My father, who is in his 5th year of vascular dementia, craves sweets. How do I get him to eat regular food?

Its because with Dementia, they lose their smell and taste. Sweets they can taste and its an immediate satisfaction.

Have you discussed this with his doctor? I wonder if artificial sweeteners in larger amounts would help. Some of the foods for diabetics are ver sweet.

How old is your dad? At some point, I think that you should just leave him be.

A good friend of mine had her mom in a NH in Hospice Care. All she wanted to eat was those Lindt chocolates. My friend fought her on this, but her mom had MANY suppliers of these, and finally, she realized that her mom had no joys left in life and these were the one thing she really enjoyed.

It didn't hasten her death and she died with the taste of her beloved chocolate on her lips. IF she had her chocolate stash, she was far more willing to eat 'real food' instead of bingeing on chocolates all day.

I'm sure it mean a lot more insulin shots, but, hey, she had so little joy left in her life by the end.

Being that vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all the dementias with a life expectancy of only 5 years, and your father is in his 5th year, I would say just let him eat whatever he wants to. He's going to die sooner than later anyway so why not let him enjoy his final time here on earth eating what he enjoys?

A lady in my caregiver support group's mom who lived to be 103. lived on chocolate, ice-cream and cashews, the last 5 years of her life.
That's the kind of diet that I want to be on in my final years. I'm just saying.
And nobody better try and stop me either.

My mom's cardiologist said, at her age, she's earned the right to eat whatever she wants and to just let her do it. She eats like a bird as it is, so if it's just pie and cookies, I'm not going to fuss about it. As for your dad, just keep a close eye on his glucose numbers and dose accordingly.

Your dad has little to make him happy with such a difficult diagnosis. If sugar brings him pleasure, so be it. None of us are getting out of here alive, and while it’s smart to monitor what we eat and do our best to eat healthy, there’s a point when it truly doesn’t matter. Five years into the cruelty that is dementia is surely that point

You might try some sweet tasting treats that are not that sweet. Strawberries and low carb or no sugar added ice cream or whipped cream made with splenda can taste sweet while sticking to a lower carb diet. Grapes, fresh corn, watermelon, and cantaloupe are all sweeter tasting than their sugar levels. Sugar free candies and syrups can be consumed in small quantities; my dad loved Hershey's syrup over ice cream and peanut butter. Pound cakes and flavored breads have fewer carbs because they lack the sugary icing of most cakes. There are some low carb "keto" cookies made with almond flour too. Be careful about sugar alcohols; although they do not push glucose levels higher themselves, the body does burn the alcohols before glucose so eating several carbs and sugar alcohols at the same time can push the glucose levels up.

My father always had a sweet tooth but his vascular dementia did seem to enhance it in his last years. Although he did not have diabetes, I did try to limit the amount of pure sugar he consumed without diminishing his pleasure in enjoying sweets. Fortunately he was usually satisfied with smaller amounts as long as he had a sweet with every meal. I am in the camp of allowing an elder to eat an unbalanced diet (if that's what they want) instead of a "good" diet after some disease like vascular dementia strikes as long as it doesn't negatively impact daily life quality. The goal is to enjoy the days that are left; not have more days of questionable quality.

I have the same sweets problem as your dad. So much so, that I was about to sign VentingisSNACK, instead of VentingisBACK.

My dad had chronic kidney failure and then dementia. He enjoyed Big Macs until two weeks ago. He died yesterday.

If the only thing he wants now are cherry pie and doughnuts, my recommendation is to feed him just that and not worry about the diabetes.

My father had diabetes, he died at age 84, after having this disease for 30 years.

Till the day he died he ate sweets, as many as he liked to. He didn't die from the diabetes, he died from small cell lung cancer.

As we age we have very little pleasures left in life, I would let him eat whatever he likes, as long as he is eating.

Grandma1954 August 5, 2023 7:42 am
Honestly....This and this hurts....
Your dad is going to die.
Your dad has a lot of health problems. None of those will ever get better.
If your dad wants sweets I would allow it.
If you can provide a meal that he typically would have enjoyed and, just as you might try to "bribe" a child, tell him if he eats he can have dessert.
You are not going to get him to "understand" that if he eats cookies and ice cream it will adversely effect his health.
I would suggest that if you do not have Hospice yet that you make a call and see if he is eligible. Get the help that you need and the supplies that you need.
(By the way if dad is a Veteran he and your mom may qualify for benefits. Contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission)

Let him eat what he wants and enjoy one of the few pleasures he has left. At this stage in his illness what is the point of denying him his sweets to keep him going longer?

Hello,

Sounds difficult.

How about hiding the sugary foods in locked cupboard, or simply don't buy it, don't take your dad shopping. I suppose it's similar to preventing kids eating it, put it out of reach.

Then I suppose you can give your dad a treat once in a while and maybe he'll get use to the routine? just throwing out an ideas.

I suppose it's like most things people are have cravings for, eventually they'll find a way of getting it, if he still remembers where things are kept, but not keeping it in the house at all might be a good start and then take your dad to eat out once in a while to get a sweet treat.

Sorry to hear your dad has vascular dementia. this must be tough to cope with too.

Take care.

Let him eat sweets. His dying brain is craving them for fuel.

My mother had dementia and lots of heart issues, too. She .lived in memory care AL and I'd load her up with all her favorite sweets, plus she'd order ice cream every day. Why are you trying to prolong your father's suffering with dementia and preventing him from eating what the disease is making him crave? .et him eat what he wants, it's one of the last pleasures he has left in life.

I come down on the side of let him eat it. What other joys does he have left at this point and does it really matter at this point

I guess I dont know the answer this, probably others do: If eating sweets just shortens his life expectancy then who cares?

If sweets make him sick thats different.

Depending on his stage of diabetes, allowing someone to eat whatever they want may have immediate negative impacts on the daily quality of life. Too much sugar can cause dizziness, confusuion, unconsciousness, blindness, and kidney disfunction. So why I agree with allowing a diabetic with vascular dementia to eat more sweets than someone with fairly good health (like my cousin in his 40s), I still believe it is to the person's advantage to try to limit the amount of sugar to something reasonable by using somethings that taste sweeter than they are.

My dad loved whipped cream cake so I whipped the cream with splenda and used unsweetened coconut with some added splenda on a simple white cake. Daddy like the whipped cream frosting more than the cake so I made single layer cake with the frosting layer thicker than the cake.

If we try we can usually find something an elder will like that does not impact their daily quality of life. I do not believe allowing an elder to eat an entire bag of tootsie roll midgets in one sitting because a cognitive disease has reduced their good sense and just allowing the intestinal distress, possible kidney and confusion issues is helpful.

Lealonnie's post reminds me that there comes a time when the struggle to make it all perfect deprives an elder or the few joys they still may have in life.

I would ask the MD to order a nutrition consult. This person can work in your elder's medical system to access records on the severity of the diabetic condition and the results of added sugars. This person also may suggest some testing for the MD to see if there is some imbalance causing this desperate drive for sweets.

I agree with so many others on this thread, that if eating added sweets doesn't cause a severe diabetic crisis in someone who is insulin-dependent (that is to say the added sweets are not in and of themselves deadly) I would opt to a shorter life in terms of quantity in order to have a better quality of life. I am 81. I would hope someone caring for me would make that decision for me.

My mom has vascular dementia also and loves her sweets. She is pre diabetic but doesn’t want to believe it. She can still go out shopping with us and buys s little fruit, yogurt, salad, then heads for the ice cream, she has 5 butter pecan pints in the freezer at home but insists she needs more, if I dare say don’t buy that you already have that at home she gets very mad and starts saying “ don’t buy this dont buy that ! Is there anything I can buy? Its my money I will buy what I want! Then she heads for the candy isle, cookies and chips then we get to the register and she grabs candy bars. Its getting harder and harder, I try to send my husband to the store while she is napping to avoid having to take her along. On one outing to Sams club she bought a book, when we got to the register there was a 10 pack of full size PB cups and a 10 pack of full size twix bars under the book. She ate them all herself. Having her in our home is start to take its toll, she can get around but refuses to bathe, cook for herself, she won’t make tea she just sits down at the table and waits for one of us to wait on her. Does snyone else have the problem of when she urinates she throws the toilet tissue in the trash can and then flushes? Sometimes she doesn’t even flush. In her bedroom she has several vases of silk flowers and she adds water to the vase to make them look real. One occasion she transplanted s live plant on the carpet and got dirt everywhere.

Your father has multiple health issues and is at an advanced age. By limiting his sugar intake, do you think it will extend his life substantially? And if it does increase longevity, to what end? He has multiple heath issues including dementia. Let him enjoy himself with what little makes his life tolerable. You may also want to discuss with his primary care doc about what you father can tolerate regarding foods vs outcomes.