Follow
Share

He has learned how to manipulate the dr and although his care team was going to recommend some places for him to go and try to hold him in the hospital the dr felt like he should be let go and they did so without discussing it with his care team. I live in SC and I came here right away because mom is afraid of him, we need to do something so he can't come back she has heart problems and she should be happy living in her house and she isn't, the police are telling her if she's afraid she should leave... its absurd!!! We need help.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Address the issue of medication compliance.
Contact NAMI in your area, people there have lived through this.

You must have been living this your whole life! You are right that it is an unhappy and difficult situation, but if for safety and sanity reasons, your brother cannot be stabilized and needs to live elsewhere (supported housing),
then get support from the NAMI parents and family living this.

You could approach your brother as an advocate for him, help in finding suitable support and a safe place to live.

Is there anything that has changed with him recently, and how has Mom managed this in the past when he has had bad episodes? Is he a senior now?
Does he have any physical health issues causing him to act out?

Final advice:
Remove all possible weapons from her home, including kitchen knives.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Most likely, the police gave that response because they can not enforce civil issues like residency. Responding that your mother should leave makes people realize that THEIR safety is priority in that situation versus prioritizing their pride when they refuse to do so. (Think domestic violence situations) If your brother lives there, your mother will need to file an eviction on him to get him removed from the residence. If he is doing anything to your mother that puts her in IMMINENT danger or he is a danger to himself, call the police. 90% of the people we deal with in my area have mental health issues but they do not always meet the criteria for an involuntary psychiatric hold. You might also want to check the county that she lives in and see if you can fill out paperwork to have him committed. Many times the family will have a longer history of concerning psychiatric behavior. When officers can only evaluate based on what they see at the time. This paperwork will go before a judge, county mental health services will pick him up, and he will be held per a judges orders which supersede a doctors.

Also, if you can prove physical abuse has occurred, file a police report and request an Emergency Protective Order. In my state, we have to arrest anyone that violates that. A Restraining Order or Temporary Protective Order is civil and the responsibility is on the family to advise a judge that he has violated that. There are no immediate repercussions.

You can also see if there is a MHMR service in your area that can help you walk through processes.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Police can’t do anything unless a crime is being committed, or has been committed. That could be where their advice is coming from.

An attorney can help you get that order of protection. If there is one in place, yes, at that time, someone can be “trespassed”. But, at that time, your mom will also have to be willing to press the charges. It’s hard.

Best wishes.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Just to clarify, a PPO is a type of Restraining Order, preventing someone from doing something.    Trespassing could be considered as an event, but overall it's also a violation of a restraining order to prevent action, not address it after it's occurred.   That's the basic purpose of TROs (temporary restraining orders) or PPOs, to prevent action so that it doesn't occur.  And a violation of a TRO or PPO is justification for police to come, unless laws in a particular state establish different terms and conditions.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You need to call Adult Protection services. If its her house, he needs to leave.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This is absurd. The police should be told he does not live there with her permission and is trespassing. I say call them again.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I watched an intense documentary on the extent of mental illness in the US, as well as part of one addressing the problems of a specific family with a family member who had mental issues.  It was too emotional and I couldn't watch the rest of it.

What kind of doctor is being manipulated?  If it's not someone with a psychiatric or psychological background, another doctor needs to be involved.    That's the primary issue I took from what other families, psychiatric workers, psych hospitals and law enforcement are dealing with.

I think the police are wrong in telling your mother she should leave; it's her home, after all.  In fact, I think the police should be the ones to get the ball rolling and get him committed or placed somewhere safely, where he can't harm himself or others.

I can think of a few options:

1.    Hire an attorney to file ASAP a request for  PPO (Personal Protective Order) to prevent him from approaching either you or your mother (and/or other family), including her home.   In my experience, a perimeter will be established, i.e., he can't come within 100 feet (just an example) of either of you, your homes, vehicles.  Nor could he call, write, text, or e-mail or make any contact whatsoever.  In short, he would be prevented from coming near you and your mother, w/I specifically established limits.  If the order is granted, law enforcement will serve him.  In my area, it was the Sheriff's Department. Violation could result in his being incarcerated. 

2.   Ask an attorney about filing a petition with the probate court (if that's the court that has jurisdiction) for placement in a psychiatric hospital.   This could result in a lot of anger on his part, but it may be the only way he'll get treatment.

3.   Assuming you can afford it, hire a handyman to put locks on all entrances, including windows.   Have him/her or a security company install perimeter security (i.e., exterior lighting close enough to the house to activate when someone approaches it.   

4.   Get some hair spray and keep it handy in case he defies the order.    It's not a good way to repel someone, but it works.   And sometimes you have to be very forceful.  (If you can think of something to be sprayed that doesn't harm someone, but just deters them, use that instead.   You really don't want to harm him, just keep him away.)

5.   If he threatens you or your mother in anyway, call the police immediately.  It is their duty to protect someone, and it sounds like your mother and you could both use protection.   

I only wish this wasn't a weekend, so that you could get assistance immediately.  If you have to leave, is there anyone who could stay with your mother?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

As absurd as it is maybe the police were giving good advice based on their knowledge of how difficult and even dangerous these situations can be. Perhaps taking your mother home with you for an extended visit will allow her to feel safe while you work together on solutions.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter