My dad pays me $1000.00 a month for his full time care. Is he paying me too much?

Hi, I agree with everyone, your sister has no concept as to what is involved in the daily care of an elderly parent. Also right now you are fortunate that your father can still walk and get around by himself and does not require bathroom assistance. It will become more difficult in the future and your work will increase to the point where you may need outside assistance. Please make sure your father will have funds to support your care and additional care going forward as apparently your sister will not help you. If she does not understand now..I do not think she will get any better. Stay strong; your father is very fortunate to have you as his caregiver. You are a good daughter!!

We just went through this with my mother and my cousins with my aunt and uncle. In Ohio for daytime custodial care for mom Monday through Friday only, it was $22/hour and we paid a little over $1,000 per 40 hours. The caregiver received only $12/ hour of that, which came to $480/ week. Had mom needed a nurse, it would have cost twice as much.

I SPLIT THE REST OF THE CARE with my brother as we both held full time jobs, and we were absolutely exhausted all of the time

My uncle needed 24 hour care seven days/ week.  There were three caregivers per day with some overlap between each. That cost approximately $15,840 per month in Atlanta. The caregivers split about $8,640/ month.

My two cousins SUPERVISED the caregivers and were exhausted and stressed all of the time.

The caregivers all had health insurance provided by the companies for which they worked.

How's that for context?

Hi there ,
I am so sorry that your sister thinks you are being over paid. I know how physically and emotionally exhausted you are. Honestly no money is enough for what you do. You do it out of love.....and you are under paid. Not everyone can do what you are doing . I am going through the same caring for both my mom and dad .....it is not easy . Try not to listen to your sisters remarks. Let her try it for a few days and she will understand . Your father is very blessed to have you. I pray for your continued strength and courage .

No, it is definitely not too much! We pay someone to come in as caregiver $2460 per month and she only stays three hours a day. Let’s make a sample scenario. If you were paid $15 per hour for 15 hours work per day for one month, that would be $6750. However, your Dad is getting quality care from a daughter who he knows and loves - that is priceless.

I don’t know if you are also getting room and board, but, even so, $1000 is a good amount. I hope his will takes into account how valuable you are.

I also hope this gives you something to tell your sister. She is way off base here.
best wishes

I have been a caregiver since 2010 - self employed. I did all the same things. I was paid $10/hour and many weeks worked 130 to 144 hours. I was most of the time live-in and i had to be up all through the night with him. Tell them if they don't want him to pay you that much ( which is very little for what you do) then 1. They can come in and help or, 2. They can hire a company to come in and do it and see what they will charge. Some families are fortunate enough that all will share in the care, but in my experience there is one that it usually falls upon but the others want to say how it should be done. Hope this helps.

ABSOLUTELY NOT TOO MUCH!!! Tell your sister to visit and stay 1 week to take over his care and do everything you do. My bet is it won't even take 1 week before she will quickly change her tune. When I moved my mom in with me, she offered to pay me "whatever I wanted" so she would not have to go to a home. At that time she still had all her faculties about her so after a family meeting with my other sibs, so they could offer to take her with the same deal (they didn't!!) I took her up on that. We did it as your father did...legal papers drawn up. Her money was put into a trust with me as the trustee. I use her money as I see fit for her care. I know that I "earn" every cent that I have been given. It only takes having to change ONE poop filled depends to affirm this!! Since my sibs have been present for more than one of those occasions, they see (and smell!!) that I earn it too. haha So tell sister dear to put up or shut up!!

You are underpaid!!! Tell your sister to search what assisted living costs. Current minimum is $4600 per month!!! That is for basics, no medication management, no doctor visits or scheduling, etc. I take care of my in-laws because it was important to them to stay in their home. To make that possible, they pay me and my husband to take care of them and their home. My FIL is a veteran so we are able to get VA Aid and Attendance and this helps but even if he did not get this to help pay, he knows it is much better life than in a facility. The family is very happy with our services and that they do not have to do a thing!
We are on 14 months but we did not get paid first 8 months. It is what is important to your dad and if he is safe and happy!

If your sister would like to take care of your dad for $300/month, I would let her...

We had Visiting Angels to help my dad with cooking, bathing, cleaning, laundry plus physical care. They charged $25 an hour, minimum 2 hour increments for 6 hrs a day and that ran to $1200 a WEEK! Ask your sister to do the math, if you live with him and are on call 24/7 that’s $4200 a week.

I had to file guardianship over my own husband. As I waited in court for my turn before the judge another case was before me for a caregiver, but this caregiver was less hands on and more financially responsible to see that care needs were met. During the accounting the lawyer read off each expense and the judge approved or questioned the expense. When it came to payment the lawyer read off, and I can't remember the exact amount this person was paying themselves monthly, but if I remember correctly the fee was over $2000 compensation for the caregiver. The Judge seems startled at the LOW amount they were receiving and left me with the impression the caregiver should get more but the Judge approved the fee.
When my turn came and I was granted guardianship the Judge called me to his desk and counseled me of what I could and could not spend my husband's money on. I couldn't even buy my own groceries with his money BUT he told me I could pay myself and keep financial records for my husband. I did and I payed myself a much lower fee than the other caregiver, 1200 a month. It felt odd to collect money from my husband for his care and actually a little guilty but if I had been working for an agency I would have made much more for the care I gave him . I had to file accounting every year and was never once questioned about it.
Your sister should sit down and do a little research about care costs.
You're worth it!

Your dad is getting quality care from you 40 hours a week-I am sure he is glad to have you there a familiar trusting face-. facility care would be more and can be distressing to residents with all the new faces, routine etc. agency care would not do all you are doing for your dad. do some digging if you want to.. to convince family you are worth it financially and emotionally to be there for your dad. My parents have home care at cost way more than what you receive. You could look up on job posting sites and compare what facility assitant/staff will make-some where near about $10 an hour in my area-the assistants are not doing all you have listed with driving, bill pay etc. my parents housekeeper gets $300 a week for one day of housekeeping a 2 bedroom ranch house. What I have witnessed at my parents house the caregivers are there 12 hours a day for the day shift but only do about 2 hours of work-giving pills, warm up a meal, empty catheter bag, and maybe on a good day give a shower to my dad. He has been injured due to falls where caregiver left the room etc. when not being expected or asked to do something they go lay down on the bed in the other room, to sleep, twiddle on their phones, rummage thru the drawers and closets. Your dad is very lucky indeed. I do about half of your to do list, bill pay and dr. appointments, mom now thinks I am going to help her clean closets, and do other busy work just for her. That's a big maybe as I have spent 40 hours digging thru their statements looking for their tax info in the last 2 weeks-they can not do this anymore and other family who were "helping" with the bill pay made a huge mess for me to sort out.