With all due respect to you, why is it your business who your neighbor leaves his property to? He may not have dementia and is still in control of his own life, finances, and decisions. So really, he has a right to leave his property to whomever he damn well pleases. People so often think that an old person's property must all be left to their adult kids if they have them or to other family if they don't. No, it doesn't. A fellow caregiver and friend that I knew when we were agency help took on a case. It was for a very wealthy and elderly gay man who lived alone. His partner who he was with for over 50 years passed away and he was alone. He had out-of-state relatives who never bothered with him. Some sent a Christmas card from time to time. He was in poor physical health but mentally he was fine. My friend took the case and ended up quitting the agency to be a live-in caregiver for the man. She moved in with her little daughter and it worked out well for a few years until he died. He left her his entire estate. Five million cash. The property and artwork at least twice that. He named each of his relatives by name leaving them one dollar apiece. Why shouldn't he have? My friend was the only person who was decent to him. His family couldn't be bothered.
My grandmother left her small house to her caregiver of eight years. She left everything else to her 7 children. Her children all owned houses. Rose, her caregiver didn't have a home of her own.
What if this elderly neighbor was leaving YOU his house? Betcha wouldn't be posting this question here on AgingCare, would you?
Elders of sound mind are legally entitled to do whatever they want to do with their assets, whether their family, friends & nosy neighbors agree with them or not.
Now, if this gentleman is suffering from Alzheimer's or another form of dementia, then he's not capable of making ANY changes to his will or signing ANY legal documents.
Lea, you and I both know that if your parents were in care and some grifter tried to get even a thousand dollar bonus from the, we’d be all over it. There are standards that caregivers need to adhere to, just like doctors, nurses, therapists and teachers.
I would say that this aide has signed something with the VA where she is not allowed to except large "gifts". Yes, I would report it. If he has family inform them. Its a conflict of interest IMO.
Legal is one thing. Iffy is another. If there is concerned and ENGAGED family for this elderly neighbor I am certain they will take this issue to the VA. If there IS no concerned family and this caregiver is someone the elderly neighbor has become very fond of, this may pass muster. My parents knew a caregiver who was given enough funds to buy herself a duplex so that she would be safe for life, their wish for her. The family could afford it and wished to do it. She was however, privately paid. If you are working for a hospital system there are often rules against accepting gifts. Again, this is something for the family involved to consider and pursue if they wish to.
Burnt, I 99 percent agree with you but not in this case.
Caregivers who would stoop to this are like those who marry their charges for the money. They are wildly violating the trust of standard of care. My neighbors dad got hoodwinked into this and it took tons of legal for his family to extract him and put him where he could be and could afford, in this case a brookdale with a private aide on top of it.
I must disagree with you. In so many cases the only concern of the "loving" family is the elder's money. They couldn't care less about the actual person. If the caregiver takes good care of them and brings them some joy in life, then why shouldn't they marry them so they can inherit? Or why shouldn't the elder leave them their money? A family who does nothing and puts all the responsibility of the elder on their caregiver isn't more entitled to anything than the caregiver is. I don't think anyone should take advantage of an elderly person, but if someone is of sound mind they can do whatever they want with their money.
One of the difficulties about late wills is that they are often made with only the recent relationships in mind. Someone who has only been on the scene for a short time, is much more in the mind of the testator than others who have done much more in the past. Old gratitude fades. It’s no wonder that family and old friends are upset when a recent blow-in gets the lot, because they are needed and present NOW. Undue influence and waning competence are often suspected, with good reason.
Who told you this information -- the neighbor, or the caregiver? If the former and he's of sound mind, then there's not much to be done. If it was the caregiver, then that's a huge red flag.
How long has this person been the caregiver? Do they know about this bequest? What sort of rules do they know about in regard to accepting gifts? Did your neighbor set it up with his attorney? If so, is the attorney aware of who the beneficiary is and their relationship to your neighbor?
There are loads of questions here, and I'd talk to the neighbor, if possible, and to the V.A. They should take it from here.
If your elderly neighbour is of sound mind and able to make a valid will, he can legally leave his property to whomever he pleases. So to that extent yes, it is legal.
It may not be legal for the caregiver to accept the bequest: that will depend on the terms of his/her employment contract. I know that generally caregivers are prohibited from accepting gifts (any gifts or hospitality in our case) from clients, but gifts left by will are different because they reflect a considered decision made by a competent adult and witnessed by disinterested observers.
If your neighbour really wants this person to receive the property and not get into hot water for it, he'd do well to ask his lawyer to sort out any potential problems in advance. How did you find out about it?
I would think this aide comes thru the local Hospital. Local office, I don't feel, would handle this.
I agree that there are children that don't deserve anything when it comes to inheritance. I agree that the gift of a house was a nice thing to give the aide that cared for someone 8 years. So it comes down to the situation.
As an aide for the VA I doubt if the aide is allowed to except such a gift. I would think any aide working for an agency is not allowed to except anything more than a small gift. You are working in a profession where its easy for a client to get attached. I feel its a conflict of interest. I also feel, that neither the client nor the aide should have said anything to the OP. None of anyones business.
He may not have dementia and is still in control of his own life, finances, and decisions.
So really, he has a right to leave his property to whomever he damn well pleases. People so often think that an old person's property must all be left to their adult kids if they have them or to other family if they don't.
No, it doesn't.
A fellow caregiver and friend that I knew when we were agency help took on a case. It was for a very wealthy and elderly gay man who lived alone.
His partner who he was with for over 50 years passed away and he was alone. He had out-of-state relatives who never bothered with him. Some sent a Christmas card from time to time.
He was in poor physical health but mentally he was fine. My friend took the case and ended up quitting the agency to be a live-in caregiver for the man. She moved in with her little daughter and it worked out well for a few years until he died. He left her his entire estate. Five million cash. The property and artwork at least twice that.
He named each of his relatives by name leaving them one dollar apiece. Why shouldn't he have? My friend was the only person who was decent to him. His family couldn't be bothered.
Elders of sound mind are legally entitled to do whatever they want to do with their assets, whether their family, friends & nosy neighbors agree with them or not.
Now, if this gentleman is suffering from Alzheimer's or another form of dementia, then he's not capable of making ANY changes to his will or signing ANY legal documents.
My parents knew a caregiver who was given enough funds to buy herself a duplex so that she would be safe for life, their wish for her. The family could afford it and wished to do it. She was however, privately paid. If you are working for a hospital system there are often rules against accepting gifts.
Again, this is something for the family involved to consider and pursue if they wish to.
Caregivers who would stoop to this are like those who marry their charges for the money. They are wildly violating the trust of standard of care. My neighbors dad got hoodwinked into this and it took tons of legal for his family to extract him and put him where he could be and could afford, in this case a brookdale with a private aide on top of it.
I must disagree with you. In so many cases the only concern of the "loving" family is the elder's money.
They couldn't care less about the actual person. If the caregiver takes good care of them and brings them some joy in life, then why shouldn't they marry them so they can inherit? Or why shouldn't the elder leave them their money?
A family who does nothing and puts all the responsibility of the elder on their caregiver isn't more entitled to anything than the caregiver is.
I don't think anyone should take advantage of an elderly person, but if someone is of sound mind they can do whatever they want with their money.
Who told you this information -- the neighbor, or the caregiver? If the former and he's of sound mind, then there's not much to be done. If it was the caregiver, then that's a huge red flag.
How long has this person been the caregiver? Do they know about this bequest? What sort of rules do they know about in regard to accepting gifts? Did your neighbor set it up with his attorney? If so, is the attorney aware of who the beneficiary is and their relationship to your neighbor?
There are loads of questions here, and I'd talk to the neighbor, if possible, and to the V.A. They should take it from here.
It may not be legal for the caregiver to accept the bequest: that will depend on the terms of his/her employment contract. I know that generally caregivers are prohibited from accepting gifts (any gifts or hospitality in our case) from clients, but gifts left by will are different because they reflect a considered decision made by a competent adult and witnessed by disinterested observers.
If your neighbour really wants this person to receive the property and not get into hot water for it, he'd do well to ask his lawyer to sort out any potential problems in advance. How did you find out about it?
if OP is truly a concerned neighbour, OP would have contacted the neighbour’s family.
and if there’s no family, OP would have said from the start: “but i sort of understand why he’s giving his house away, he has no family at all.”
I agree that there are children that don't deserve anything when it comes to inheritance. I agree that the gift of a house was a nice thing to give the aide that cared for someone 8 years. So it comes down to the situation.
As an aide for the VA I doubt if the aide is allowed to except such a gift. I would think any aide working for an agency is not allowed to except anything more than a small gift. You are working in a profession where its easy for a client to get attached. I feel its a conflict of interest. I also feel, that neither the client nor the aide should have said anything to the OP. None of anyones business.
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