)
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Check him for a Urinary Tract infection, aka, U.T.I. My late mother routinely got U.T.I.s and she would hallucinate BADLY.
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Respond to your husband's hallucinations in context, such as lindabf said she did when she had her mother lead her to "where the bugs were." Do not try to explain that he is hallucinating or has dementia. He will not understand what that means. If your husband thinks someone is outside trying to get in, go out with a flashlight to "send him away," etc. Hallucinations may represent fears that are harder to articulate so they are experienced as hallucinations, the way dreams tell "stories" to try to make sense of emotions and sensations.
Certainly do any appropriate medical checks to see if there are physical reasons aggravating the hallucinations, but be prepared to respond to hallucinations with answers or actions that address the situation your husband thinks he is experiencing.
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Several things can cause hallucinations and I think we experienced most of these with my Gram: infections (especially UTIs), poor oxygenation (when she visited us in Colorado), high and low blood pressure, low blood sugar... and some were just a "daytime dreams". Rather than accept that this is the new normal, please check with your doctor about other causes.

If this is the new normal, accept that he is interpreting what he sees and hears in ways you do not. It's hard to tell somebody you are experiencing life differently and that they are "wrong". Maybe you can get him to focus on something - a flower, a gift, a snack or meal, a piece of music... - to help him see reality as you do when the "hallucinations" occur.
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Recently my aunts caretaker told me that aunt had a hallucination one day. She did turn out to have a UTI. So I was thinking we were over that.
Then during the holidays she motioned to a throw that had the manger scene woven into it. She said “do you know why the wolf is keeping watch?”
I thought. Oh no. Another hallucination. I looked closely at the manger scene and there was a shadow woven in of various figures. And there on the throw was what looked to be a wolf’s head over the cradle. It was actually the shadow of the angel’s wings. What appeared to be the tips of wolf ears was the shadow of the angel’s wings.
I was so relieved that I failed to ask her why the wolf was keeping watch. It seemed like she was about to tell me a good story.
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"Here sweetheart...swallow this piece of candy."
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Maryjann Jan 2020
I don't understand.
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My mom is 96 with dementia. She is extremely paranoid. She thinks someone is coming to take her, my husband and I. She thinks someone is taking her blood. The other night she she said me and my husband are in so much trouble for knocking some women's head off. All her thoughts are bad. It's hard to go along with these thoughts, I try to assure her no one is coming to get us.
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Aggie Doran, from what I have read, since the brain is broken, their body can't regulate its heat, they can get headaches as well as high blood pressure, so check his blood pressure. My husband has LBD, has constant UTI'S, hallucinates, has headaches and is always freezing (we live in San Antonio, Texas), but always wants the heater on and sleeps with several covers. The brain controls the whole body, so when it's malfunctioning, things are off at different intervals.
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UTI'S are a big culprit for hallucinations and delusions, so check this out first. It seems that my husband only hallucinates when he has UTI's.
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Aggie, first let me say that I’m very sorry that you or anyone else has to go down this road. Our country needs to wake up to this epidemic. My 12 year journey ended on July 4 at 8:00am. Now I want to help others so they may have an easier time than I did.

First, find a support group. This website is a good start. Support groups are not all the same. Look for one that meets your needs. If you are in a small community without much choice, change the one have. My support group has become very proactive. None of us are “poor me” types. We find many people travel to our group because we want and have answers.

Bill’s hallucinations are now, and always were, a source of humor for all my friends and family. If it’s not a medicinal issue, the best thing you can do is play along, as long as they are not troubling to him. You can’t change his mind. He sees them. Bill’s most common two were 1) the ladies who were outside the bedroom window approving or disapproving of what I dressed him in (I asked each day what they thought), and 2) all the children who would stop him to ask about sex when he was out walking the dogs. You have to find the things to laugh at. At first it was shocking and then I welcomed the “old ladies” and the children into our lives. I’d ask him what they said. He calmed down about his hallucinations and delusions after that. It just became part of our day.

I didn’t always know if what he was saying was real or not so I just treated it like it was. Later, when nothing he said was real, the whole family had learned to just go with the flow.

Tell your doctor. Research if there’s a cause. Get help for yourself. You MUST give to the caregiver so the caregiver has something to give to the cared for.
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Most of my Mom’s hallucinations were of people - usually family members already passed on. Those we could just let be. Occasionally, she would hallucinate big bugs that she found offensive, if not frightening. I found that if I had her guide me to where they were so I could get rid of them, then when I got close to them, they would disappear. (But she still looked at me like she was so disappointed that her smart and educated daughter had to be TOLD where they were when it was so plain to her! LOL) Follow their lead unless it gets scary; then intervene and distract if at all possible. Meanwhile check for UTI’s and other possible side effects, as mentioned frequently in other posts.
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When my DH started to hallucinate - I called his primary physician. We were told to stop the Benydryl he was taking for itching and it stopped his hallucinations.

I said nothing to my DH - he didn't know he was hallucinating. Rather than upset him, a call to the doctor fixed our problem overnight. It seems that Benydryl causes hallucinations in the elderly.

Call the doctor and the doctor will review the medications your DH is taking and the doctor will make the call about changing any medications.
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Please check the side effects of the meds he is currently on. There are common side effects and rare side effects. The symptoms you are describing are common to psych meds used for dementia. Particularly when there is a combination of medications. I would suggest you give him as little medication as possible. ALL meds have side effects...and a cumulative toxic effect on the body. A simple ginger tea...a few slices or 1tspn grated raw ginger..pour boiling distilled water on top. Cover, let sit a few minutes. Add a teaspoon of raw honey, a slice of raw lemon if preferred...and have your husband sip on it. This will warm the body in a very short period of time, with no side effects. Another helpful hint is a good sprinle of cayenne pepper added to loose cotton sox...and gloves if needed. Then have your husband put them on. This will improve the circulation & also warm him up
You can add the cayenne to lotion if its easier & rub this into the extremities.
Highly effective and all natural.
Headaches: check side effects again....give plenty of distilled water as dehydration causes headaches. As does constipation. A good feed of soaked prunes as a night snack every 2nd or 3rd night with help with regularity. And prunes contain a salt that strengthens the nerves.
Finally, the neck being a little out of alignment can cause headaches. A massage & stretch of the neck, going into the lower skull can be very helpful
I would suggest you do the above for your self also. Your health is your foundation.
You need to be there for yourself first. So you are able to be there for your dear husband. He is lucky to have you
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sandy1955 Jan 2020
Please do not stop any meds until talking to his physician. Stopping meds abruptly can cause more problems. Also discuss any natural supplements with doctor before starting them.
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I had a uti which took the hospital two days to figure out that it was causing your same problem.
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My Mom who has not been diagnosed with dementia, recently had her aortic valve replaced via a catheter, was delusional in hospital..that subsided then 3 months later with acute UTI and dehydration she started getting delirious and the hallucinating. As her UTI was clearing up, the delirium and hallucinations subsided. I read it could take weeks and sometimes months to completely go away. All the medical professionals are way to quick to diagnose dementia in the elderly. Best of luck.
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My dad used to see men having a meeting at our dining room table, or ladies going up and down the stairs. Since they didn't scare him, we just told him it was OK. He was Ok with it.. if your dad is too, just roll with it.
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Please discuss this with DH's doctor. There are many causes of hallucinations, not connected with dementia that can be treated with medication. Hugs to you and DH
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It really serves no purpose to tell DH that he is hallucinating. To him the hallucinations are very real. My mother has hallucinations about someone knocking on her bedroom door at times. She will come into my bedroom (seems to happen at night) and tell me someone is knocking on her door and she won't let them in. I tell her that it is God and she will smile and say, "oh, God can come in." Then she goes back to her room. She has also stated that she sees people. I have asked her if she is scared of these people? She tells me "no," therefore, I tell her just let them be and they will let her be. She seems to be satisfy with that answer.

I have found that it is much easier to go along with it then to argue that it is not real. As long as your DH is not afraid of what he is experiencing then just go with it. I would however tell his Dr what is going on because there is medication that can help.

I know this is probably very difficult for you, but you can not bring your husband into your reality. You must go into his. Remember your husband's brain is broken.

I am sorry that you and your husband has to experience this awful disease.
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Aggiedoran Jan 2020
Thank you so much! It’s comforting to have someone who has been through this to communicate with. Again thanks!
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If he's hallucinating he may not understand what you tell him, that what he's seeing/hearing isn't real. If he isn't lucid he most likely won't understand. When he hallucinates provide a calm and relaxing environment. Speak in calm voices. When someone hallucinates sometimes we expect them to snap out of it and come back to the here and now but it's much easier on the person if we go into their world where they are at that moment. I don't mean reinforcing the hallucinations and play-acting but sitting with the person and providing a calming presence to them. You can hold their hand or rub their back if they will tolerate it. Go and be with them where they are. Try not to ask a bunch of questions about the hallucination, just be there for him.
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Are the hallucinations scary to him?
And what type of dementia does he have and how far has it progressed?
Hallucinations are common with LBD or Lewy Body Dementia this form of dementia has aspects of Parkinson's and or Parkinson's is diagnosed with the dementia.
There are medications that can help have you discussed the hallucinations with his doctor?
If he has not been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and the doctor just diagnosed "dementia" it is important to get an accurate diagnosis particularly with LBD.
Getting back to the hallucinations if they do not frighten him I would not worry about them. Example, if he sees a dog sitting on the couch ask him about the dog and what it is doing. What kind of dog it is, what color things like that.
On the other hand if he "sees" a stranger in the house and he wants to protect you, him and your valuables and goes to get a knife from the kitchen...that is dangerous and frightening. You need to try to convince him there is no one there. Or tell him it is a friend, the meter reader, or a neighbor.
If he "sees" bugs on the wall and tries to get on a chair to kill them that is dangerous. As you can see it is important to discuss this with his doctor so that proper diagnosis is made and proper medications can be started.
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Aggiedoran Jan 2020
From what I have read, it sounds like he has PCA dementia. It’s rare. He’s loosing his eye site and that makes it worse. He sees people with strange faces. He’s just now having hallucinations, should I let doctor know now or wait and see how often he has them? Last night he got so cold, he kept asking me if I had air condition on. I put 4 quilts on him, finally he got to sleep. There’s so much I need to learn, so I know what to do. Thanks for your information .
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Contact his doctor, there are meds that can helping with that. Or they could be caused by a UTI.

Don't try to explain that he is seeing things. Go along with him. Remember you cannot explain or reason with dementia. Better that you step into his world or try to redirect.
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Aggiedoran Jan 2020
He also has been having headaches. He never has headaches. Thanks for information.
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