My FIL is becoming careless and we are concerned for his safety. Is it time for assisted living?

I would also add one more thing. I have read that our loved ones transition easier if you do not wait too long into their decline. If I could go back in time, I would have transitioned her a little earlier so that she was stronger and more able to be included in even more social activities.

I would skip the Assisted Living and opt for Memory Care.
Unless the Assisted Living is a locked unit.
The problem with AL is that the residents are able to come and go all they usually have to do is sign in and out.
There comes a time when the danger of someone with dementia wandering off is real and potentially fatal.
Safety is priority.

I would suggest an ALF. I kept my mom until she was unable to operate any appliance. She could dress herself, make the bed, and feed herself. She was also on a walker, however all other duties like meds, bathing, grooming etc were my responsibility. I have transitioned her to an ALF (three weeks ago). It was certainly an emotional transition. She seems more alert. The staff is excellent and she is making friends. That is something that she could not do in my home. I visit every day and our visits are now wonderful chats, I have become her daughter again...not just the caregiver. The transition is torture but if you can give it time, it will be the best option.

My mother almost burned her house down twice by leaving things in the microwave too long. The 2nd time happened because my brother bought her another one (he's been in denial of mom's dementia from day 1 but that's another story!).

I wished we had placed mom in the nursing home sooner. She has blossomed, seems very content and the whole staff there are wonderful to her. It's so nice to be a daughter once again instead of a caregiver. Mom is 94.

He needs to be moved to be safe. You may start in AL. But select a community that has with Memory Care too. Good luck!

There should be no question in your mind about 'what to do' here Debster. Your FIL has Alzheimer's and should not be living in Independent Living where he has access to electrical appliances that can electrocute him and kill him quite easily. He cannot 'promise' you anything b/c his mind is now compromised due to a disease. He's not purposely trying to do 'stupid' things.........his logic & reasoning skills are now GONE due to AD. Meaning he belongs in Memory Care Assisted Living where he'll have no dangerous equipment to deal with, and no decisions to make other than which meal to choose at lunch & dinner. Activities will be planned for his mental skill level, and he'll be SAFE and sound, unable to wander off, or electrocute himself by accident, not realizing he's doing something dangerous.

You shouldn't have to be there 24 hours a day while he's in senior living...........he's just in the wrong TYPE of senior living. Move him to Memory Care AL asap and in the meantime, take away all the small appliances, knives, cleaning supplies and anything else that may cause him harm. He can get himself into a BIG mess of trouble now in 2 seconds flat, which includes wandering away and getting lost. It only takes ONE incident to have a crisis on your hands.

Regular AL is not the right setting for FIL either b/c they provide kitchens and other equipment that he is no longer able to operate, including thermostats. You'd be surprised how much simpler life is in Memory Care vs. regular AL; I learned that when I had to move my mother from AL into MC back in 2019; her world was greatly shrunken down which made her life SO much simpler and safer, thankfully.


Read this 33 page booklet for insight about Alzheimers & Dementia:

Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller 
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580



Good luck!

Your dad is no longer safe unsupervised in independent living and requires a higher level of care. He can also start a fire.

I dont know if going off the deep end is yelling at him or just freaking out. I hope you didn't go off on him. He can't help it. So yelling at him won't do any good. Just makes him feel bad.
He's going to cont to go downhill. Can you pop over and make breakfast and put a few salads or dinners in the fridge for the week? Maybe some eggs and he can microwave it. But who knows if he will put it in for 20 mins, not 2. Or not take plastic wrap off the dish.
It is probably is time, because you had to turn the stove off. It's going to keep happening.
Unless you get a worker to come in and do some caregiving. Or you do it. Maybe pop in 2x a day if you can. How about a cam so you can see him and what he is up to, to keep an eye on him? Might work for awhile. Good luck.
A caregiver is much cheaper than a nursing home.

We had to remove the toaster ourselves which was the one appliance she was able to use. She stuck a dish towel on it while it was making toast and burned the dish towel. Almost started a fire in the kitchen. She also does not know how to use the microwave anymore. If he lives by himself you have to take his safety into account.

Deb, your FIL needs a professional "needs assessment". His doctor can order one.

This will tell you what level of care he needs.

Not Independent Living.