of course your children have busy lives and their own families that they are responsible for and want to be part of their lives.
Start shopping now. Sometimes earlier the better as they may make the adjustment a bit easier.
You need and deserve a life outside of the caregiving. In a facility you will be able to visit as a wife.
It is hard for the caregiver to back away, nobody will be able to care for him like you do or in the same way. Be prepared for that. It does not mean that he is not receiving good care.
YOU get to decide when — not the illness, not another's opinion, not a promise you possibly made to him, not a family expectation. When you feel you no longer can or no longer wish to, that is when. Nothing before or during that decision will feel good...that's normal. It does not mean you do not love or care about him. Please don't feel guilty about taking care of yourself. Never feel guilty about that. May you receive great wisdom and peace in your heart whatever you choose to do, and when.
My Mom was in an AL and because of money had to move her to LTC on Medicaid. My daughter, RN, and I felt she got better care at LTC than the AL. Many a time I had to tell the AL she needed a change. Not so at LTC.
I agree to look around. MC is usually private pay. Your husband maybe beyond them. You also need to protect yourself. Medicaid allows for splitting of assets. Your husbands half will be used for his care and once spent down, u can apply for medicaid. You will be considered the Community Spouse and will be able to remain in the house and have a car. You will be given enough money to live. There is more to this so speak to a lawyer well versed in Medicaid.
I agree with both gladimhere and Geaton; you do get to decide, and if you're asking “when is it time”, it's time, or why would you ask? Yes, you do get to decide, but that decision is based on your tolerance to give proper care and your emotional and mental health, not the stage of the disease. The object, here, is to protect and preserve the caregivers health, your health. Some caregivers wait too long to place their LO in a facility. Thinking you can do more than you really can, or believing that it's your obligation to keep him at home are both myths and can be destructive for both you and your husband. You must realize your caregiving limits. Placing him where he gets the care he needs only reinforces your love for him and causes you to accept and acknowledge the fact that he requires better care than you can give. Remember, just because he is no longer at home, that you, indeed, are still caring for him. You don't loose your authority to advocate for him.
Wandering is a major reason people place their LO in a care facility. It certainly was a major reason for me to place my wife along with the sleeplessness and safety factors.
of course your children have busy lives and their own families that they are responsible for and want to be part of their lives.
Start shopping now. Sometimes earlier the better as they may make the adjustment a bit easier.
You need and deserve a life outside of the caregiving. In a facility you will be able to visit as a wife.
It is hard for the caregiver to back away, nobody will be able to care for him like you do or in the same way. Be prepared for that. It does not mean that he is not receiving good care.
I agree to look around. MC is usually private pay. Your husband maybe beyond them. You also need to protect yourself. Medicaid allows for splitting of assets. Your husbands half will be used for his care and once spent down, u can apply for medicaid. You will be considered the Community Spouse and will be able to remain in the house and have a car. You will be given enough money to live. There is more to this so speak to a lawyer well versed in Medicaid.
Wandering is a major reason people place their LO in a care facility. It certainly was a major reason for me to place my wife along with the sleeplessness and safety factors.