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My husband is bedridden and at the time of signing we did not expect him to live much longer and a friend of my oldest daughter drew up POA forms and was told that I would be listed first and then my three daughters would be next if I wasn’t able to sign legal papers and affairs. The friend was also a notary. Now I found out I have no say so over my husband or me. They took over his bank account and they can get to my account because I have his name on papers at the bank if something happens to me he could draw money out. They have brainwashed him into thinking I am his enemy. I can not even talk to the bank about his account. I gave my daughter his wallet with his bank card and insurance cards when EMS came to take him to the hospital ER  in case she need information and never got it back.


When I found out that I had signed something that took all our control away (I didn’t read them first because I trusted my daughters) I got really upset and hurt me so much I said ugly things and told her I wanted a copy of those papers. I even asked the girl that notarized them for copy and the name of the lawyer where they filed them with. Still have not seen them. I raised my voice and told them to leave they kept their phone videoing me being upset. So I left and when I came back and told them to leave they called the police on me.


Now they said they want me committed and they had the power to do it. I would have not found this out till about a month ago. A school child was doing a fundraiser for his school and I was going to order something and he told me that you have to pay when you order so I didn’t have cash or check. I told the little boy to come back the next day and I would write his school a check for twenty dollars. My daughter had packed up our important papers and stuff because we just moved and she took them to her house (for safe keeping) so they would not get lost in the move. I asked her for her dad's checkbook, she said no because people don’t write checks anymore. The check amount was going to be transferred from my account to his because I had used my checks up and had not reordered yet. That is when I found out I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Trusting my daughters.


My husband now hates me and they have him thinking I am stealing from him. Yes I am upset and hurt after 51 years of marriage. Never have stolen from him. I have done without insulin because we could not afford for us both to get our medicine so I did with out so he could get insulin. He has already lost all his toes on one foot. I just feel like I have been wronged. What are my rights? I don’t want to get anyone in trouble. I do love my daughters just lost my trust in them.

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Nanniejean, make an appointment with an "Elder Law Attorney" and explain to him/her what has transpired.

Being that your hubby has Alzheimer's/Dementia, and if he was unable to understand that Power of Attorney language when he signed it, then that POA is not valid. You can have the Attorney draw up a new Power of Attorney for yourself, thus you can assign someone. It doesn't have to be a family member.

Power of Attorneys don't start unless the person is unable to make decisions on their own. Thus, the current POA that your daughter holds for you, she cannot act upon it. From your writing, you are clear minded and can make decision for yourself and for your hubby.
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worriedinCali Oct 2019
FF a durable POA starts, which is what the daughter has, starts as soon as it is signed.
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Nannie Jean, You need to make an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney at once. There you will do a revocation of that POA. If I were you, I would ask the daughters to attend your meeting with the attorney (it seems at this point they are the ones with the checkbook. )
You can also call Adult Protective Agency services near you and ask for advice. Your letter here is crystal clear.
If there is one daughter you DO trust, then appoint that one daughter. If there is no one, I hesitate to suggest a friend, because it is difficult work, requires scrupulous honesty and great record keeping.
Have you spoken to your Daughters? What did they say to you? You might tell them that you are now going to an attorney to revoke the POA. They will not win in court if they seek guardianship. If they do that, and they lose, they have to pay the lawyer.
Is there anything that precipitated this? Have you gone gambling (hee hee, that might be me) or have you got bitten by a scammer and spent large amounts of money on it? I am trying to think of the reasoning of three daughters who would behave in this manner.
Hoping for the best for you and hoping you will update this when you get it settled out.
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What is the position in/on all this with your youngest daughter that lives with you & your hubs?
Its her & her kids, right?
If it came down to it align herself with you or with her sister?

Can you totally on your own drive to an attorney’s office?
Can you walk unaided on your own?
Or do you need someone to help you get around & to drive you?

Is hubs on hospice?
Is he getting VA Aide & Attendance paid (you post reads like he is a veteran)? If so, was $ being used to pay caregivers?

What was the incident that happened that likely was the tipping point for your oldest daughter to take this degree of drastic action?
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I would call an elder attorney. Some will be willing to go to your home. Best of luck to you.
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Attorney up. My brother has the durable POA for his father and step mother, however his father still has a checkbook and debit card, plus one CC. She does not as she has dementia.
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Nannie Jean, there will be some questions you'll have to answer when you see an attorney to revoke ALL the documents you and your husband signed, and they are:

1.   Whether anyone involved attempted to explain to you what the documents would accomplish;

2.    Why you didn't read before you signed, even if you did trust your family, and

3.    Are there any other health or mental issues that precluded you from managing your own care?

You do need an attorney to revoke the documents, individually and collectively, but you need someone experienced in fraud.  If you contact elder law attorneys, ask this specifically, and if they don't have fraud experience, keep looking.

As to your rights:  you have the right to revoke the documents; you were apparently uninformed as to their purpose; they were not drafted by an attorney but by a notary public (hardly a qualification) who MAY have invoked criminal penalties if she represented herself as anything but an NP, i.e., if she claimed to be skilled or qualified to draft estate planning agreements, or to act in a  legal capacity.

Notaries acknowledge someone's signature; that's all, and in practice don't always even witness someone's signature.  In litigation, it was common to send out dox for signature, then have a law firm staff member notarize the signature even though that person NEVER met the individual who signed.  

You should also ask the new attorney if the notary's commission can be revoked b/c of her acting "as an attorney."

And you should ask the attorney to institute action to force your daughters and anyone else involved to provide a DETAILED accounting of their financial actions allegedly on behalf of you and your husband.

Good luck.
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