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A couple months ago my dad hit me in the mouth and shoved me down the hall as hard as he could. The older he gets the meaner it seems hes getting. I went and talked to the police and they said go get a protection order, so I did. Before my dad was served he fell in the tub. I called the perimedics and they took him to the hospital. During that time he gave me his wallet. I put it in his dresser with 197.00 he had in it 100.00 my brother dropped by and left on his dresser and 300 that I put in it for rent. When he was released after being in there for a week he had to go to therepy becausse he said he couldn't walk. I decided to call his long term care insurance because he was talking about cancelling it cause he didn't want to pay the 4000,00 for it. They told me yes he cancelled it but if I had payment in by such and such date they would keep it going. other than that they wouldn't discuss anything with me so I decided I was going to pay it with my dads credit card but they needed power of attorney so I could. I went back to the hospital to ask dad where the keys were to the safe he had all the documents in and he had an attorney there, find out my dad hired an attorney and had taken me off as executor to the will. I kinda flipped because I put my own life on hold for over 12 years. there isn't a thing I didn't do for my dad. I cleaned, I cooked, I did dishes by hand for 10 of those 12 years every day. Never used a dishwasher unless it was thanksgiving or Christmas was the only 2 days I was allowed to use it. I took care of all the maintenance around the house. I put in recessed lighting, built him a shed , paved his driveway, built 2 fences for him pressure washed the house 2 a year, tiled his bathroom and a lot more and never asked my dad for a dime. Then all of a sudden I'm the worse person on the planet I go to court and because I wasn't trying to take my dads house. I had to move because we couldn't live there with a protection order legally. So I packed up my 11 year old son and moved 12 years of accumulation in 3 days by myself. I dropped the protection order because I just wanted him to know that he couldn't keep treating me the way he was. So now his attorney has filed elderly abuse and I have pretty much lost everything my son and I are homeless now and he took my car cause he was the co signer on it and now his attorney has it caught up to were the judge didn't even look at the evidence just sided with the attorney and I had witnesses that saw him hit me. Now how does that work. I gave up so much and got back so little now I probably aint even in the will. which is fine you know what f.. them. Don't know how to fight this one though. Any suggestions would greatly help.

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Oh boy, this is heartbreaking...

Truly is so very heartbreaking. Tell me about the witnesses. I am assuming they are credible.

Do you have an attorney? Looks like you will need one. My Lord, how could he take your car? How could he allow you to be homeless with a child?

I wish you the very best outcome. I am so sorry about all of this.

Sending a bazillion hugs your way!
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Msdoitall4what Jan 2020
Thank You for the kind words. Greatly appreciate all you fine women out here.
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Good lord, my sympathy to you for all this. Your “father” is toxic and you need never do one more thing for him. Do your best to get an attorney and rebuild your life. And dont look back. He get to live with the consequences of his decisions.
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Msdoitall4what Jan 2020
Thank you
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You must get an attorney...now

the court will always side with the complainant (your Dad in this case), especially if they are elderly. Once done...it is just about impossible to undo...because the judge that hears the appeal is the same one that gave the initial ruling.

get an attorney. Go to the county social services office and tell them you need legal help.
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After you filed the TRO on your dad where did you move with your son? Can you stay there at least temporarily?

Does your dad have dementia? I'm kind of confused why you have lived in his house for so long doing the work you did? Did he charge you rent? I'm also confused as to why you called the LTC insurance company? Did your dad know you called? Could he have been wondering why he's getting served with an order to stay away from you and you are wondering about a LTC facility? Do you have a legal claim on his home?

I agree with the others that you need to consult with an attorney, but beyond that too many details are missing for me to suggest anything else.
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Oh, I am so very sorry. Other posters have given you good advice. Here's one more: document.

- While you're working toward getting an attorney, write down, as specifically as you can, dates/times/places/witnesses of the times he hit you.

- Did you or another person photograph your injuries? Collect those photographs.

- Get a copy of the protection order and a list of all the police officers you talked with.

- Collect all receipts of items for him or his house that you may have paid (including those he reimbursed you for) to show you were caring for him or his house.

Your attorney can help you figure out how you proceed from here, such as a lawsuit or simply to protect you from the elder abuse charge. Your profile stated your father has diabetes, but no mention of dementia or Alzheimer's. Walk away from your father and don't look back except to take care of this abuse charge. Rebuild your life with a good heart toward only yourself and your son and people who appreciate you.

Please let us know how you are. *hug* to you.
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Msdoitall4what Jan 2020
Thank You for the kind words and great advice. I think that's exactly what I will do. Things can only get better from here.
Happy New Years
Sincerely
DEE
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Did you ever have durable PoA for him? He is 89...was he ever formally diagnosed with dementia? Yes, please find an attorney who is experienced in elder abuse cases. Wishing you a good outcome and peace in your heart as you journey down this very difficult path.
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