Follow
Share

My grandmother says she wants to die, she says what's the need for her to be alive? She says she is feeling bad about herself. She keeps saying why am I still Alive. She lives with my aunt in the village, we don't always see her.sometimes when we visit her she starts crying and says when will God take me? I feel very sad and sorry for her when I see her bored and despairing of her life. I don't know what to tell her

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
You say Village sovwhere do ur live.

How old is your grandmother?

She may suffere from depression and needs medication to help her. When they get like this, not too much you can do especially when they are very very old.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Your grandmother may well have depression and she may benefit from MD assessment and perhaps a try at low dose antidepressants. HOWEVER, do know that there comes a time when some of our elders are ready to go, and in fact WISH to go. As a nurse I had many tell me that they could not discuss these wishes to make their final exit with their families as their families were in denial and would not hear it. Thus they told their nurses. My own father was able to tell me that he had had a wonderful life but that in his mid 90s he was exhausted, and longed only to stay in bed until his naps morphed into his final rest. He tried so hard for his wife, to get up, to eat, to try to enjoy some few things still, but he was exhausted and wanted to go.
Listen to your grandmother. Tell her you understand she is exhausted with life. Ask her if there is anything the two of you can do together that she would enjoy. Play a funny movie. Mostly just listen and don't try to reassure. Try only to tell her you hear her and you understand, and that you think you know some of how hard this is on her, that you treasure her and don't wish to lose her, but that you understand.
My best to you.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I remember reading an interview with Nancy Reagan a year or so before she died, and she said, "Sometimes I think God just forgot about me." She was so ready to go, but her body kept chugging along and it was really, really hard for her.

I think your grandmother is in the same place. There's not much you can do except to be a sympathetic ear, and if she believes in God, tell her that he must have a plan for her. She is at the end of her life, and it's hard to get excited about anything anymore or to look forward to anything.

Frankly, I don't agree with drugging her for depression. Her feelings are real and legitimate, and she's entitled to feel them.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

When my mother got stuck on saying she wanted to die, I'd commisserate with her. I understand, mom, I don't blame you, but God isn't ready for you yet. You still have work to accomplish here on Earth first. That seemed to stop her in her tracks. If I argued with her, or said OH DON'T SAY SUCH A THING, that would encourage her to keep at it. I think when an old person says such things, they just want a little sympathy or compassion for all of their pain and suffering. Which requires us to agree with them more than anything else.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It's natural to want to 'do' something, to fix things. But I agree with Alva & JoAnn, sometimes elders get like this when very old. Depression or just plain exhaustion. (Or bigger highs & lows of emotional after stroke/TIAs). They start verbalising they are ready to go. Maybe more so with the kindest & most understanding people, hoping they will understand & not judge.

Feel blessed she feels able to be honest with you.
Listen to her. This will make her feel valued.

Tell her she will go when her time comes.
When her maker (depending on her faith) says it's time, or what I say is, when Mother Nature decides.

For her, but also for yourself, to make the visit nicer, maybe think of something joyful to add, no matter how small. Bring bright flowers, recap a fond memory, read aloud from a book. Playing music from her younger days may bring joy. (So much is available now on any smart phone at the touch of an app).

It's fairly normal I think. This is part of aging. Part of your Grandmother letting go.

Kind thoughts to you & your Grandmother today.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My dad often told me he was ready to die. I learned to just say I understood. When the health issues of old age and the many losses pile up, it does become understandable. Hold her hand and assure her of your love and care
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter