My dad (86) has dementia. He is being sexually exploited by a woman who is 64 and goes to the senior center he goes to. What do I do?

Like said, a senior center is not equipped for taking care of Dementia/Alz patients. I would try a Daycare. If Dads fiances are such, u may get help for the cost thru medicaid. I am assuming Dad lives on his own since you "can't keep her away". If he can't remember her then he shouldn't be on his own. If this is ur home and u can't be there all the time then get a restraining order on her. It would help us if you did a profile.

A man with dementia at aged 86 is very obviously in a residential full care home. The bus would be used for short outings and excursions. The intrusive woman is probably at an earlier stage and would know what she was doing.
The most obvious course of action is to make an appointment with the director of the care home and take a lawyer with you to that meeting. It would not be medically acceptable or fair on your dad to be moved, so the female patient must be removed or her family bear the consequences. I don't think you have been tough enough in his defence.

Digbey - what the heck? That's your answer- let them sleep together? What a creep

In Arizona, you can call Adult Protective services. You have evidence from the bus that SHE is touching him. He is likely considered a vulnerable adult. and The police also have what is called 'trespass' - kind of like a restraining order telling a person to stay away + avoid contact with person. If she calls him or is near him, she can be arrested. (I don't know if all states have this simple protection.)
My uncle simply agreed with police that he wanted 'trespass' against house cleaner who was stealing from him, and it was done. House cleaner was subsequently arrested twice for making contact with him. Next step can be 'harassment' claim - do some paperwork and meet with judge - takes about 1-2 hours I'm told in total. No attorney needed in AZ. I would never have guessed that taking these steps would be so simple.
Perhaps similar actions are available in other states.
I hope you have alternative senior center to choose for assistance as well.

You have to realize that with memory loss he may think he is young and available and the same goes for her. My husband thinks he is only 18, he is 89 and has ALZ. Some of the women there also think they are young and available. Thank goodness the staff knows how to manage these issues and can step in. Perhaps your Dad is confused as well. I believe they have a medication that can help. Is this woman's family aware of her actions?

Contact Protective Services

idahogirl, your comment was harsh. This is a site to talk about situations, frustrations, etc. It is not to reprimand. Please be kind.

Good idea, put him in another center and have her banned from there if possible. He doesn't have his check book with him, does he? I would keep an eye on his accounts.

And Dighby out-of-character behaviours on the part of people living with dementia and protecting them from same very much is the business of those who care for them. Obviously. Don't be daft.

Is the 64 year old Jezebel also suffering from dementia?

Sounds like his problem stems from people banning him from the bus and banning him from the senior center, not from her touching him. Maybe she likes him. Maybe he likes her. I think you should let them sleep together, it's none of your business.

A senior center is not a care center/nursing home. Is he with you in your care or in a care center full time? Your not making sense. If he needs care in a nursing home, put him in one where she isn't. She can't get in if you tell the RNs about her. Don't tell her where he is. This is a no brainer. Take care of your dad!!! whats wrong with you?? Keep your dad safe, he is terminal and will get worse and worse. Get your act together!

Ah yes, a shorty bus from the senior center. That makes more sense. I was imagining him getting to the right bus stop and navigating the City bus. And yes, there does seem to be a double standard on his vs her behavior.

jjariz, my husband could not have managed to ride a regular public bus after he developed dementia, but he could and did get on buses with supervision, to attend outings his day program organized, and he could get into the van they sent to take him and return him. Being able to ride in a bus is not necessarily impaired by dementia. Getting on and off might need some supervision and there might have to be a person on both ends of the journey to help him. Planning the trip might be out of reach. But riding in a bus? Usually no problem, unless his behavior is disturbing to other passengers.

I would never have said to my husband, "You want to go to the fair? There is a bus that goes directly there. Why don't you take that?" But he did ride to the fair on a bus with me.

How about your husband? Would he be able to ride a bus with supervision at both ends?

Jjariz- I’m guessing the OP is talking about one of those shorty buses that the center uses to tote the seniors - not public transit. But I could be wrong...

I agree with the others. Why isn't this woman the one who is suspended or banned?

The turmoil with this woman may be making him anxious or angry. Dementia advances at its own rate, and I doubt this turmoil is having an impact on this. Symptoms may be intensified under this stress.

Is there another senior center he could attend? Have you considered an Adult Day Health Program (adult daycare)? You can customize the days and hours he attends. They are used to coping with inappropriate behavior, and if this woman is not there, Dad's behavior might not get inappropriate. They pick up and return participants, provide a hot lunch, and breakfast items for the early arrivals. There are activities geared to people with some impairments. It might be worth exploring.

Do what you can to keep him away from that woman.

If the video shows Her touching HIm ,, why is he banned? And if the senior center shows the same,, again why is He banned? Why is she not banned? If he can't remember her when she is not around,, keep her away! She will get tired of the wedding planning if she has no groom! Keep him busy and keep her away.. Good luck !

Something's not adding up. He can't remember her, but he can ride the bus OK? If his mind is really a mess, you need to protect him and get him into Memory Care.