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Has anyone had to query a parents loss of weight? How do you go about it subtly? He’s not a chatter. Keeps things close to his chest. I offer to shop and take cake when I pop over but they are active and say it’s all good. His weight though is not.

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Sometimes elderly people don't eat as much. They're not hungry, etc. Or could be something going on with his health - thyroid, etc.

I would be careful of thinking it's your mom's fault. Unless she is having dementia or something that might be keeping her from making "normal" decisions about meal planning and feeding herself and your dad.

Has he been to the doctor lately? Might need to have an exam and try to see what's going on.

Regarding not being able to enter the house due to covid, I think this is a bit too much. Are your parents not allowing you to enter? Or is it your choice?

Good luck.
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Just saw this has been asked twice
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I am not sure COVID means you can;t enter the house,, it just means you do so in a safe and thoughtful manner in my area. Mask, handwashing, personal space. After all home care aides and medical personel can still see clients. Unless you mean they are in a facility? If I was worried I would stop by, and see for myself. Maybe his appetite is just poor ( depressed ?) Has he seen a Dr?
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If he is losing weight he may be losing appetite, normal with aging. And he may also have something "going on". If so, if you are looking at a hidden cancer, what would you "do about it" at this time. That was the question posed to my Dad and Mom in their 90s when my Dad found it difficult to eat, and the weight poured off. His answer was "nothing". With that the doctor agreed if you live long enough you will get the cellular changes we call cancer SOMEWHERE. If there are some but you would not treat condition, why go looking?
I would stay quet about it. They are active and feeling well enough for them. Don't make trouble before you know trouble is really there. And in all truth, being too thin, often medically is so much better than having the excess weight.
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Why do you have to be 'subtle' about asking why your father has lost so much weight? I'd be quite bold about it myself and ask both of them point blank what's going on. Is dad sick? Are they eating enough food? As their child, you have a right to ask and to know what's going on with their health, and to care enough to want to help them out, right? They have a right to their privacy, too, of course, but I'd want to get the whole situation out in the open and talked about, if it were me.

And why can't you enter their house? Covid is not exactly ebola...........put on a mask and go in there to see what's going on! That's what I'd do. My kids come over to my house & vice versa...........none of us are sick and so we are able to visit one another w/o worry. If we can go to the grocery store and here & there, we can surely go to our own family member's homes! Tell your parents you want to have a real heart-to-heart talk now b/c you're very concerned about them, and see what happens.

GOOD LUCK!
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