My dad and Facebook. Any advice?

I completely agree, MJ1929! As the wife of a man with dementia, I can totally relate to the father’s perspective. As this horrid disease progresses, the caretaking spouse becomes trapped, isolated, and has no time for whatever hobbies or interests used to give them pleasure. Caring for someone who becomes child-like, while still treating them with the respect they expect and are due as an adult is exhausting and, at times, incredibly annoying. While the mother may seem to be having a good day because she’s talking and interacting, the burden of running the house is still totally on the Dad. It’s also possible that he found the mother’s conversations frustrating because whatever she was talking about never happened. In my case, I pay dearly for those wonderful visits with one of the kids because it triggers my husband’s crazy false memories and I’ll be catching an earful of crazy questions and stories for days afterwards. Until you spend a few days - ALL day and night - being the sole caretaker, you can’t really know what his life is like. And that wouldn’t even account for the fact that the father is older so everything takes longer and is more effort. I agree that he’s getting burned out and needs a vacation - WiTHOUT the mother - to recharge. Personally, I haven’t read a book in at least 3 yrs. Things I used to do in a couple hours now take days or weeks. There is NO time for anything that required a block of uninterrupted time. Sounds to me like the father is sinking and the FB posts are cries for help. The last thIng he needs is to be told he needs to be more respectful of his wife. Besides, how is sharing her condition disrespectful? Pretending she’s fine and hiding her condition further isolates the Dad and places yet another burden on him. We caretakers are constantly getting advice on how to reassure our loved ones and ways we can make their lives more meaningful and easier. For ourselves, we get the old platitude about how you need to take care of yourself, too. But rarely does someone do anything that allows you to do that. Short of bending time so our days are several hours longer than our loved ones’ days, I haven’t found a way to take care of myself. I doubt her Dad has either.

I fully & totally agree with you! Until you are in it, caregiving FULLTIME, you won't understand it! The daughter may end up being his fulltime caregiver & then she will get it, especially in this Covid-19 environment with not many outlets available for respite/self care.

Maybe she should block him and say nothing about it to him. I'm not sure that anything is to be gained by telling him. (I'm not on Facebook, so maybe I'm overlooking something.)

Block him on any computer she can get to, so she can't see it, if you are able.

You're not alone--I'm not on Facebook. It appears one's private information can be compromised, the information can be provided to advertisers, and, frankly, I don't really care what everyone I know is doing these days. If I want to tell someone something, I just take the time to email, and people I know send me emails. (And I don't use a smartphone, either.)

I think I would mention, in a note, to Moms doctor about the Meme and her little story since u say Mom suffers from depression. Even if its an attention getter, its a lie. And may show suicide tendencies or the beginning of Dementia.

I agree. It may not be sympathy or attention he craves, but simply the feeling that he can say what he wants in a place where someone is paying attention. That is almost the same thing as sympathy and attention, but not quite: the focus is on the ability to say what he is feeling, not on what he might get in return. It can help a lot to vent when you are overwhelmed.