You have options. Like trying one of those Purewick systems that eliminates the need for multiple diapers changes due to being wet. Or hiring a part-time overnight aide whose only job is to change your mother's diaper at night. No one should ever be left in a wet diaper, but you have to get a night's sleep too. Try one of those Purewick systems. I had a few care clients who had them and they were great.
Hello BLowe. I had a sleep disorder for two years that was resolved in 2019. I do know something about lack of sleep; it makes everything twice as hard and overwhelming.
I am confident the experts on this site will be able to give you trustworthy advice regarding the care of your mom. For the lack of sleep, I experienced a cognitive (hazardous) decline during my sleep disorder. I lost the ability to manage details but it was such a slow decline, I didn't notice the severity of my impairment. At one point, I remember exiting a freeway and stopping at a stop sign. Next thing I know, I woke up...still at the stop sign. I do not recall getting sleepy or even fighting to stay awake. I just woke up. This happened more than once. Part of my impairment was not recognizing the danger I was putting myself and others in. Today, the thought of what could have happened horrifies me. I thank God He protected everyone around me.
I made a standard checklist I kept in a centralized place that reminded me to check things regularly. This might be a helpful list for you.
*Managing medications *Driving *Making major decisions *Appointments *Money matters *Hygiene *Accidentally leaving things "on" or "open"
I'm blessed to report, I haven't had any sleep issues since it was professionally addressed in 2019.
There are overnight briefs and pads that can contain her urine for hours of sleep. You can also put a large size unscented "puppy pad" on top of her fitted mattress sheet to absorb any spillage. She may need to be checked for a UTI. Otherwise, ask her doctor about medication to help her with anxiety (Restoril is a good one) and sleep (Benadryl is safe for most seniors, but check with her doctor first).
Also Buy Heath & Heather Nettle Tea it’s Anti Inflammatory I Cured My Urinary Incontinence Although my Dr/Gp Is Doubtful! It’s very Good For The Kidney s Bladder Urinary Tract & prevents Uti plus Sugar free Craberry Juice you have to drink them In Small Gulps not Fast ad then it passes thru the body just as fast
Buy some Female Plastic Urine Bottles That Can Be Used In The Bedroom or Other Places Google Complete Care Shop you can order by Phone See by Being Bed Ridden she is Poisoning her Body snd May get UTI ok
I’ve seen external catheter systems for women. I never tried them for my mom.
I just looked at them online and they are pricey. The two I looked at were about $400. But if this keeps her dry and lets you get sleep it might be worth it.
But she still may get up. Especially if she has dementia. Have you had her checked for UTI?
BLowe54: Adjust the time of day when she is consuming water/liquid, e.g. depending on what time she goes to bed, make that last drink of water much EARLIER in the day.
She could also be checked at her physician's office for a urinary tract infection, AKA cystitis. If this turns out to be the case, insist on a clinical urine test/urinalysis in lieu of a dip stick test.
My mom became bedridden and incontinent at a late stage in her dementia. Finally I took her out of snfs and assisted with an enhanced license.
Hospice provided the diapers, which I changed. During the day I changed them several times.....like every few hours, but I'd let it go a bit longer overnight, and would change them early in the morning
My mom would call out for me constantly, and for a while I slept on a cot near her hospital bed in the den.
She'd call for dead relatives, etc and after a while I just couldn't take it anymore and went upstairs to my my own bed.
I'd use chucks and a mattress protector. Generally the fecal incontinence was harder for me to deal with.
One night I just couldn't keep up with the diaper changing, and called 911.......that was when diarrhea started and she tested positive for c difficile. Before that mom would make an announcement when she was going to poop in her diaper, in front of the social worker from hospice.......I nearly died!
I must say that changing the diapers was difficult, as mom was bedridden and had limited mobility
I would sort of roll up things and place the chux and mattress protector under. ....it was hard to do, and eventually, a couple of days before her death, she even lost the ability to roll over in bed, and I couldn't physically change the diapers anymore.
I wish you and your mom eventual peace and comfort ......this caregiving is physically and emotionally draining. However, I wanted her out of the snf.......the prices are astronomical, and I couldn't get in to see her because of pandemic restrictions. I am still feeling from the nightmare of it, and am seeing a therapist for my own sanity. My best wishes and blessings go out to you and your mom.
As Dizzerth said, Tranquility brand underwear is very absorbent. IMHO they are the best on the market. They are well made and absorb and wick moisture away from skin so mom will feel drier and more comfortable longer. They make an overnight pullup and tab style. For my mom 86 at night she wears pullup style plus a tranquility top liner. The liner is placed inside the brief and when it gets wet you can quickly peel it off/replace and leave the brief on. If you are going to be the one doing this, the top liners will at least make short work of it. Otherwise as others have said it may be time for an overnight helper at the minimum. Never hurts to try the easier remedy first, then move to the next option when you're ready. Get your mom's doctor's advice on this for sure.
I got some extremely absorbent diapers for my dad. The brand is called Tranquility. Perhaps that would help her feel she could make it till morning. If she is truly bedridden perhaps she could have a cath. I’d ask her doctor. You need sleep too.
I think all the suggestions are great about trying other supplies. Is there a way to hire someone to come in at least a few times a night to give you a break? Check with your local Area Agency on Aging to see what ideas/resources they may have.
Is she drinking a lot before bed? Are you giving her liquids right before sleep with meds? Then shes going to have to go within a half hour or so. You could limit drinks to 3hrs before bed. She won't have to go as much. She's not going to be dehydrated. Just make sure you offer drinks in the am. Parents do that with small children, so they don't wet the bed. I would try another brief at night. Why is she feeling so wet? They are supposed to absorb it and keep her dry. Sounds like they are not working. Try another brand or get doc to recommend one. Good luck.
Speak with her doctor and a local social worker to discuss your mother's options for assistance with her care. She may be eligible for in-home aides that can back you up so that you can get some sleep.
I agree with cwillie about "frequent urges to pee" possible being a symptom of a UTI, especially if she was recently hospitalized for the fracture and if she was catheterized at any point.
If she has cognitive or memory impairment, I'm not sure you'll be able to reason with her or "train" her to change this habit. The only thing I can suggest is to ignore her. Others have suggested placement in a care community -- maybe not a bad idea to at least start researching options and places as this may take time, especially if she has humble finances. If she qualifies for LTC, she may also qualify for Medicaid, which would cover 100% of the cost along with her SS benefit.
She should be changed every time she urinates. To not change someone can lead to skin breakdown. There are pads designed to go inside a pull up or a tab brief (aka "diaper") placing a pad would make the change a bit easier and faster. I have to ask are you using a tab brief? If so that makes changing her in bed much easier. How often is she urinating? How much is the output? When she is asking to be changed is she actually wet? Was she incontinent prior to the fracture? Is there an expected positive outcome? If she is going to be bed bound for the for seeable future it might be a good idea to hire an over night caregiver that will change her.
I agree, we have to have boundaries… it is like PTSD after they’ve passed on or eventually went into skilled nursing facility. Look at one person who posted they were now in therapy after all was said and done:(
How often is "every time she pees"? If she is on a diuretic and takes that in the evening ask about changing the timing. Has she been checked for a UTI? If you used a pad inside the pullup/brief could she manage that on her own?
What is the prognosis for her injury, if she isn't expected to recover and regain some mobility it may be time to consider placement. It may sound cruel but if that is where you are you might point out to her that she won't be getting changed on demand in a nursing home so she might be better off learning to do without that now.
One other thought - if she took medication to sleep more deeply she would be less apt to awaken and call for you.
Or hiring a part-time overnight aide whose only job is to change your mother's diaper at night.
No one should ever be left in a wet diaper, but you have to get a night's sleep too.
Try one of those Purewick systems. I had a few care clients who had them and they were great.
I am confident the experts on this site will be able to give you trustworthy advice regarding the care of your mom. For the lack of sleep, I experienced a cognitive (hazardous) decline during my sleep disorder. I lost the ability to manage details but it was such a slow decline, I didn't notice the severity of my impairment. At one point, I remember exiting a freeway and stopping at a stop sign. Next thing I know, I woke up...still at the stop sign. I do not recall getting sleepy or even fighting to stay awake. I just woke up. This happened more than once. Part of my impairment was not recognizing the danger I was putting myself and others in. Today, the thought of what could have happened horrifies me. I thank God He protected everyone around me.
I made a standard checklist I kept in a centralized place that reminded me to check things regularly. This might be a helpful list for you.
*Managing medications
*Driving
*Making major decisions
*Appointments
*Money matters
*Hygiene
*Accidentally leaving things "on" or "open"
I'm blessed to report, I haven't had any sleep issues since it was professionally addressed in 2019.
I'm praying for your restoration and safety. ~ VV
plus Sugar free Craberry Juice you have to drink them In Small Gulps not Fast ad then it passes thru the body just as fast
I just looked at them online and they are pricey. The two I looked at were about $400. But if this keeps her dry and lets you get sleep it might be worth it.
But she still may get up. Especially if she has dementia. Have you had her checked for UTI?
She could also be checked at her physician's office for a urinary tract infection, AKA cystitis. If this turns out to be the case, insist on a clinical urine test/urinalysis in lieu of a dip stick test.
Hospice provided the diapers, which I changed. During the day I changed them several times.....like every few hours, but I'd let it go a bit longer overnight, and would change them early in the morning
My mom would call out for me constantly, and for a while I slept on a cot near her hospital bed in the den.
She'd call for dead relatives, etc and after a while I just couldn't take it anymore and went upstairs to my my own bed.
I'd use chucks and a mattress protector. Generally the fecal incontinence was harder for me to deal with.
One night I just couldn't keep up with the diaper changing, and called 911.......that was when diarrhea started and she tested positive for c difficile.
Before that mom would make an announcement when she was going to poop in her diaper, in front of the social worker from hospice.......I nearly died!
I must say that changing the diapers was difficult, as mom was bedridden and had limited mobility
I would sort of roll up things and place the chux and mattress protector under. ....it was hard to do, and eventually, a couple of days before her death, she even lost the ability to roll over in bed, and I couldn't physically change the diapers anymore.
I wish you and your mom eventual peace and comfort ......this caregiving is physically and emotionally draining. However, I wanted her out of the snf.......the prices are astronomical, and I couldn't get in to see her because of pandemic restrictions. I am still feeling from the nightmare of it, and am seeing a therapist for my own sanity. My best wishes and blessings go out to you and your mom.
Have you checked with the doctor to make sure that the frequent pee is normal and not a symptom of a different issue?
been there Im doing that.
https://www.activstyle.com/medicaid/?utm_source=t2&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=activstyle-qualified&gclid=CjwKCAjwt7SWBhAnEiwAx8ZLagCyooVgw6MFx3ppobZ1FqsmSjeIzNgCPw-a8sJ6D0XiXERK9khHdhoC-uUQAvD_BwE
Parents do that with small children, so they don't wet the bed. I would try another brief at night. Why is she feeling so wet? They are supposed to absorb it and keep her dry. Sounds like they are not working. Try another brand or get doc to recommend one. Good luck.
If she has cognitive or memory impairment, I'm not sure you'll be able to reason with her or "train" her to change this habit. The only thing I can suggest is to ignore her. Others have suggested placement in a care community -- maybe not a bad idea to at least start researching options and places as this may take time, especially if she has humble finances. If she qualifies for LTC, she may also qualify for Medicaid, which would cover 100% of the cost along with her SS benefit.
To not change someone can lead to skin breakdown.
There are pads designed to go inside a pull up or a tab brief (aka "diaper") placing a pad would make the change a bit easier and faster.
I have to ask are you using a tab brief? If so that makes changing her in bed much easier.
How often is she urinating?
How much is the output?
When she is asking to be changed is she actually wet?
Was she incontinent prior to the fracture?
Is there an expected positive outcome?
If she is going to be bed bound for the for seeable future it might be a good idea to hire an over night caregiver that will change her.
I have 2 in homes, one in AL (age 97) another in MC (age 84) they are exactly where they need to be at this point in their life.
Sorry that I do not have any otherwise viable solution. Take Care!
What is the prognosis for her injury, if she isn't expected to recover and regain some mobility it may be time to consider placement. It may sound cruel but if that is where you are you might point out to her that she won't be getting changed on demand in a nursing home so she might be better off learning to do without that now.
One other thought - if she took medication to sleep more deeply she would be less apt to awaken and call for you.