This is a good time to revert to the time when you had toddlers. Remember when you'd narrate your day with a small child as you went through it? Do that again.
"So, Bob, I thought today I'd go work in the garden and plant some flowers." Take him outside with you, and keep talking -- "These are begonias. I think they'll be red and pink. Do you think they'll look nice?" (Don't expect or worry about the answer.)
Discuss TV programs you watch together, read the newspaper comics out loud or discuss what's in the news, talk about what you'll put on the grocery list or make for dinner -- just practice having conversations. Yes, they're one-sided conversations, but talking to him keeps his mind stimulated.
My husband who had a massive stroke back in 1996, lost his ability to speak but a few words and short sentences. And I am a talker, so over the many years, I just continued to talk with him, share my day, my concerns and whatever else was on my mind. His comprehension got worse over the years, so I know he didn't always understand what I was talking about, but it didn't matter, it just felt good to be able to share with the man I loved. And even though his words were few, he always knew when I was having a bad day, and he would open his one arm(the other was paralyzed)for me to come get a hug. He gave the best one armed hugs ever. So the point of my story is, just keep talking to him like you normally would. It doesn't matter if he doesn't respond. He's still part of your life, and can still here you, and still wants to be included in your world. The more you do it, the easier it will become. Also music can be very powerful when someone has lost their speech, as the music part of our brain is separate from the speech part. You might can try playing some of his favorite music and see what happens. I remember when my husband first had his stroke and he couldn't speak a word. The speech therapist came into his room in the hospital, and said to me, watch this. She asked my husband to sing the happy birthday song with her, and as she started to sing, he sang right along with her. I was shocked, as up to that point he hadn't been able to speak a word. It was then that I was told that speech and music come from two separate parts of the brain, so again, that might be worth a try as well. I wish you the very best.
The part of the brain that is used to create speech can become impaired with stroke or dementia. I had one client who had become unable to speak because of a stroke. But singing a song you know is different than originating a sentence and we discovered he could sing. Ok, not well or clearly, but it obviously made him happy. So we sang all his favorite Golden Oldies together. Iit's not the same as conversation but it made him feel like he was participating and it was great fun.
Oh my gosh yes please please continue to talk with him. He may not be verbally able to respond so much but the fact that you are interacting with him means so much. As others have said talk with him about your day what are you plan to do what other family members friends are doing or about memories of the past. Read a book to him sing a song bring him up on current positive events in the newspaper. My gosh yes please talk and interact with him.
My dad wasn't able to talk except to nod his head yes/no but he seemed to understand what I was saying and listened. So I just talked about the weather, what I had been doing, or sat and watched TV. Just talk as normal but don't ask questions that are complicated. Simple yes or no. I got used to it. So it is more talking at him and smiling.
My Husband was 90% non verbal the last 9 years or so of his life. He made noises and occasionally would say a word but there was NO conversation. I would talk to him just as I always had. Yes a response would have been nice but often the look in his eyes or a smile on his face was all I needed. So ... Talk to him about your day. If you are taking him out babble on about where you are going and what you will do. Tell him what the kids are doing If you have a birdfeeder at home tell him about the birds you have seen. ANY conversation is fine.
I think the idea of putting him in an apartment with caregivers will isolate him more. In a facility there are more people to try to engage him. If the idea of an apartment is realistic why not move him back home with the same caregivers round the clock. He will have you as well as the caregivers to keep him engaged. Is he a candidate for Adult Day Care? If so moving him home, going to Day care might be stimulation enough.
Communicate as you would normally do. He can probably still hear and appreciate your voice/words even if he can not reciprocate in the conversation. If you are at a loss for topics, try reading to him: the local news, a book, the Bible...
My mother got that way, so I started reading to her. The Bible (she particularly liked Psalms and would smile when I would read them to her), poems she had written, etc. Look through some of his stuff and see if he had any books tucked away he was keeping. Men like Game Warden books, sports books, workshop magazines, etc. My husband subscribes to Handyman magazines and loves a section where people write in things that went wrong and how they fixed them. Most of all, don't stop talking to him or going to see him. You won't ever regret the time you spent doing this and the memories of these times will bring you comfort many, many times.
Continue to talk to your husband. It'll be mostly a monologue on your part, but he can hear you, and he'll know you are there with him. Grandma1954, along with the other posts, have some excellent conversation ideas. I used some of these ideas when talking to my wife when in her final stages of AD (heck, I still talk to her at her graveside). Make yourself a list of topics to serve as your prompt.
Probably the most common side effect of dementia is depression. That can be treated. It is not a reason to move him. Talk to his doctor. The next step in his care plan would not be his own apartment, it would be memory care. 24 hour care would be much more expensive than MC, would create more isolation, and wouldn't offer any social contacts.
"So, Bob, I thought today I'd go work in the garden and plant some flowers." Take him outside with you, and keep talking -- "These are begonias. I think they'll be red and pink. Do you think they'll look nice?" (Don't expect or worry about the answer.)
Discuss TV programs you watch together, read the newspaper comics out loud or discuss what's in the news, talk about what you'll put on the grocery list or make for dinner -- just practice having conversations. Yes, they're one-sided conversations, but talking to him keeps his mind stimulated.
And even though his words were few, he always knew when I was having a bad day, and he would open his one arm(the other was paralyzed)for me to come get a hug. He gave the best one armed hugs ever.
So the point of my story is, just keep talking to him like you normally would. It doesn't matter if he doesn't respond. He's still part of your life, and can still here you, and still wants to be included in your world. The more you do it, the easier it will become.
Also music can be very powerful when someone has lost their speech, as the music part of our brain is separate from the speech part. You might can try playing some of his favorite music and see what happens.
I remember when my husband first had his stroke and he couldn't speak a word. The speech therapist came into his room in the hospital, and said to me, watch this. She asked my husband to sing the happy birthday song with her, and as she started to sing, he sang right along with her. I was shocked, as up to that point he hadn't been able to speak a word. It was then that I was told that speech and music come from two separate parts of the brain, so again, that might be worth a try as well. I wish you the very best.
Iit's not the same as conversation but it made him feel like he was participating and it was great fun.
I got used to it.
So it is more talking at him and smiling.
He made noises and occasionally would say a word but there was NO conversation.
I would talk to him just as I always had. Yes a response would have been nice but often the look in his eyes or a smile on his face was all I needed.
So ...
Talk to him about your day.
If you are taking him out babble on about where you are going and what you will do.
Tell him what the kids are doing
If you have a birdfeeder at home tell him about the birds you have seen.
ANY conversation is fine.
I think the idea of putting him in an apartment with caregivers will isolate him more. In a facility there are more people to try to engage him.
If the idea of an apartment is realistic why not move him back home with the same caregivers round the clock. He will have you as well as the caregivers to keep him engaged. Is he a candidate for Adult Day Care? If so moving him home, going to Day care might be stimulation enough.
Probably the most common side effect of dementia is depression. That can be treated. It is not a reason to move him. Talk to his doctor. The next step in his care plan would not be his own apartment, it would be memory care. 24 hour care would be much more expensive than MC, would create more isolation, and wouldn't offer any social contacts.
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