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So, so feeling sorrow for you. Katie. I care. All of us here on this forum care
Your siblings are vultures. Grotesque manipulators, one masked in guilt and one in greed. It blows my mind that they have turned up just waiting for his last breath
Be strong and face them down. Take your love and devotion for your father and turn it into strength. Or, if you like, to quote a good Aussie phrase
tell them to bugg”r off

PS. I am pretty sure as POA you can order that they are not allowed to visit your father
Helpful Answer (10)
Reply to PandabearAUS

Many of us have lived through this. You will too.

They didn’t come around because they didn’t have the courage. They didn’t want to see your dad like this. Maybe they even felt relieved that you were solving all the problems. They turned away so they could pretend not to see that your Dad needed them. So they could say they thought you didn’t need them. “Why didn’t you ask for help?” They will say later. When the going gets tough you find out who your real friends are (and aren’t). That can be overwhelming.

Try your best to stay as calm as you can through these tough times —for your dad. You have been on an amazing incredible journey of love, strength and perseverance together. You are stronger, more empathetic, more knowledgeable and more peaceful from this experience.

When your siblings are crying, it is not for your dad, but for their personal pain and the turmoil they have brought upon themselves for not being there.

Do not expect the situation with them to improve in the days to come. Their past (lack of) support is a window into the troubles of the near future.

Stay at close to your Dad. He is the one to focus on.

Its okay if you don’t choose to forgive them.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to ACaringDaughter
truppecantele Apr 18, 2019
In Italy there is a saying, ( un aiuto e' meglio di cento consigli.)
It means One Helping hand is worth more then one hundred suggestions.
We wife and I know how you feel, we took care of wife parents for more than thirty years, dad was paralyzed from waist down. we moved them in a handicaped home close to us, we kept them in their home as long as they could, we got many suggestions on what to do, but not any help.
We gave up many vacations and such, but now we have a good feeling that a material thing can not replace.
Be with your dad. Ignore the siblings if they cannot enter into doing the very best for your dad. It's terrible that they can't share in harmony this very difficult and profound time. They very simply do not know. You do.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to ArtistDaughter

Bless u Katie for being such a loyal, caring daughter. That's so sad they r inquiring about his will during all this. I can't believe ppl can't even come together at a time like this. I pray for u and ur father Katie. Please take care of yourself too!
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Stephanie4181

Katie, you have twisteds too. I dealt with mine for eight years now, still continues even with mom gone. Absurd and very vindictive and mean spirited isn't it.

You are very strong and you can do this. After all you provided the care when they couldn't. My two twisteds also stuck together and just fed off of each other. It was hard, definitely. Twisteds will do anything to you to try to make you feel worse and try to get you to feel guilty.

Don't let them do that to you. They do it in an effort to relieve their own guilt and together they can support each other's behavior and lack of effort to support you. Yes, they will blame you. But you have done all that you can, and you and, maybe most importantly, Dad know it. Be good to yourself, keep those boundaries.

Thinking of you and KNOW you are not alone.
Helpful Answer (16)
Reply to gladimhere

Katie, you are not alone. I know it's not the same as a friend holding your hand but you are in my prayers.

Their behavior is what guilt looks like. Attacking you takes the focus off them and the fact that they haven't done anything.

You are not obligated to account for your actions to them. If they had cared they would know what has been and why.

Stay strong and realize that bullies get worse in a pack, but the truly strong can stand up in the face of this knowing they are in the right.

I am so sorry that you are losing your dad in such an awful way.

(That your siblings are doing this now, speaks volumes about their character. )

Hugs and love to you 🤗🤗
Helpful Answer (10)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal

Katie- I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone, we are all here for you, and some have been through it. When my Dad died, none of my 4 living siblings had anything to do with him and when he died they blamed me. So it seems normal for the MIA children to place blame on the devoted one, because of their own guilt.
Do not let them take away from your time with your Dad, even more precious now. Let them play their parts, you know the truth.
May God give you strength, courage and comfort in this difficult time. I will be praying for you.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to smeshque

Oh Katie! I'm so sorry that your family is reacting so emotionally to your dad's decline! Big (((((hugs)))))).

I'm glad that your attorney was able to reassure you that you have nothing to fear; I've seen uninvolved and guilty feeling siblings do this sort of things to friends and it's so unpleasant and unfair. Know that they can't hurt you or your dear dad.

Keep in touch here and let us know what's going on...we CARE.
Helpful Answer (15)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn

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