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My father is 77 and mentally sound; ie. pays his own bills, drives, makes and keeps doctor appointments for himself and his dogs. I don’t get phone calls about him being lost or confused. He lives in his own double wide on my property adjacent to where my home is located.



Recently he has decided he is gay, but that's not the problem. However, he has had one of my son's friends (26 yr old male) come to help clean the yard and invited him in for a soda. Long story short, my father behaved in such a way that the young man did not become violent because it was his best friend's grandfather.



Fast forward 4 years. I have a young man (31) staying in my home who just got out of a mental hospital for schizophrenia (my best friend's son). He is on the shot and is getting his life together. My father was made aware of the situation and not to be alarmed by him walking in the yard talking to himself and such. I never thought about my father and his… whatever it is! I went to work to return home to this young man telling me how my father needed help with a shower. To spare the gory details, my father convinced him to let him use his phone to look at porn and touch himself in front of him. This young man said he was just trying to help an old man who was scared to fall in the shower. He ended with, “I took off my glasses so I didn’t have to see. To tell the truth I didn’t appreciate it very much. Do you have something to clean my phone with because I think it’s dirty now.”


My father told him not to tell anyone and he would go to the bank in the morning and get him $100. I am furious with my father. I told him so, I told him he had to leave. I called my aunt, who is POA, and she is no help. My father made out like it was innocent, then he tried to blame the young man, then he ended with he doesn’t remember what happened. He lies!



I called the sheriff's office and they suggested not to put the young man through this since he had a job interview and was moving into an apartment.



My husband thinks I should let it ride because my father is unstable. He will shoot guns out his back door (we live in the country). He feels he might just not care and try to hurt someone. My son refuses to speak to him. My son was the last family member beside my aunt who had any dealing with the man. My son wants him gone, evicted. My son and his pregnant wife were planning to move in at the end of this month. My husband and I are moving to another state to help his mother. So my son is taking care of things here and he no longer feels safe to have his family next door to a predator.



So really my question is: WHAT THE HELL DO I DO??? The law isn’t much help till he actually hurts someone. He is a master manipulator.

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The guns have got to go today. Either that or he goes to a facility.
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Start eviction proceedings immediately. Let the lawyer know the problems with the guns, the sexual assaults and the bribery attempts. If you don’t want to use the incident with the young man with mental issues, and the first one is a bit old, consider getting a willing friend of your son’s to come around, ready primed with with a phone camera. Ask him to write notes immediately after any incident (notes made very quickly have a special status in law). If there are any threats with guns involved, particularly after the eviction proceedings start, call the police.

Make sure that you tell the authorities that he is only 77, gives every evidence of being mentally sound, and how and when you have approached the problem. You don’t want them sympathising with this ‘poor old man’.

One incident in 4 years is a bit unlikely. Perhaps you could find out what is happening in the rest of his life. Even use a private investigator? It’s possible that there are other incidents that will interest the police or help the eviction process.
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Heavy Duty problem here.

I think some heavy duty legal advice is needed.

Morally & logically, you want him out & off your property - as you would any other aging sexual predator living too close to home. Especially considering the age of your son, his friends & pregnant wife.

Father *could* have the start of cognitive decline? Like Fronto-Temporal Dementia or Lewy Body Dementia. These don't show like Alzheimer's with memory loss but changes in personality, inappropriate behaviour & often sexual behaviour comes earlier.

Chance of this man willingly going for a full medical & discussion on his neuro cognitive ability is next to zero.

APS are going to find a man living alone, able to be independant. Unless his home is full of vermin or filth or he is violent towards staff I cannot imagine that will lead anywhere.

Same for Police/Sherrif. He has not broken any laws. Correction! He HAS. But not been charged & found guilty.

I'm going to research & hope others have some ideas.
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IDONTEVENKNOW May 2022
Thank you for your advice. I did call a lawyer and got nowhere, like he didn’t want to deal with an eviction case. I will have to call and find one who will. I agree this *could* be the beginning of cognitive decline. I am actually a Speech path currently providing services in a nursing home and I am pretty certain this is status quo for this man. My father has been manipulating people his whole life, usually people who have the cognitive ability to choose. He fancies himself a mastermind with the ability to get away with anything and everything. This recent act towards a person who is unable to cognitively consent or is easily manipulated is unacceptable. Thank you again for your advice.
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Off the cuff, if all else fails, you sell the properties and move on. Don't leave a forwarding address for the predator to follow.

The next time, if there's a next time, call the police and have him arrested.

As to how to evict him, you need to contact a good attorney that specializes in eviction.
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