He has been banned from the transit bus because they have a video of her touching my dad on 2 separate occasions and he is suspended from the senior center for inappropriate sexual behavior with her. He doesn't remember any of this. He is so sad. He feels everyone is against him and this woman is trying to isolate him from his family. Dad's dementia is rapidly getting worse because of the turmoil with this woman but we cannot get her to stay away. When she isn't there he says he doesn't know her and doesn't want her around but she is telling everyone they are getting married. My dad's mind is a mess. He is a pillar of the community and in this county. What do I do?
The turmoil with this woman may be making him anxious or angry. Dementia advances at its own rate, and I doubt this turmoil is having an impact on this. Symptoms may be intensified under this stress.
Is there another senior center he could attend? Have you considered an Adult Day Health Program (adult daycare)? You can customize the days and hours he attends. They are used to coping with inappropriate behavior, and if this woman is not there, Dad's behavior might not get inappropriate. They pick up and return participants, provide a hot lunch, and breakfast items for the early arrivals. There are activities geared to people with some impairments. It might be worth exploring.
Do what you can to keep him away from that woman.
But surely we've progressed past that? Surely we recognise that no matter how enthusiastic a young lad might be about his crush, it is wrong wrong wrong for an adult to exploit it. And surely, with this elderly gentleman, we can switch the genders in our imaginations and see how we'd feel about it if our grannies were being pestered by 64 year old toy boys, and if those in charge had dealt with it as they have.
It's purely a Protection of Vulnerable Adults question. It's not about being blue meanies with one eye on the estate.
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