Patti, is he giving (i.e., deeding) the house to her NOW, or planning to add her name to the house title so that she inherits the house on his death?
If the former, is he aware that once she has title, she could decide not to care for him any more, evict him and leave him out on the streets?
If he was standing naked on a balcony, and you called in the authorities, are they considering or have they taken action to address his apparent need for assistance? And if so, are there any guardianship proceedings or other efforts to take control of his life in process? I can't help wondering why a neighbor hasn't contacted county or state elder care units to get help for him, especially mental help.
And the action makes me wonder how really stable he is, i.e., is he mentally stable enough to recognize that giving his house away is a very, very serious move?
I think I'd be calling local authorities for a psych exam and consideration perhaps of a court appointed guardian, or at least basic intervention for this poor fellow.
However, I'm confused by this, which seems as if he's really on the ball when it comes to selling the house:
"And how does this factor into the situation? Who is this person who wants to buy the house?
"The man who is trying to buy the condo from the elderly gentleman made an offer which the man refused becuse he said that the aide wantes $50,000 more than the previously agreed upon price. When the buyer asked her directly why she though his unit was worth $50,000 more than the unit that had sold last week, she said, "Because, you can afford it. You are an investor."
So is the aide also trying to buy the home? How did all this come to the point that he apparently now wants to give the house to the aide? And how did it occur that the "buyer" was in direct contact with the aide? It's hard to follow this.
When this buyer was looking at the unit next door, the elderly man came out of his unit and said to the buyer, "Don't buy his, buy mine." When the unit for sale was sold to a different person, the buyer the elderly man had approached went to his home and asked him if he was serious about selling him his unit. He said yes, but he didn't want to use an agent, to save the commission he wanted to sell directly. The buyer was fine with that. He offered the elderly man the exact price that the other unit had sold for. He said he would have to discuss this with his aide. The buyer agreed to wait a few days. when he went back to the elderly man to discuss the purchase, the aide was there. The elderly gentleman said that he was giving the aide the house, so it was up to her how much she wanted to sell it for. It was then that she told the buyer that she wanted $50000 more that the other unit had sold for because she knows he is an investor and can afford it. The elderly man told the buyer that he needed some time to find a place to live, so would let him know when she is ready to sell the unit. So we do not know if he has added her via quick claim, which in Florida you cannot unless it is to a blood relative. It's a very convoluted situation. He HAS signed his car over to her, months ago. He HAS given her all of his deceased wife's very extensive, valuable jewelry collection. We are NOT aware of the status of the ownership of the home present day. We DO know that he insists that SHE be included in all negotiations because in the elderly man's word, "It's her house, it's up to her." What this means we do not know.
This is NOT being left in a will, he is giving her the house so that she continues to take care of him. He has also given her all of his late wife's jewelry and his car. His son lives out of state and of course the man who made an offer to buy the house has been in touch with the son. I only became involved when my daughter and I came home one afternoon and found him standing naked on his balcony, unable to put a sentence together. He appeared either drugged or in the middle of a stroke, so we called the police and paramedics. It was not a stroke. We have known this man for over 20 years and of course over the years his mental capacity has diminished, whose doesn't? BUT we do not want to see him taken advantage of.
I would think this aide comes thru the local Hospital. Local office, I don't feel, would handle this.
I agree that there are children that don't deserve anything when it comes to inheritance. I agree that the gift of a house was a nice thing to give the aide that cared for someone 8 years. So it comes down to the situation.
As an aide for the VA I doubt if the aide is allowed to except such a gift. I would think any aide working for an agency is not allowed to except anything more than a small gift. You are working in a profession where its easy for a client to get attached. I feel its a conflict of interest. I also feel, that neither the client nor the aide should have said anything to the OP. None of anyones business.
The VA has standards for its caregivers. This is a question that should be raised with the neighbor's VA Social Worker who can elevate it to the level required so that the VA can assess the situation.
That would be difficult though, as your neighbor may feel you're prying and becoming involved in his affairs. Alternately, I would contact the VA and work your way through the bureaucracy to find someone who is knowledgeable about restrictions governing VA paid caregivers.
You could start with the local County VA office, if there is one, or the State VA, or better yet, the regional VA hospital.
If your elderly neighbour is of sound mind and able to make a valid will, he can legally leave his property to whomever he pleases. So to that extent yes, it is legal.
It may not be legal for the caregiver to accept the bequest: that will depend on the terms of his/her employment contract. I know that generally caregivers are prohibited from accepting gifts (any gifts or hospitality in our case) from clients, but gifts left by will are different because they reflect a considered decision made by a competent adult and witnessed by disinterested observers.
If your neighbour really wants this person to receive the property and not get into hot water for it, he'd do well to ask his lawyer to sort out any potential problems in advance. How did you find out about it?
One of the difficulties about late wills is that they are often made with only the recent relationships in mind. Someone who has only been on the scene for a short time, is much more in the mind of the testator than others who have done much more in the past. Old gratitude fades. It’s no wonder that family and old friends are upset when a recent blow-in gets the lot, because they are needed and present NOW. Undue influence and waning competence are often suspected, with good reason.
Who told you this information -- the neighbor, or the caregiver? If the former and he's of sound mind, then there's not much to be done. If it was the caregiver, then that's a huge red flag.
How long has this person been the caregiver? Do they know about this bequest? What sort of rules do they know about in regard to accepting gifts? Did your neighbor set it up with his attorney? If so, is the attorney aware of who the beneficiary is and their relationship to your neighbor?
There are loads of questions here, and I'd talk to the neighbor, if possible, and to the V.A. They should take it from here.
What if this elderly neighbor was leaving YOU his house? Betcha wouldn't be posting this question here on AgingCare, would you?
Elders of sound mind are legally entitled to do whatever they want to do with their assets, whether their family, friends & nosy neighbors agree with them or not.
Now, if this gentleman is suffering from Alzheimer's or another form of dementia, then he's not capable of making ANY changes to his will or signing ANY legal documents.
Lea, you and I both know that if your parents were in care and some grifter tried to get even a thousand dollar bonus from the, we’d be all over it. There are standards that caregivers need to adhere to, just like doctors, nurses, therapists and teachers.
Burnt, I 99 percent agree with you but not in this case.
Caregivers who would stoop to this are like those who marry their charges for the money. They are wildly violating the trust of standard of care. My neighbors dad got hoodwinked into this and it took tons of legal for his family to extract him and put him where he could be and could afford, in this case a brookdale with a private aide on top of it.
I must disagree with you. In so many cases the only concern of the "loving" family is the elder's money. They couldn't care less about the actual person. If the caregiver takes good care of them and brings them some joy in life, then why shouldn't they marry them so they can inherit? Or why shouldn't the elder leave them their money? A family who does nothing and puts all the responsibility of the elder on their caregiver isn't more entitled to anything than the caregiver is. I don't think anyone should take advantage of an elderly person, but if someone is of sound mind they can do whatever they want with their money.
My grandmother left her small house to her caregiver of eight years. She left everything else to her 7 children. Her children all owned houses. Rose, her caregiver didn't have a home of her own.
Legal is one thing. Iffy is another. If there is concerned and ENGAGED family for this elderly neighbor I am certain they will take this issue to the VA. If there IS no concerned family and this caregiver is someone the elderly neighbor has become very fond of, this may pass muster. My parents knew a caregiver who was given enough funds to buy herself a duplex so that she would be safe for life, their wish for her. The family could afford it and wished to do it. She was however, privately paid. If you are working for a hospital system there are often rules against accepting gifts. Again, this is something for the family involved to consider and pursue if they wish to.
I would say that this aide has signed something with the VA where she is not allowed to except large "gifts". Yes, I would report it. If he has family inform them. Its a conflict of interest IMO.
With all due respect to you, why is it your business who your neighbor leaves his property to? He may not have dementia and is still in control of his own life, finances, and decisions. So really, he has a right to leave his property to whomever he damn well pleases. People so often think that an old person's property must all be left to their adult kids if they have them or to other family if they don't. No, it doesn't. A fellow caregiver and friend that I knew when we were agency help took on a case. It was for a very wealthy and elderly gay man who lived alone. His partner who he was with for over 50 years passed away and he was alone. He had out-of-state relatives who never bothered with him. Some sent a Christmas card from time to time. He was in poor physical health but mentally he was fine. My friend took the case and ended up quitting the agency to be a live-in caregiver for the man. She moved in with her little daughter and it worked out well for a few years until he died. He left her his entire estate. Five million cash. The property and artwork at least twice that. He named each of his relatives by name leaving them one dollar apiece. Why shouldn't he have? My friend was the only person who was decent to him. His family couldn't be bothered.
If the former, is he aware that once she has title, she could decide not to care for him any more, evict him and leave him out on the streets?
If he was standing naked on a balcony, and you called in the authorities, are they considering or have they taken action to address his apparent need for assistance? And if so, are there any guardianship proceedings or other efforts to take control of his life in process? I can't help wondering why a neighbor hasn't contacted county or state elder care units to get help for him, especially mental help.
And the action makes me wonder how really stable he is, i.e., is he mentally stable enough to recognize that giving his house away is a very, very serious move?
I think I'd be calling local authorities for a psych exam and consideration perhaps of a court appointed guardian, or at least basic intervention for this poor fellow.
However, I'm confused by this, which seems as if he's really on the ball when it comes to selling the house:
"And how does this factor into the situation? Who is this person who wants to buy the house?
"The man who is trying to buy the condo from the elderly gentleman made an offer which the man refused becuse he said that the aide wantes $50,000 more than the previously agreed upon price. When the buyer asked her directly why she though his unit was worth $50,000 more than the unit that had sold last week, she said, "Because, you can afford it. You are an investor."
So is the aide also trying to buy the home? How did all this come to the point that he apparently now wants to give the house to the aide? And how did it occur that the "buyer" was in direct contact with the aide? It's hard to follow this.
When the unit for sale was sold to a different person, the buyer the elderly man had approached went to his home and asked him if he was serious about selling him his unit. He said yes, but he didn't want to use an agent, to save the commission he wanted to sell directly. The buyer was fine with that. He offered the elderly man the exact price that the other unit had sold for. He said he would have to discuss this with his aide. The buyer agreed to wait a few days. when he went back to the elderly man to discuss the purchase, the aide was there. The elderly gentleman said that he was giving the aide the house, so it was up to her how much she wanted to sell it for. It was then that she told the buyer that she wanted $50000 more that the other unit had sold for because she knows he is an investor and can afford it. The elderly man told the buyer that he needed some time to find a place to live, so would let him know when she is ready to sell the unit. So we do not know if he has added her via quick claim, which in Florida you cannot unless it is to a blood relative. It's a very convoluted situation. He HAS signed his car over to her, months ago. He HAS given her all of his deceased wife's very extensive, valuable jewelry collection. We are NOT aware of the status of the ownership of the home present day. We DO know that he insists that SHE be included in all negotiations because in the elderly man's word, "It's her house, it's up to her." What this means we do not know.
We have known this man for over 20 years and of course over the years his mental capacity has diminished, whose doesn't? BUT we do not want to see him taken advantage of.
I agree that there are children that don't deserve anything when it comes to inheritance. I agree that the gift of a house was a nice thing to give the aide that cared for someone 8 years. So it comes down to the situation.
As an aide for the VA I doubt if the aide is allowed to except such a gift. I would think any aide working for an agency is not allowed to except anything more than a small gift. You are working in a profession where its easy for a client to get attached. I feel its a conflict of interest. I also feel, that neither the client nor the aide should have said anything to the OP. None of anyones business.
That would be difficult though, as your neighbor may feel you're prying and becoming involved in his affairs. Alternately, I would contact the VA and work your way through the bureaucracy to find someone who is knowledgeable about restrictions governing VA paid caregivers.
You could start with the local County VA office, if there is one, or the State VA, or better yet, the regional VA hospital.
It may not be legal for the caregiver to accept the bequest: that will depend on the terms of his/her employment contract. I know that generally caregivers are prohibited from accepting gifts (any gifts or hospitality in our case) from clients, but gifts left by will are different because they reflect a considered decision made by a competent adult and witnessed by disinterested observers.
If your neighbour really wants this person to receive the property and not get into hot water for it, he'd do well to ask his lawyer to sort out any potential problems in advance. How did you find out about it?
if OP is truly a concerned neighbour, OP would have contacted the neighbour’s family.
and if there’s no family, OP would have said from the start: “but i sort of understand why he’s giving his house away, he has no family at all.”
Who told you this information -- the neighbor, or the caregiver? If the former and he's of sound mind, then there's not much to be done. If it was the caregiver, then that's a huge red flag.
How long has this person been the caregiver? Do they know about this bequest? What sort of rules do they know about in regard to accepting gifts? Did your neighbor set it up with his attorney? If so, is the attorney aware of who the beneficiary is and their relationship to your neighbor?
There are loads of questions here, and I'd talk to the neighbor, if possible, and to the V.A. They should take it from here.
Elders of sound mind are legally entitled to do whatever they want to do with their assets, whether their family, friends & nosy neighbors agree with them or not.
Now, if this gentleman is suffering from Alzheimer's or another form of dementia, then he's not capable of making ANY changes to his will or signing ANY legal documents.
Caregivers who would stoop to this are like those who marry their charges for the money. They are wildly violating the trust of standard of care. My neighbors dad got hoodwinked into this and it took tons of legal for his family to extract him and put him where he could be and could afford, in this case a brookdale with a private aide on top of it.
I must disagree with you. In so many cases the only concern of the "loving" family is the elder's money.
They couldn't care less about the actual person. If the caregiver takes good care of them and brings them some joy in life, then why shouldn't they marry them so they can inherit? Or why shouldn't the elder leave them their money?
A family who does nothing and puts all the responsibility of the elder on their caregiver isn't more entitled to anything than the caregiver is.
I don't think anyone should take advantage of an elderly person, but if someone is of sound mind they can do whatever they want with their money.
My parents knew a caregiver who was given enough funds to buy herself a duplex so that she would be safe for life, their wish for her. The family could afford it and wished to do it. She was however, privately paid. If you are working for a hospital system there are often rules against accepting gifts.
Again, this is something for the family involved to consider and pursue if they wish to.
He may not have dementia and is still in control of his own life, finances, and decisions.
So really, he has a right to leave his property to whomever he damn well pleases. People so often think that an old person's property must all be left to their adult kids if they have them or to other family if they don't.
No, it doesn't.
A fellow caregiver and friend that I knew when we were agency help took on a case. It was for a very wealthy and elderly gay man who lived alone.
His partner who he was with for over 50 years passed away and he was alone. He had out-of-state relatives who never bothered with him. Some sent a Christmas card from time to time.
He was in poor physical health but mentally he was fine. My friend took the case and ended up quitting the agency to be a live-in caregiver for the man. She moved in with her little daughter and it worked out well for a few years until he died. He left her his entire estate. Five million cash. The property and artwork at least twice that.
He named each of his relatives by name leaving them one dollar apiece. Why shouldn't he have? My friend was the only person who was decent to him. His family couldn't be bothered.