My dad is 95, legally blind in a wheel chair and lives in assisted living. My mother had dementia and I helped take care of her at their home for years until her falling became a big problem, they moved into a facility. He was in assisted living and she full care, when she passed he moved in a house beside us, at that time he said he would get a Lifeline necklace and a housekeeper but he would not do it, so I hired a house keeper, checked on him several times a day and he did get Friendship Meals. Several years ago he said he could not see well enough to live alone so he moved into the same facility. I really tried to talk him out of it, thought we were doing fine but he insisted, he was walking with a walker at that time. He also always has a dog. Two months later it closed and by this time he was in a wheelchair so we found another facility that would take dogs. He has long term care insurance and it was very hard to get them to pay when he moved back, moved again and again! He did not like this place so we moved him again, we have moved him 8 times, trying to make him happy, several times just to a different room in the same facility. He has been mad ever since the first place closed, of course does not like this place either.
He has fallen 3 times since January and they have had to pick him up, he cannot see to run the microwave or adjust the thermostat! He will not ask them for help, I will go in and he will have the heat on and it will be 90 degrees outside! He gripes about everything from the food, the other people, the housekeeping, the administrator, etc. I just don’t comment. My sister is almost 80 and lives 2 hours away and is dealing with her husband’s health problems. My husband works 7 days a week but helps when he can, my son takes care of his two rental houses. He called him today (he just pushes a button on his phone and says who he wants to call cannot see to dial even with his magnifier). He wants him to move him to one of the rentals which is 10 miles away from us. I visit at least 5 times a week, drive in early every Sunday and bring him back here for church, take him to his appointments, take the dog 20 miles to the a veterinarian! He is pretty sharp but has been somewhat forgetful lately, has forgotten appointments when I get there and other little things. First the house would need a major remodel, ramps, shower, try to make it safe. I’ve been battling this for years, I am tired, not sure what to do? I know he would not be there long before he would realize he could not do it, afraid he would not hire help after he got there. I am afraid it would be really hard to get the insurance to start paying again and it would be dangerous for him! He does use his walker when I take him somewhere but I am always worried he will fall! He cannot have PT because he has two hip replacements that have worn out. Surgery is not an option and his bones will crack when he is just sitting so he is to walk as little as possible. He also has an aortic abdominal aneurysm they are watching. I hate that he is not happy and I do not know what to do, any advice would be appreciated! Sorry this is so long!