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Can my Ex BIL, current POA to ex husb block my visits? State of ME. Me and Ex have a good relationship, in fact I took care of him after divorce until his health rapidly declined. We have 2 adult kids w/ special needs. They need my help and guidance thru this, I'm legal guardian to one kid. What can I do? Tyvm

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See a family law attorney.
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Reply to Geaton777
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I did, she did not have an answer.
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Reply to Kenz59
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The person with the power of attorney can block your visits. Are your children also being denied visits with their father?

Is there someone else related to your ex-spouse whom you could speak to and who might be willing to intercede with your ex-brother-in-law to request that you be allowed a visit with your ex-spouse?
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Reply to Rosered6
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Jada824 Feb 4, 2026
POA cannot block visits unless it would be harmful to patient. They have to act in the elders best interest and h tge ex wants to see the OP
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Is your ex able to speak for himself? If so, that overrides POA. POA is basically for financial matters. IMO, the only way they can block anyone is if they feel the person is a threat or will upset the person.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Sorry Ken, but if an elder care attorney has no helpful ideas for you, I cannot imagine anyone will. Have you tried speaking politely to the BIL and telling him he can be there when you visit?

Best of luck with a difficult situation.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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My children can see him but it's uneasy as they dont comprehend the situation and the Staff has been inappropriate with their behavior. We could hear a supervisor on the phone saying " that's the daughter calling, she talks funny...."
My ex wants to see me, last thing he said in person was " I dont want my brother fighting w my best friend"
But he's too afraid to speak up. It's a sad, sad situation. We divorced '12. He got sick '16. I was heath proxy and poa until 12/23 when he needed surgery and more intense care. I made the hospital reach out to the brother who was ignoring the whole situation. Frankly I think he's pissed he had to get involved. Im out of ideas, BIL won't talk to me even tho I helped 100% with all care related info. He's a real jerk, sadly
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Reply to Kenz59
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SamTheManager Feb 4, 2026
I would ignore statements like that from the staff, they sound ignorant but that's not something you can do much about. Your real concern lies with the BIL. You might have to just suck it up and be very nice and apologetic towards him, because he is the gatekeeper to your ex. Doesn't mean you are wrong about any of it, but you have no real power in the situation.
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If he’s in a hospital call Alliance for better Long Term Care. It worked for me here in RI. Don’t know if they have something similar where you live
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Reply to Jada824
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Well, I wrote a polite letter to SIL requesting me and kids visit my Ex, their Dad, together. No such luck. We were told he's failing fast but the letter says he's still up walking around and mingling. We went up this past Mon, called assisted living to expect the kids at a certain time. We were ambushed by BIL POA being there upon our arrival. I politely TRIED to ask if the kids could hv private, intimate time w their dad. Well, I was threatened to be arrested ( by the staff) and the took my kid's phones prior to the visit. Kids were visibly upset. BIL could use/bring his phone to see my Ex. Sadly my Ex was much worse than what the email said. My ex was alert enough to speak to kids, told them to take care of me etc. He said how proud he was of them. He was weak, doesn't hv his prescription glasses AGAIN. His eyes don't align. All these visual symptoms could hv been discussed to prepare our kids. My BIL is a vindictive SOB. Wrote us a note counting how many visits he's made and how many hours visiting his brother. Who does that? He's so full of anger. I'm trying to decide my legal avenue. My Ex and I set up $ so the kids will hv support after he passes. I feel my BIL will challenge the life ins. Im afraid to make a move. And I DONT think my Ex is well cared for. Im so sad for him and my kids and scared to death to make a move.
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Reply to Kenz59
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I'm not sure why your ex didn't reassign you as his PoA...? Does he have cognitive issues? Does he have a diagnosis of incapacity? If not then there's no legal ability for the PoA to block you. I think we're not getting all the information as this situation makes no sense and not sure why the attorney says there's nothing that can be done.
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Reply to Geaton777
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