He feels he's in love. He's known this woman for two years. If he relocates he'll be leaving the community where my husband and I found him an apartment, introduced him to some actiivities, medical care, a few new friends. I initially thought she was a real friend but I'm encountering secretive behavior on her part that makes me concerned about financial abuse. I'm also concerned about emotional abuse and a certain amount of neglect as when he visited her he was dropped off alone for hours while she and her housemate were at work. I need to hear from anyone with a similar experience. A clergy friend of the family expressed that my dad fits the profile for a potential victim of elder abuse. Any feedback is appreciated. He will be in an area where he has never lived before, and not as close to other old friends as he imagines he would be.
FYI the scammer does not necessarily need your dad to be in proximity in order to drain him. Does your dad talk to her on the phone or computer? Can you take him to his bank and help him set limits on withdrawals? Set up online banking for him and monitor it closely. Redistribute funds into multiple savings accounts, have his computer and phone and car "break", anything to make it harder for her. Criminals...ugh!!
Are you his POA? Is he suffering from any dementia?
Yes, you are correct that this is very very worrisome esp if Dad is in a fragile condition. We can tell right off the bat this is unlikely to be about falling in love.
He thought she loved him, Nope, it was all a scam. The family did what they could, but he refused to listen. It was a terrible situation.
I would listen to the clergy friend, it is a setup for $$$$….nothing more.
So sorry to hear this.
I read a previous post you wrote where Dad was helping a couple and they wouldn't move out. What happened there. Seems Dad has a good heart that gets in his way.
I have no idea how u could deal with this if Dementia is not involved.
He cherished her because of her caring for him, no romantic feelings. He had money. He asked her to marry him so she would inherit his wealth as his wife. She accompanied him to all his doctor appointments and elsewhere. He wanted to show her gratitude. She was significantly younger. He told her to live in her own room and he did not expect anything sexual from her at all. I thought that was interesting. Wonder how often that kind of thing happens.
They did marry but it was in name only. She accepted his proposal. She lived in her own room. She took very good care of him. He took very good care of her.
Of course, some people are devious and do take advantage of the elderly. All situations are individual.