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The VA website can be confusing. However, this may help. http://www.vba.va.gov/bln/21/pension/vetpen.htm#7
It is my experience that the reps are not too helpful. Be persistent. After a year or so of a run around, my mother now qualifies for and is receiving Aid and Attendance benefits.
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I found the VA very helpful in my area (Coatesville, PA), but hard to get in touch with at times. Once you get involved they are extremely helpful with social workers, nurses, prescription drugs, doctors and even day care. I would use the web site to find out who in your area to contact and the key word is to be persistent. I know it takes a lot of work at times, but in the end it will pay off. Lots of Luck.
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I was also going to suggest the VA in your area. Also your aging area agency. Try googling or dogpiling them. Good luck!
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