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Some days he comes home at 2:30 just exhausted. Good things he's the boss! Then will sleep for two hours!
The question I have is:
Has anyone else seen this in early dementia? He has a lot of word mix ups. Word finding problems. Has Sentence and fluency problems but is not at all confused or cognitively affected. He is fully oriented to time and place. Only his speech is mixed up. It's difficult to follow his thought. Sometimes needing multiple questions to clarify.
He has no problems remembering our family names or naming items.
He does have increasing short term memory issues. Losing his phone, Wallet, etc.
How long have you seen this stage last?
Is it possible he won't get worse? The doctor said it might stabilize.
I have watched all the Teepa Snow videos and they are good, but he is not bad like that at all. He can converse and be social and most people might not notice too much.
Maybe the neuro testing doc was wrong?

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Don’t have an answer but hoping someone does, as hubby is at the same stage and I’ve been wondering the same thing!
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
Terrific answers everyone. You all are amazing and wonderful folks!
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I don't think it'll stop, but this stage can last quite a while. My mother had dementia for a good four years before anyone outside the family realized it. Of course, she had other health issues to help her compensate. She had macular degeneration and couldn't see faces clearly, so she and my dad would ask people to identify themselves. That covered up for her inability to remember some names. She was even able to convince someone she had remarried after my dad's death when the idea of that was utterly preposterous.

The important thing is to know that you'll likely notice his issues more than others will because you're closest to him. It's your job to make sure he isn't a danger to himself or others (driving when he no longer should, for example) and be sure he isn't endangering the family business.

Just be sure to have all his affairs in order (yours, too) with powers of attorney (durable and medical), trusts, and wills before he's no longer competent to assign them. You don't want something to happen to YOU and there's no one assigned to handle his care other than you. That's why both of you need these documents now with secondary and even tertiary people named.

My dad was the healthy one caring for Mom as her dementia worsened, but then he died first. Fortunately, we had all the paperwork lined up already, so I could take over right away. In fact, I took over as Trustee of their trust before he died, because he and my mother resigned as trustees when Dad became sick.

I hate to say it, but don't assume you'll always be there to care for him.
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Has your husband been screened for dementia by a neurologist? There are many causes of dementia. Some are treatable, even reversible, some are not. Has the dr. eliminated all those reasons that are not truly dementia? Things like vascular problems, meds interaction, high cholesterol, hydrocephalus, thyroid problems, low vitamin B12 levels, and more, can mimic dementia. Chronic long term use of OTC sleep aids are linked to dementia. Memory loss caused by these conditions are “pseudo-dementias” and often can be treated.

Mild cognitive impairment (MCI) can be a precursor to dementia. Early dementia may be MCI, a condition that affects memory and speech but doesn't interfere with day to day living. Some people with MCI do stabilize, while others progress into dementia. Dementia, in itself, is not a disease, but a combination of symptoms caused by a disease. Alzheimer's dementia is the most prevalent cause of dementia. If your husband truly has dementia symptoms, it's hard to say how long the early stages will last. The symptoms are progressive and worsen over time. Typically, someone diagnosed with AD lives from 8 to 20 years after diagnosis.

So make certain the dr. has eliminated all the treatable conditions, and if so, make sure he/she gives you a diagnosis of the cause of your husband's dementia.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
As sjplegacy says, there are many different underlying causes to dementia or dementia-like symptoms. Some are not truly dementia, but are caused by some other medical condition or even medications.

This has a good description and some common causes (don't be alarmed, until the cause is determined, worry won't help - it's best to try to find the cause and then focus on what, if anything, can be done to minimize or treat the condition):

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/aphasia/symptoms-causes/syc-20369518

Dementia is just an umbrella term that covers a multitude of conditions like Alzheimer's, vascular dementia and so on. If it is indeed some form of dementia, then knowing the underlying cause IS important as symptoms and progression vary based on the cause. These can vary even if the underlying cause is the same. It depends a lot on what part of the brain is impacted, and likely is also impacted by a person's past, personality and skill set.

But, before getting overly concerned, the best thing to do is get more testing done to eliminate other causes (some medical conditions can cause dementia-like behavior or symptoms.) Rule out what you can, then the docs should focus on what the cause is, if nothing is found. Good checkup, blood work, urine culture, etc. Some kind of scan can determine if there's been a stroke, TIA, and possibly other changes in the brain.

Knowledge is your best defense when dealing with these kinds of issues. Hope for the best, plan for the worst (others suggested getting all legal documents in order - that applies to ALL of us, not just those with issues!!!)

Although we never had testing done, my mother was also able to "appear" somewhat normal to others. She was 90ish at the time this started. Even my brothers didn't notice it until long after I brought it up. I just had to work it out myself and plan/help where I could. Even after they realized something was wrong, they didn't take the time to learn or understand. In her case, I believe it was vascular dementia. This does tend to hit plateaus and "stabilize", then a drop off can happen, with another stabilization. She was on medication for high BP for many years, so this would predispose her to vascular issues. Possible TIAs? Hearing loss can also contribute (she wore hearing aids for a long time.) She made it to 97, the last 4 years in MC, but it was strokes that took her, not the dementia.

She really didn't really have issues with words - only once that I can recall, saying my YB didn't seem "friendly" when asking if I'd seen or heard from him. I don't think that's what she meant, but sometimes you just go with the flow. The big signal was repetition, repeating statements and questions in short time spans. Misplacing one's wallet or keys isn't always a sign of dementia. Putting them in odd places maybe more likely. Being able to retrace your steps and possibly finding the "lost" item can help determine if it's just aging or not.

I would get with his doctor (doesn't have to be the neuro) and start with the simpler tests, to rule out other medical issues (infections, UTI and others, can do odd things as we age!) If nothing shows up, then perhaps go for imaging (this may require working with the neuro, though regular doc might be able to coordinate or order the testing initially.)

If it is some kind of dementia, keeping him active, both physically and mentally, can help delay the progression in some cases. This is why it is important to determine the cause/type, if they can, because there are differences in symptoms and progression and different ways of dealing with the behaviors and symptoms depending on the cause.

Meanwhile, get all the legal issues in order - these are important no matter who we are or what issues, if any, we have. You never know what tomorrow might bring...
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Well this is tricky. My co workers father got early onset ALZ, and was still going to work,,, until one day they drove him home and said no more.. he was fired. He was heartbroken, and it was a wake up call for the family. How would your husband handle this? What type of job is he the boss at?
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I’m assuming he was checked for a stroke/TIA that might have caused some aphasia? Stroke and dementia can cause some similar speech problems. Not saying this is likely given he’s under the care of a neurologist but we all know things can get over looked when they don’t look and quack like the duck being followed.
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Every one is different.

You might have husband start taking vitamins that help the memory.

Also he should have a urine and blood work done to make sure he doesn't have a UTI or deficiency in Iron, ect.

Prayers
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I have to ask if the word mix ups and fluency create problems at work?
It would depend on the type of work he does. Someone that has to take phone calls, instruct other people and communicate with others is going to have a problem doing their job. If he works alone and is otherwise self motivated he can probably work without much of a problem.
You say he is the boss...does he have a boss or does he run the company?
If he owns the company has there been any thoughts as to what to do when he can no longer function effectively? And before the company suffers.
If he works for the company It might be time to look at a retirement plan before it gets to the point where he is fired.
Dementia usually does not "stabilize" there is a continued decline. Sometimes slowly sometimes rapidly depending on the type of dementia.
You can have another doctor repeat the testing for a second opinion and to rule out any other medical causes. But it is a good idea to plan for the worst. Even if the problems have been caused by another medical condition damage to the brain does not reverse. The brain may find new pathways but damage done is damage done.
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
Hi gramma,
Im a new gramma myself and love it! He is actually the owner of several businesses. He's so angry at the neuro doc who did all the testing, he will never go back. Refuses all meds. Refuses any more evaluation. Just wants to be left alone!
None of his employees or staff know the dx. He is super private.
If they suspect anything, no one would dare say it.....to him or me...I pray they will soon!
He Just agreed do do the DPOA etc...but says I'm not dead yet!
I told him it's for my peace of mind...
He can chat and joke and act normally all day and at conferences, weddings, & events, but is mentally exhausted at the end of the day.
Praying is all I can do at the moment....
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My first reaction to these symptoms is he had a stroke. Please get him evaluated by another neurologist for a 2nd opinion. Sadly, many doctors are way too quick to attach dementia to a person who is older. Just because doctor #1 is a neurologist, does not mean he specializes in this. Find one whose practice is Alzheimer's, and all dementias. It needs to be ruled out that it wasn't a stroke.

I was given a home healthcare admission to evaluate a woman given a new diagnosis of Alzheimer's. The daughter was present. The woman was pleasant but clearly not fully aware. A few minutes into getting data, the daughter said to me, "I don't think it's Alzheimer's." I asked her what made her think that. "Up to 2 weeks ago she would go to bingo and do a 20 card game." I told her as a nurse I wasn't allowed to diagnosis but it sounded more like a stroke to me. Alzheimer's does not come on like that. She took my advice, took mom to Mass General and indeed the diagnosis was stroke. We came back with Occupational Health to work with her on memory.

Good luck getting the right answers or at least confirming and beginning to make future plans (including POA for health and finance).
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
Getting MORE testing, and not just neuro, is important. While it may be dementia or a stroke, there are several medical conditions that can cause dementia-like symptoms.

Honestly, that neuro doesn't sound like he does a thorough job, although that could be because you only reported doc said it could stabilize. If that's all he said, I'd consider his ability iffy! Did he actually diagnose dementia? Did he perform testing and scanning? Did he mention a stroke or TIA? Did he identify the underlying cause? If he only did a cursory exam and questioned him (or you), then he hasn't done his job!

Dementia is just an umbrella term that covers many types of cognitive disorders. He could have one or it could be something else. YOU definitely need more input. We aren't doctors, so we can't really say, esp based on the limited information we have.

See my response to sjplegacy
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Dementia is usually caused by one of 3 disease processes.

Alzheimer's dementia is the most common type. This one is progressive and what most people think of when they think of "dementia." Usually this one starts with decision-making problems. Problems with memory show up a bit later. It is progressive and will become more and more debilitating. How soon depends on the person. There are medications to deal with the earlier stages.

Vascular dementia is the next common type. Some have theorized that Alzheimer's dementia is also a type of vascular dementia. This one is caused by either a blood clot (or multiple blood clots) or a "bleed" in the brain that damages brain cells. Depending on where the damage is, there is a problem in behavior or movement or some ability. If anybody has signs of a stroke, get them to the emergency department within 3 hours and the clot-type stroke can be reversed. If a person who tends to get strokes is managed medically by a doctor, the dementia should not progress since there will be less chance of new clots or bleeding in the brain.

Parkinson's disease is the least common type of dementia. Usually the stiffness is the early symptoms and the dementia is a much later symptom. Unfortunately, this one progresses as well. There is medication to help manage the earlier stages.

The only way to know what you are dealing with is to get an evaluation. Some family doctors are able to do this. All neurologists are skilled in this type of evaluation and treatment.
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
Yep. Done! :)
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Like Grandma1954 I wondered how well he was able to function at work and if his speech issues cause any problems or confusion there.
The speech difficulties do sound a lot like aphasia which can be brought on by a stroke.
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
Yes two previous strokes and significant neurodegenerative decline over a year.But most days he's still normal acting...some socially strained behaviors, but most people would not notice! So weird!
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Aphasia (difficulty finding a word or articulating a thought) is sometimes the first symptom of dementia. Combined with short-term memory issues, you and he should make plans for it to get worse. Dementia comes on differently for each person, and it can come on slowly, but it never gets better. There are some medications that are supposed to help stabilize it, but the proof of whether they are effective is still not there. My mother was taking these medications, and eventually got worse. While he can still think clearly, make sure that all of his paperwork is in order, and it's good to do it for yourself, too. He needs to have a succession plan for his business, or a plan for closing it down, if he becomes incapable of handling it. Maybe now is a good time for him to sell his business, if he can, with an arrangement that he'll stay on for a few years to help with the transition. He also needs to set up power of attorney, in case he is incapacitated. POA is needed for financial and medical matters. You both should also have a living will with your medical directives, and a will, many financial institutions have their own POA forms, you need to be on file with Social Security and Medicare to be able to speak on his behalf. If he resists, try to pursuade him that this is just good to have. All the best to both of you! You could also have his doctor review any medications he is currently taking to make sure that none of them are causing harmful side effects.
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Restlessremedy Sep 2021
Very good advice!
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My heart goes out to you. ((HUGS))
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I think the answers you have here are thorough and excellent. Just to say, my husband is in early stage for the last 3 years. Every now and then a big forget to remind me it will progress.
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My stepdad had dementia and it appeared to be mild beginning stages.

His daughter was in denial, she thought that his having been a university prof and accountant meant his brain was strong enough to ward it off.

After he died of cancer, Mum asked me to help her with some bookkeeping he had done in the past for an organization she belonged to. I had to redo 12 months of accounting. In the early months it was minor mistakes, later the mistakes were compounded and impossible to fix. So I restarted from the last audit. There were other things on the computer that were worrying. He had forgotten how to create spreadsheets and there were hundreds of saved attempts.

But in the surface, if you had a conversation with him, all you noticed was the occasional inappropriate comment or misuse of words.
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
Oh! My goodness!!!! This is a stunning thought. Husband is a CpA....... Gotta figure out now what to do.....
No one knows his dx yet.....
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Recently someone said ‘check for B12 deficiency’. WOW! I had slight word loss and started B12. Wonderful result! Now my husband who has memory problems agreed to try B12. We have not eaten MEAT for about 12 years and are otherwise very healthy. I checked online to verify B12 benefits.

MANY, MANY thanks to whoever said check for B12!!!

Thank you all for this site.

sincerely, Happy Wife
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SatchimosMom Sep 2021
My maternal grandfather died of pernicious anemia (extreme B12 deficiency). He also had an Alzheimer’s diagnosis at the time. His symptoms were severe. I wondered for years if his symptoms were caused by Alzheimer’s or the B12 deficiency.
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Have him evaluated for all possible causes of his symptoms. This is critical for treating the cause appropriately. Early treatment can slow many symptoms.

If he is disabled by the symptoms use the evaluation to apply for social security disability benefits. This can be a long process with denials and reapplications.

Once he is on social security he should have medical coverage and income.

Make sure you get POA, medical power of attorney, advice directive, trusts and wills done now. An elder attorney can help and your husband, or you may have access through his or your employee assistance program.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
"Once he is on social security he should have medical coverage..."

Although there may be special situations, in general if one is approved for SS disability, one qualifies for Medicare 2 years later, even if the person isn't 65 yet.

He is so close to the "early" retirement age that he may fall under this Medicare "rule." Quick recheck implies this is still the case (I had to wait 2 years.)

Just pointing this out so no one assumes they'll automatically get Medicare right away if they get approved for SSDI. There could be exceptions, but this is the general rule.
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Everyone is different. But can you drive & pick him up from work? It would be awful if he forgot where he was going, or what a red light means, etc. I think just taking precautionary steps to keep him safe is all you can do right now. Make sure he turns the stove/oven off, doesn’t slip on ice, etc. I would also help him start preparing to retire so employees will be in place to manage for him as he works less. Ive found that staying one step ahead helped my stress considerably. It’s heartbreaking to see the decline of someone you love, but you have to be strong because they need to lean on you & they rely & count on us.
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Dear Patti2021,
I write from the patients perspective. I was diagnosed 5 yrs ago with Early Onset ALZ. I had my third Neuropsych Exam Mar 1 of this year, I received the results in late April with a diagnosis of Moderate to Severe Stages. When I was first diagnosed, I had very little trouble many didn't believe I had ALZ. I only began having word mix ups, no rarely confused vs now lots of times I am confused and have trouble following along with discussions. What I had trouble with Early on, was I had been in the Travel Industry for forty years. The last two yrs I was not meeting my goals and I had difficulty learning new Accounting Systems,, and Airline Reservations systems. I was fired for failing to meet those goals. Only then did my doctors say, oh we have to look into this more. I had a CAT Scan, Neuropsych Exam. When my Neuro doctor of 11 yrs at that point said, I should never go back to work, that it would not be fair to me nor my employer, and most important, my clients.
When I received the results of the Third Neuropsych Exam, my Neuro Doctor couldn't believe it. I was told in addition to the new diagnosis, I was also told that I required 24/7 care and supervision. My DW and children three of whom are adults and my teenage daughter, note, yes I have trouble now finding words, I stopped driving on my own 19 months ago. My Neuro Doctor said I am the first patient in her 20yrs of practice that ever surrendered their drivers license. The DMV didn't know what to do with me. The said the only people surrendering their license have been sent to them by the Courts or their Doctors.
I did score in the lowest 1% of men my age on the test. My DW and I arranged to have a follow up appointment with the Neuro Psychologist to make sense of the report. He said, he'd never had a patient who scored as poorly as I did who could carry on a conversation and ask question for an hour like I did. He told us what was different about his test vs my previous two was that his exam was based on Critical Thinking Skills. Anyone who knows me, would say they'd ever believed I could have a Critical Thinking answer ever. Proof positive, one can have a successful career without Critical Thinking Skills, when you are planning vacations around the world. Once I received the ALZ Diagnosis, things made sense to me and my DW. I retired and have been doing enough Volunteer Work that I have never had a bored moment in the 5 yrs I've been retired.
In addition to no longer driving, my DW told me it was time to turn in the credit cards, and access to cash. I did lose 4 credit cards that I've never been able to find somewhere in our house. We both have exceptional credit scores and we haven't ever had to pay interest on a credit card, they've always been paid in full. I still look at the bills, I write out the checks which my DW looks over and she then puts them in the envelopes and mails off the bills. I did that for the first 25 yrs of our married life. A couple of times I sent the wrong payment check with the wrong bill. I urge all patients that read this to think over these issues and make plans with your husband, wife or adult children in your life, and have discussions on how to handle these issues as they arise. We all walk the same journey, but we all travel our own route. I've learned alot from many of the posters to this forum and I hope my comments have helped others as I have been helped. God Bless you all, John
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karenchaya Sep 2021
I had tears when I read your answer. My own mom had dementia and Alzheimers before she died, and I am 74 and starting to forget things. At 72, when it was starting to happen, I had a test from neurology and they didn't find anything wrong at that time. But it is getting worse, so I know that each year, I should get tested again. I've prepared my grown sons about what to expect and apologized in advance for if I should ever forget who they are. I am already forgetting how old they are, when are the birthdays, and switching up memorable events so I don't remember which kid did which thing. For medicines, I made some spreadsheets on the computer so I won't forget when to take which one. Thank you for sharing your own experiences. I so appreciate this.
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What a wonderful wife you are to him. You are his angel. I don't know about this, but there are neurological specialists who can give him an MRI or CAT scan and tell you more about the progression of his mental decline. Is he aware of it and what has he said about it? Would he be willing to go in for a complete workup in Neurology? That is the specialist who can more inform the two of you of what to expect. Not a primary doctor.
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
Yes thanks. Neuropsych testing revealed significant degenerative declines in one year. Was told to retire....cut back... A man who started and runs several complex businesses.. it's been very difficult.
Thanks. Blessings
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The diagnosis path is not the same for everyone .. My man was tested 4 years ago. He is retired but was still driving and sounds very much like what you just described.. His diagnosis was Mild Cognitive Impairment .. That was a BaseLine , multi day test … A few months ago he was tested again . The results were Moderate Neurodegenerative disease. Everything slipped with the exception of the depression he had . That improved, I am sure it is because of the antidepressant he is on . He has not driven a car for over a year . I sold the other car. My feeling was if he can not find his way home or use a phone or use the TV remote anymore, he shouldn’t be driving . The decline speed is different for everyone. He still talks about get another car and I tell him he would have to get a new drivers license . I don’t feel bad about the fiblet because he forgets about it until the next advertisement comes in the mail . It means I have to do all the driving but better safe than sorry . His last test results said they would have suggested he stop driving it he already had not.
About a year and a half ago I found a great OnLine “CareTakers” meeting and have have been attending faithfully. It has been so informative and helpful. I have also been tired and depressed. He lost all the things he loved to do , and I lost who he used to be .. A visit to my own doctor , an antidepressant and therapy ( one on one) for me has helped both of us . My understanding of what he is going thru has helped my frustration and anger of the extra amount of work that is falls on me these days . I never expected to be a CareTaker but he never expected to need one . In his reality , there is nothing wrong with him . It is not denial as we know it it is something called ANOSAGNOSIA.
prayers are with you ..
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
We are sisters in spirit. Thanks so much. He's angry he'll never fly again (pilot). He denies driving problems, but made an almost serious judgement error Saturday.
Angry he won't see his grandbabies grow up. I'm angry at everything going black in our lives and future...
Life just sucks some days. Other days we are relaxed, cheerful laughing as if nothing is wrong. It feels like one of us is crazy. What a life. Blessings to you.
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Has your husband had a neuropsycological exam? There are so many kinds of dementia. My dad was diagnosed with dementia and if he drank alcohol he was fully cognitive and able to speak without any issues finding words etc. While I do not believe that alcohol is a direction to take, it is just what was noticed. Because of this the doctors were able to figure he was vascular dementia as the alcohol opened up the blood vessels. My husband is diagnosed with dementia and while it is mild to moderate, he is on a patch which helps slow the progression and he does think a little clearer when his patch is in full swing. Because it is a 24 hour patch it wears down about mid day of the follow day, or about 4-5 hours before he needs a new one. He is supposed to apply at night as it also helps with sleep patterns. He may require an increase of dose but, that is unknown until next month neurologist appointment.
Certain foods can enhance the brain and others can make dementia worse. I would discuss his diet with his PCP as well as neurologist. Dementia can be due to deficiencies in vitamins, infections and more. Our son is only 38 and has been diagnosed with dementia, his is due to neurological impingements in his spine/neck.
I agree with many other posters, make sure his diagnosis has had every possible scenario tested.
Best wishes
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
Yep. Neuro testing confirmed significant neurodegenerative changes in one year indicative of early alzh.
Thanks
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Patti2021: Imho, perhaps he needs an M.R.I., which is the gold standard for dementia.
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Has his doctor started him on any dementia drugs? My brother in law who sees a neurologist noticed the first signs of dementia with him started him on Namzaric which combines 2 medications into one pill. It slowed his down for awhile but we are noticing now his short term memory is gone now. The neurologist helped me get representative payee for my brother in law's social security because we knew at that time he was going thru money and if we would have left it alone he wouldn't have a place to live so I stepped in and took over that was 3 yrs ago and he has been in the place where he lives now for over 5 yrs.

I would get a good diagnosis from a neurologist to see where your husband is and if there are things that you can do for him.
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
Refused all drugs. He's expecting to not live long. God bless you
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Please research the Bredesen Protocol. It may give you some time and hope.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
Never heard of it, so looked it up...

"In general, it involves diet changes such as eliminating simple carbohydrates and processed foods; regular exercise; stress reduction; good sleep habits; supplements like fish oil, curcumin and vitamin D; and, in some cases, hormone therapy."

MOST of these "changes" are recommended for EVERYONE, to be healthier. In some cases it might indeed help us to avoid some forms of dementia, or delay it at least, but cure? The only cure I see is keeping this doc's wallet fat.

University of California San Francisco, 2020:

https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2020/05/417431/pricey-protocol-not-proven-prevent-or-reverse-alzheimers-says-ucsf-neurologist

Pay no attention to that man behind the green curtain... But do PAY that man!!! Sure sounds like some pricey quakery to me... Again, some BENEFICIAL effects from lifestyle changes, reducing weight, heart disease, cholesterol, keeping us HEALTHY and ACTIVE, but curing dementia? Not likely.
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Hello. My doc found out that i have white matter disease when i had an mri after i told her that im having sight problems after my ophthalmologist said my eyes are in excellent ... physical ... condition. Im not processing seeing.

im 81.

i dont know how difficult or expensive an mri is if theres no physical problems to verify but you could ask.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
:-(
That's the one thing I've said for a long time that I wouldn't want to lose - eyesight.

Of course having been down the dementia path with my mother, that's another, but that's a whole different ball game. Until she had a stroke, further disabling her, I kept her Mac Deg treatments going, to preserve her eyesight. She liked to "read" the paper and magazines, and REALLY liked sale flyers. With her quickly fading hearing and dementia, I wanted her to retain her eyesight..

Deepest sympathies to you dearest, I can't even imagine....
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My husband was diagnosed in February 2018 after I noticed his confusion driving to Durango CO in June 2017. Testing found dementia due to alcohol. He used to drink daily, mostly beer in the later years (he is now 83). I would tell him he's killing his brain cells, but it didn't matter what I said or did. He no longer drinks due to doctor's orders, also no driving. He has become more introverted. We lived in Henderson NV for 30 years and recently moved to be close to family and now live in Aztec NM, near Farmington NM. He does the same thing he did before: gets up, walks the dog, has coffee, etc. and reads the newspaper. Then would go out on the patio, smoke a cigar and play a handheld poker game. While I discussed the move extensively with him, we drove and flew out to see the house we purchased he now says what I did was unforgivable...taking away his car keys. We currently live with our son, who is doing the renovation on the house we bought. We've been here since April 26, 2021. The house should be complete in a few weeks. In the meantime, my husband complains because we've been here 3 months. I don't correct him and say it's been 4 months! I'm hoping once we get in our own house he may have a better attitude. To answer your question it doesn't get better. He's on Memantine and Donepizil, which may halt the progression but who knows. What's sad for me is we've been married 57 years but he seldom acts as if I'm his wife. Mostly continues to grouse about his lot in life.
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
Thank you for the response. Life is sure full of surprises...not good ones I'm afraid.
God bless you .
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First pray and ask God for guidance. Get a second opinion. Further get thorough labs taken. Find a nurtionist and go on YouTube look up dr. Bernard and dr. Klaper he has his own website. He’s also seeing ppl on tele health . I did one on one. Go to plant base health. Sometimes it’s the foods we’re eating snd or not eating. I believe with the Grace if God and you follow through you will be Blessed also, listen to intouch. Org. Much Blessings to you and your family.
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My mother is 94 with pretty advanced dementia & still knows my name. She occasionally forgets my daughter's name and my husband's name, but mine she's good with. There's no 'set pattern' for dementia; nor will an MRI always confirm or deny its presence.

I had my mother tested in 2016 b/c I knew she was going down the dementia road due to her memory problems & other symptoms. She was then diagnosed with progressive dementia after scoring an 18 out of a possible 30 on the MoCa exam. She could not draw a clock for the life of her, so we knew her executive brain function was definitely compromised.

But she could show-time up a storm b/c her social skills were not affected much at all. She dressed well, spoke well, didn't mix up her words, could carry on a social conversation like nobody's business, tricking everyone (including most doctors) into thinking she was perfectly fine. But she wasn't.

She went on like this, with relatively little trouble, for 3 years.

In 2019 after a bout of pneumonia, she was seeing mice crawling on the floor of the hospital when there weren't any. She scored a 10 on the MoCa exam at that time and became wheelchair bound. She was becoming confused with day/time/date as well, but she could still tell you how great you looked, and ask about your husband & children, tricking you into thinking she didn't have dementia at all.

That's when she went from Assisted Living into Memory Care, much to her chagrin because she 'didn't belong there', as she would tell you. But she did. Nowadays at 94.5, she can't remember what day of the week it is, even with the Alzheimer's clock I bought her which blares that information out in large neon green letters for her. She can't remember to look at it. She can't follow a conversation at all, and keeps asking about her dead mother & siblings, wondering why she can't get them on the telephone, in spite of being told they've passed away. She is STILL in possession of her social skills, believe it or not, so she's still tricking people into thinking she's better (mentally) than she is. She just called me to let me know she will be staying at 'the hotel' tonight because she was tired from being taken out to the bingo hall. She wasn't taken anywhere and she lives in the same suite of rooms at the Memory Care she's lived in since 2019.

The doctor was right about my mother's diagnosis in 2016, although she still doesn't believe she has dementia and we don't discuss it; what's the point? She's eaten a healthy diet her whole life, no drinking to speak of, no smoking, no drugs, etc. She was an avid walker her whole life and always watched her weight. I wouldn't call her an intellectual, but dementia has nothing whatsoever to do with one's intelligence or education level.

When I worked in a Memory Care AL, most of the residents were former doctors, lawyers, and engineers in their former careers. Dementia knows no social class, no education level, no income level, no nothing. It's an equal opportunity affliction, unfortunately. The smartest among us can get it and the 'experts' know little to nothing about the human mind to help us navigate the road or the journey to help our loved ones with it.

How long will this stage of your DHs issue last? Who knows. Nobody can tell you that. Just enjoy each day and relish your time together, that's my suggestion. Spend time together and do things you love to do. Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow in this life anyway, with or without dementia.

Wishing you the very best of luck finding peace and happiness, whatever tomorrow holds.
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
Leah, thank you for all your responses. You would be such a great friend and resource for me. I appreciate all your responses. God bless you. This is scary isn't it?!
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I was in denial in the early stages as well. Start planning NOW because he may advance quickly. My husbands friends thought I was making up stories because he seemed so “ normal” to them but only 6 months later things have gone way down hill . Good luck. This is an evil disease for all of us💜
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Patti2021 Sep 2021
So so sad... Thanks.
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Vascular dementia progresses in steps with plateaus in between. Little strokes (TIAs) carve away over time. Alzheimers tends to progress more on a curve. Everybody's experience and timeline is unique. There are also other things that can cause dementia, so make sure you rule those things out with your doctor. I don't think losing or misplacing things is as significant as not being able to figure out what common things are for. Good nutrition and exercise can delay progress in the initial stages.
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