My dad can't pay me.

Then you quit caregiving and get a real job.

Can't pay you, or won't pay you?

Have a social worker come and do a needs assessment and see if he may be a candidate for Medicaid.

You need to work in an actual job/career so that your senior years aren't a trainwreck.

I had this issue with my mom and POA brother. I do most of the work. In my brothers defense he has 2 important jobs and major health issues.

So I talked to him about a way for me to get paid. Didn't go well

Anyways I decided to do what I have already been doing. But no more, which the reason I mentioned this to my brother is because mom absolutely needs more care. But from now on this is going to be my brothers issues.

Im pretty much just waiting for mom to need er care so I can bring her, then he is going to have to figure it out.

And I'm really working at not bringing the stress of mom , home if they can't figure out a way to work with me then , I'm not worrying anymore ( more like try like hell not to worry)

I'm working on a much more care free additude.

Honestly and completely true, for now they did me a favor. I'm not busting my butt anymore, when I know there is a way .

Not really helpful at all but just figured I'd share my store, sence this is all just happening to me .

Ask Dad how long he ever worked for anyone for FREE.

My LO survived a stroke. When first home from hospital & rehab, family rushed to help. To assist - as much could no longer be done independantly.

It was well intentioned. Yet was a short term fix for long term problems.

Stroke brought permanent big changes - yet it took much time to start to accept that permanent big changes must be made.

I am not sure what changed for your Dad, why you have become his caregiver. But this is a common problem that effects families. Someone cannot afford to stop paid work for the real but unpaid work of a caregiver.

A wider team than family is often needed.

Welcome, Gcabrera. I see you are in CA, which does have a program called IHSS in which Medicaid patients who qualify can have a family member as their paid caregiver. (Apparently it’s not a lot of money and may not be full time hours.) Is your dad on Medicaid?

Here is a link to the Area Agency on Aging in Fresno County which might have other info and resources that could be helpful:

https://fmaaa.org/

Hope you find some help with your Dad.

Contact social services and see what he qualifies for. If he already has medicare/medicaid then look into a facility. In some states Medicaid pays the family member who is doing the care.

I would tell your dad exactly what freqflyer has said. This should hit home with him.

Gcabrera55, I remember when my Dad asked me to quit my career so I would have more time to help him and Mom [both were in their mid 90's].

I then asked my Dad if he had quit his career to take care of his parents? Of course, I knew the answer was "no". Dad never asked me again.

If you are currently working, do not leave your employment. Depending on what is your career, you would lose not only a steady paycheck, but probably company paid options.

Alva is right: you need a job, they need care but can't give you a job. Most of us have the ability to plan for future care, but not everyone can. If they cannot navigate care themselves, contact your local department on aging and get them involved with a social worker who will do a needs assessment and help them find a residential care facility.

Our children are not our long-term care insurance. They are our future, our joy, and the life that will go on when we cannot. That is your obligation to them: to let them be proud of you and share all of the good things in your life.

Then they cannot afford to have you be their caregiver.
You will need a job and savings for your own support.
Your parents may need to avail themselves of Medicaid or other governmental programs.
You cannot manage their lives.
Usually it is enough to manage our OWN lives.