My grandmother who is nearly paralyzed with severe Myositis has to go to the bathroom in coffee cups which disgust me. Other options??

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My grandmother who is nearly paralyzed with severe Myositis has to go to the bathroom in coffee cups which disgust me. Other options??

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I’m not her caregiver but I’m at her house almost every day so I have to watch her pee in these coffee cups while in the kitchen which is absolutely unsanitary. Are there other options such as like sanitary pee jars?? (like the ones that are at the doctors except with no lid). She has to do this because she can’t stand to walk into the bathroom and a portable toilet is out of the question.

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From your previous post it sounds as though she has plenty enough mobility to use other options, or at the very least to get herself into her bathroom or bedroom for privacy while she takes care of business. Either your grandmother isn't firing on all cylinders or she is being wilfully ignorant and gross, and your grandfather's tolerance of the behaviour means that applies to him as well... as far as I can see this is no different than if an able bodied person was peeing in the kitchen trash can in front of company and has nothing to do with her physical disability.
Why would you have to watch what she is doing? Tell her she what she is doing is gross and unsanitary and leave. Full stop.

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Search Amazon for 'urinals for women' and you will see a lot of cost effective options.

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You’ve posted about this before, and since you're
posting again, it sounds like not much been done to help Grandma and Grandpa. You said before that Grandma likes her wine. Does anyone know exactly how much she’s actually drinking?i know you said she hides the bottle under the sink, but if she’s doing her own shopping, she could be stashing bottles all over the house. Not only does it make you have to pee more, it’s not a healthy way to live. I know you said you’re not “allowed” to tell Grandpa she’s peeing in cups and jars, but you”think” he knows. I’d hope so since those cups and jars should be thrown away and not used for beverages.

Is your family being at all proactive about Grandma and Grandpa’s situation and their care? Who cares for them when the health aide isn’t there? They seem to need more help than 3 times a week.

You sound like a very loving and concerned granddaughter. I know how grossed out you must be about Grandma’s behavior. It’s not easy to watch someone who’s been there for you all your life deteriorate like this. You need to speak with your family about this. It’s quite possibly the “elephant in the room” and sometimes people just need a reality check.

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I think she only has 2 or 3 glasses of wine a day or at least when I’m there. She thinks she can “do everything herself” and I think this is why my grandfather gets easily agitated when HE seems to take care of everything and he’s completely fine himself. As with the “aide”, I only know they come at least 3 times a week (I don’t know the full schedule regarding them as I’m never there in the early mornings when this person comes) and they both seem to like this person (I’ve never met them but Grandma said they are very nice). I am thinking about telling my grandfather privately about what she’s doing but I don’t want to get my mom or my family upset and then he has to call everyone to the house for a meeting again which we’ve done before regarding her getting someone to help her in the morning. As for the wine bottle she keeps under the kitchen sink, I’ve seen it with my own eyes and she keeps like 3 extra bottles in the cabinet out in the laundry room but I don’t think she has touched those. My aunt and uncle do sometimes visit (they have been coming over a lot this summer which is nice) and my uncle sometimes cooks jambalaya for all of us (one time he cooked us this really nice salmon and it was very good) but as far as her eating goes, she did have some swallowing issues but she’s fine now and she can eat without any problems. If there was a major problem, I think we would have already addressed it

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Natya67 has a good idea below, and honestly, if a cup is working for Grandma, then even a male urinal would work, and at least has a handy lid. I am assuming her choice of urination is a matter of being not being able easily to get up and down off toilet and wheelchair (as she is "nearly paralyzed"); in all honesty, when I had the beginnings of a bad back from sciatica, and for about a week, getting up and down was so excruciating, and required cane and walking stick, and our bladders don't get stronger with age. You likely don't have a whole lot of control over any of this, so it is kind of a "save it for your great American novel" moment. Good luck. Just leave the room when Grandma, goes, and be certain there are sanitary handwipes in her reach hanging off the wheelchair. You might also visit a medical supply site either online or where you live to see what handy-dandy "gifts" you can find out there for Grandma, because it would be awful to think anyone might mistake Grandma's cup for their own apple juice.

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https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Health-Personal-Care-Female-Urinals/zgbs/hpc/3775241#nav-top

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I actually found like a “pee bottle” on Amazon today and printed it out so I could show Grandma but she doesn’t know if it would work because it’s designed for kids
https://www.amazon.com/ONEDONE-Portable-Child-Potty-Urinal-Emergency-Training/dp/B07M6VB64C?th=1

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My grandmother who is nearly paralyzed with severe Myositis has to go to the bathroom in coffee cups which disgust me. Other options??

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