Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Beck, at the point this happens, along with all else involved in aging care, it is no longer a one-woman job. This may mean that several shifts with several workers on each is required to provide safe, adequate and competent care. Sometimes, much as we wish otherwise, things just are no longer sustainable. I am so sorry for all you are going through, but there just isn't a "fix" for this.
This is a major reason why family caregivers "put" their loved ones into one of those "horrible, cruel, miserable" assisted living or memory care facilities….
where there are teams of professionally trained caregivers who know how to handle this issue. They work together to make sure that your LO is checked at least every 2 hours, changed if needed or if not needed in some cases, and cleaned meticulously so that skin irritation and infection don't develop. Through it all, these professional caregivers are cheerful, kind, helpful, personable and encouraging to the patient. There is a director of nursing to oversee care of your loved one and to make sure proper procedure is followed.
My husband is in such a facility now. At a certain point, in most cases, it is impossible for a family caregiver to provide the best care at home. I'm so sorry you're in this situation as many of us have been before you. But it's time to think of alternatives to home care of your husband.
I'm glad your husband is in a good facility. He is lucky. The place he's in is the exception rather than the rule when it comes to nursing homes and memory care facilities.
I never had to deal with. My Mom could still get to the toilet, I just had to help her clean up.
I would say treat him like you would a child you are potty training. Every two hours get him on the toilet to pee. After meals, put him on. If this is not something you can physically do, you may need to place him into Longterm care. Not sure if an Assisted Living would do this.
Toileting supervision Adult underware An over-toilet bidet. You need a plumber to add a hot water line, but cold water is still useful Memory care who will provide a team when all else fails
You should discuss the matter with the nurse or physician to determine what the cause of the situation might be, there can be many causes. Nutritional, viral or bacterial, internal organ related or functional problems with the gastrointestinal system. Or it may be an enzyme problem that is produced inside the intestinal or colon system.
Speak to his doctor incase it’s his medication or other medical issue when my dad took pain killing tablets for his heel pain it dehydrated him and caused severe constipation- his symptoms likened to Alzheimer’s in a way as we cut them down ( clearing with doctor first) his symptoms disappeared we also got him drinking more even regular sips through out the day made a difference that said my father has an enlarged prostate do will wee more we use incontinence pass put into incontinent disposable pants depends on budget easier to change just whip out the soiled one and wipe down- cheap basin and flannel after wiping with wet wipes dipped into water with disinfedas and shower gel pick up some cheap small bin bags -the type used for tiny bins and put the soiled disposables in that we have a bin outside we then put the bags into speak to his doctor and get some anti chaff cream - the constant wet/leak will give him sores otherwise ! and monitor his toilet incase he isn’t going regularly did he’s mobile then maybe he won’t need so much at night we use slip in incontinence pad inside a disposable incontinence brief on his bed we put disposable incontinence sheet like dogs puppy pads They save a lot of washing sheets They do sell washable ones as well but if funds allow disposable ones are more convenient don’t forget gloves we use disposable adjust to your budget all the best
He needs adult diapers (briefs with tab closures). Also, large adult size wipes. Walmart's assurance brand is good. You will also want to start buying disposable underpads to place under him on the bed and furniture, because diapers will leak. If his brief is being changed by a caregiver on the bed, these pads come in handy to contain the mess.
Lay the person down on their back, have them turn to their side away from you, or help to turn him. Start rolling the soiled diaper under him, with the bulkiest part under the legs, not under the back, then, turn him to face toward you and remove the diaper from behind him. Clean thoroughly with disposable cloths. I like to use a wash basin with warm soapy water for washing. I place a smaller plastic bowl inside a larger plastic bowl, with my wipes arranged around the rim of the large bowl. This way, when water spills, it spills into the larger container. And pulling your wipes out of the package ahead of time saves you the trouble of trying to pull them out one at a time with contaminated hands, while your hands are busy. Gently pat dry with a soft towel. Apply moisture barrier cream on their behind to protect the skin from wetness.
When I'm cleaning a messy bowel movement, I have two disposable underpads underneath his behind. The top pad will receive most of the wet mess, and that simply gets rolled up and removed, revealing a clean dry pad still under him. That, too, may become soiled. But, at least most of the mess has been removed and cleaned at this point.
Turn the patient again on their side, push a clean diaper underneath them, then turn them to the other side to pull the diaper through. Roll the patient on to their back, pull the diaper up between the legs, trying to get a good fit, and fasten with the tabs.
You will also want to buy lots of small 4 gallon or 8 gallon plastic trash liners to dispose of the soiled diapers. I have a small plastic garbage can on my back patio where I keep the smelly trash until trash day, then I transfer all to my large can that goes to the curb.
You can buy Incontinence briefs from online medical suppliers. I've always liked Vitality Medical. You can also find them at drug stores such as Walmart or Walgreens or online from Amazon. I buy my incontinence supplies from Walmart. Their store brand, Assurance is a good brand and well priced. I get the 36" x 30" disposable pads, Assurance wipes, and nitrile gloves. You can find all of those products from online medical suppliers as well.
This is one of the most detailed and useful responses I ve read on this topic in this forum, and I really appreciate that you took the time to explain everything like this, where I live, there is no assisted living and even asking for help to take care of a parent or partner is not really an option and ppl will take it as you dont wanna do it, and nobody teaches you how to do things, so I remember the first time that I had to do it for my father after his leg surgery as he also has parkinsons, I just cried for so long and felt clueless, I had no idea how to deal with the mess, then I watched videos explaining it later on, but I will never forget that day. Kudos to you for doing it every single day, I know it takes a lot of patience and courage and mental strength, and guilt but we get through it at the end. Thank you again for your time.
This is the "line in the sand" for many people. You have a few options. You learn to deal with it. You learn how to change his briefs, maybe get him on a bathroom schedule that may sometimes work. And you learn to deal with the occasional "blow outs" and the constipation and how to manage that. or You have caregivers that will come in and help you. And you have to decide if you can manage when they are not there or do you need them 24/7 or You decide that it is time to place him so that he has someone 24/7 that can manage his care.
I can tell you that no decision is "wrong" or "right" ...what is right for you may not be right for someone else. And caring for someone with dementia or any chronic illness is not easy and it is not likely to get easier.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Resources > Caregiving Topics > Incontinence
in the main menu of this forum.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/caring-for-a-loved-one-with-fecal-incontinence-214869.htm
where there are teams of professionally trained caregivers who know how to handle this issue. They work together to make sure that your LO is checked at least every 2 hours, changed if needed or if not needed in some cases, and cleaned meticulously so that skin irritation and infection don't develop. Through it all, these professional caregivers are cheerful, kind, helpful, personable and encouraging to the patient. There is a director of nursing to oversee care of your loved one and to make sure proper procedure is followed.
My husband is in such a facility now. At a certain point, in most cases, it is impossible for a family caregiver to provide the best care at home. I'm so sorry you're in this situation as many of us have been before you. But it's time to think of alternatives to home care of your husband.
I'm glad your husband is in a good facility. He is lucky. The place he's in is the exception rather than the rule when it comes to nursing homes and memory care facilities.
I would say treat him like you would a child you are potty training. Every two hours get him on the toilet to pee. After meals, put him on. If this is not something you can physically do, you may need to place him into Longterm care. Not sure if an Assisted Living would do this.
Adult underware
An over-toilet bidet. You need a plumber to add a hot water line, but cold water is still useful
Memory care who will provide a team when all else fails
when my dad took pain killing tablets for his heel pain it dehydrated him and caused severe constipation- his symptoms likened to Alzheimer’s in a way
as we cut them down ( clearing with doctor first) his symptoms disappeared
we also got him drinking more even regular sips through out the day made a difference
that said my father has an enlarged prostate
do will wee more
we use incontinence pass put into incontinent disposable pants
depends on budget
easier to change just whip out the soiled one
and wipe down- cheap basin and flannel after wiping with wet wipes dipped into water with disinfedas and shower gel
pick up some cheap small bin bags -the type used for tiny bins and put the soiled disposables in that
we have a bin outside we then put the bags into
speak to his doctor and get some anti chaff cream - the constant wet/leak will give him sores otherwise !
and monitor his toilet incase he isn’t going regularly
did he’s mobile then maybe he won’t need so much
at night we use slip
in incontinence pad inside a disposable incontinence brief
on his bed we put disposable incontinence sheet
like dogs puppy pads
They save a lot of washing sheets
They do sell washable ones as well
but if funds allow disposable ones are more convenient
don’t forget gloves
we use disposable
adjust to your budget
all the best
Also, large adult size wipes. Walmart's assurance brand is good.
You will also want to start buying disposable underpads to place under him on the bed and furniture, because diapers will leak. If his brief is being changed by a caregiver on the bed, these pads come in handy to contain the mess.
Lay the person down on their back, have them turn to their side away from you, or help to turn him. Start rolling the soiled diaper under him, with the bulkiest part under the legs, not under the back, then, turn him to face toward you and remove the diaper from behind him. Clean thoroughly with disposable cloths.
I like to use a wash basin with warm soapy water for washing. I place a smaller plastic bowl inside a larger plastic bowl, with my wipes arranged around the rim of the large bowl. This way, when water spills, it spills into the larger container.
And pulling your wipes out of the package ahead of time saves you the trouble of trying to pull them out one at a time with contaminated hands, while your hands are busy. Gently pat dry with a soft towel. Apply moisture barrier cream on their behind to protect the skin from wetness.
When I'm cleaning a messy bowel movement, I have two disposable underpads underneath his behind. The top pad will receive most of the wet mess, and that simply gets rolled up and removed, revealing a clean dry pad still under him. That, too, may become soiled. But, at least most of the mess has been removed and cleaned at this point.
Turn the patient again on their side, push a clean diaper underneath them, then turn them to the other side to pull the diaper through. Roll the patient on to their back, pull the diaper up between the legs, trying to get a good fit, and fasten with the tabs.
You will also want to buy lots of small 4 gallon or 8 gallon plastic trash liners to dispose of the soiled diapers. I have a small plastic garbage can on my back patio where I keep the smelly trash until trash day, then I transfer all to my large can that goes to the curb.
You can buy Incontinence briefs from online medical suppliers. I've always liked Vitality Medical. You can also find them at drug stores such as Walmart or Walgreens or online from Amazon.
I buy my incontinence supplies from Walmart. Their store brand, Assurance is a good brand and well priced. I get the 36" x 30" disposable pads, Assurance wipes, and nitrile gloves. You can find all of those products from online medical suppliers as well.
Best of luck.
You have a few options.
You learn to deal with it. You learn how to change his briefs, maybe get him on a bathroom schedule that may sometimes work. And you learn to deal with the occasional "blow outs" and the constipation and how to manage that.
or
You have caregivers that will come in and help you. And you have to decide if you can manage when they are not there or do you need them 24/7
or
You decide that it is time to place him so that he has someone 24/7 that can manage his care.
I can tell you that no decision is "wrong" or "right" ...what is right for you may not be right for someone else.
And caring for someone with dementia or any chronic illness is not easy and it is not likely to get easier.